[deblucas]

Hi all.
I'm here - posting because you all are the only ones who may understand.
My son turned 18 on 7/27 of this year.
I need to know what state the adoption was finalized in because I gave birth in Oregon but they say the adoption wasn't finalized there. So, in order to register with the state's adoption registry, I need to know what state it was finalized in. So I called LDSSS.
The case worker didn't have that information - apparently it's all on microfiche in SLC. But he did have on hand the adoptive family's phone number and he said he would call them and ask how they felt about contact and/or a reunion. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up - it could never be that easy!!!!
Adoptive mom answered the phone and apparently freaked out. The case worker said she was hesitant to even admit who she was. She said that she needed to talk to her family before they made any decisions but when he asked her if she would call him back she wouldn't commit to it. So, I'm thinking she won't even tell her husband or my son about the phone call.
I'm supposed to call the agency back on Thursday or Friday of this week to see if she called back. I'm thinking of asking the case worker to talk to her and see if she would be open to me writing a letter - sent through LDSSS agency - so that if they are ever ready, they will know where I am. What do you all think?
I guess I knew that the adoptive mom would freak out. If I put myself in her shoes, my knee jerk reaction would be fear. I just wish she could understand that I'm not looking to upset my son's life or to impose myself on them at all. But to hand your baby over the total strangers that you have never met and that you know nothing about and to NEVER know what happened to your baby is one of the most difficult burdens that a heart can bear. I just want to know he is okay and to know that he was loved and to finally know that maybe, just maybe I did the right thing.

[pennu]

If he had the adoptive parent's phone number, then he obviously knows what state they live in. And if he knows that, chances are that's where the adoption was finalized.

Seems rather odd that you'd be told it was archived in Salt Lake but he had the adoptive parent's phone number!!!