[geogdeb]

My husband has said the same kind of thing. He thinks that my signature was obtained illegally. However, I have found that the law means nothing when it comes to adoption.

After I sent the last email to the head of the GA agency he sent me an email back saying I was being insulting and manipulative. I kinda laughed when I got the email, but now I am really mad. Imagine them calling me manipulative -- when they manipulate young men and women every day!
Oh and he said "I appreciate you bringing to my attention the problem we had with getting your non-identifying information. I was able to do some things to advocate a change in how that was being handled. " I guess that change hasn't reached your agency yet!

I don't know if a class action lawsuit would work, but I would be willing to put my two cents worth in.

Good Luck -- Keep bugging them about the non-ID.

Deb

[deblucas]

Hi.
Can someone please explain the term "non-identifying information"? I don't understand what that is or how you get it.

Also, I'm in on the class action lawsuit - I have proof that LDSSS did mine illegally.

Thanks!

[geogdeb]

non-identifying information is simply information about the adoptee or adoptive family such as ethnic information, jobs, education levels, family structure etc. that gives you a little information about the family the adoptee went to or about the birth parents without revealing any identifying information. Non-identifying information is mostly useless, but every now and then, there is some valuable information contained in it.

Can you tell us what proof you had that LDSSS did your adoption illegally? I know there are many of us that would love to see them get what is coming to them.

[deblucas]

Thanks for defining that term that is used so frequently - I now understand.

Did you ever get a letter from your adoptive parents? I have one - I got it when my son turned 1.

Ironically, I had a dream about him last night. I saw a young man that looked exactly like his father but I knew it couldn't be his father because he looked so young - then I realized it was my son - and I woke up!

LDSSS had my mom witness the adoption papers which in Oregon is illegal - they have to be witnessed by an independent third party. They also had me sign the papers less than 24 hours after delivery when I still had the medication in me - that also is against the law. I also called and wanted to stop things and they went ahead anyway. In essence, and this is what I tell everyone - LDSSS stole my baby.

[jfrost]

Well Today I scared the heck out of my co-worker, accidently of course. I was in my office and my ear caught this commercial on a Clear-channel station and I heard the voice of a young woman lamenting about sacrafice and what it means and what true love is or different definitions of it are and what a loving sacrafice she is making and she doesn't want to raise a child alone and the father doesn't want to raise a child etc and of course what a great decision adoption is....of course who else but lds family services! It plays on clear channel and infinity stations-mostly infinity----I just yelled out loud I almost exploded when I heard it was THEM!
god what terrible people they are!
God bless all of you and we shall have justice someday!

[stupidgyrl]

Does anyone know how to contact LDSSS? I tried doing a general search online, but found nothing with any contact information for them. From what I've heard they will just be a dead end, but I can atleast try to put in a consent to contact form and try and get my Non-id information.
:P
-Amanda

[jfrost]

Check your local listings white pages or yellow pages under Lds Family Services. Or call your local church and ask for the number for lds family services for your stake.
Do you know your birthdate and what state your adoption took place?
that info will help...I just wish my daughter would put in her consent to contact form and I am still struggling to get my request for non-Id info good luck for you and let me know how it works. Jon

[deblucas]

Hi all.
I'm having a baby! I'm very excited but feeling a little strange as well. I knew if anyone would understand it is my fellow birthmom's here.
My baby is due almost the exact same day as the child I gave up for adoption. So the time of year for everything is the same. It's surreal - all of my other children have been due at drastically different times so there was very little correlation.
Also, my son will be 18 this summer and I have been waiting since the day I gave him up for a reunion - now I will be possibly delivering his little brother/sister just as the opportunity for a reunion comes about.
Would this weird any of you out?
I've been thinking about him more than ever now that I'm pregnant.
Thanks for the support.
Debbie

[geogdeb]

Hi Debbie,

I am so happy for you! Good luck with your pregnancy. I hope your son begins to search for you as soon as he is 18. However, keep in mind that LDSFS will not allow him to fill out a consent to contact form until he is 21. Go figure! But maybe he will get online and look or stumble into the information. I know that all my son has to do is put his birthdate into a search engine and he will find me.

My search is at a stand still. I still have no idea what state the adoption was finalized. The Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry tried to help me, but the records are sealed. Apparently if you were adopted through the state they keep a card that has both the birth parents name and the adoptive parents name. But since I relinquished through LDSFS and my son was sent out of state, they don't have the adoptive parents names and therefore cannot initiate a search. It really sucks. I emailed a lawyer today to see if it was possible to unseal whatever records they have in GA and at least give the information to the Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry. I am anxiously waiting his reply.

Good luck to all of you in your searches. Check with the state you live in and see if they have a search program.

Thanks,

Debbie (also)

[deblucas]

Hi Debbie (also).
I'm so sorry about your search - be patient - it will happen.
I'm lucky in the fact that I had my son in Oregon and they have a law that my son can ask for his original birth certificate with my name listed as mom when he is 18. About a year 1/2 ago I was contacted by the state because my son tried to get his birth certificate early (in Oregon an adoptee can get his original birth certificate at any age with his adoptive parents' signature) - but his parent's squashed it. So, I know he is interested - we'll just have to see what happens.
Good luck to all - here's hoping we all find our children.
I'll keep you posted about the pregnancy - it's weird to be older and having a baby - in some ways it's good, in others it's a lot harder!
Take care,
Debbie

[geogdeb]

Hi Everyone,

I am posting this on this thread because I know that all of you have pretty much been going through the same thing I am going through, but I will post it as a new thread on the LDS site as well.

I got some pretty exciting news today. I contacted a lawyer about unsealing my sons adoption records so I could at least find out what state he was adopted in and maybe have identifying information released to a confidential intermediary. After all, that is what the Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry (GARR) does for birthparents. The problem I have run into is that the GARR cannot access sealed records. They already have information in their files about children, birthparents and adoptive parents that were adopted through the state, but they don't have information from private adoption agencies like LDSFS. Therefore they could not conduct a search. I always thought it was strange that even though the searches were mandated by Georgia law (since 1990) LDSFS maintained that they had there own policies and did not have to follow that law. The workers at the GARR were even ignorant of policies that extended beyond the state agencies.

Anyway the lawyer emailed me today and told me that LDSFS had to comply to Georgia law and do a search for me!!!! I emailed the head of the LDSFS in Georgia today and told him what my lawyer said and included the code number and exact wording of the law. He hasn't responded yet, of course, but I am sure that I will hear from him by next week.

The exciting thing about this information is that if it is true in Georgia then it is most likely true in all states. So whatever the state laws are where you relinquished your child, they apply to LDSFS also!!!! If that state has a confidential intermediary service, then LDSFS has to offer the same services. So check out your state laws and consult an attorney if you have to. The one I talked to offered to press LDSFS into complying if they get difficult (for a reduced fee). I am very excited about this news. Maybe I will find my son after all.

Good luck, and let me know if I can help.

Debbie

[geogdeb]

Hi Again Everyone,

I heard from LDSFS and they are going to comply with GA law and do a search for me!!! I am so excited. I mailed the papers and money ($70.00 an hour -- but they only wanted $70.00 up front) off yesterday. Now I am so nervous. The procedure is that they contact him -- which I can't imagine taking long with all their resources -- and tell him his birthmother wants contact. I included some information about me and my family and some questions I would like answered. If he wants contact he will need to send in a consent-to-contact form and if not at least I will get an answer to some questions about him and he will know I am looking for him.

I have to give LDSFS some credit. They acted on this much faster than I thought they would. Good for them! This proves that you should never give up.

Debbie

[JoEvans]

Good luck y'all! The LDS church is a 'tight lipped" church. They believe in "families are forever".

My lil sister also gave her son up for adoption, through the LDS church. Now I see why she is so afraid of trying to reunite with him.
(Jason, born july 4, 1983?)

Best wishes in your searches.

Jo

[geogdeb]

Hi Everyone,

Yesterday I was contacted by my confidential intermediary and told that he had found my son. Many questions were answered with that phone call. He is alive and well. He has had a happy life and loves his aparents very much. What a relief!!!

However, he wasn't ready for contact. I am encouraged though because he asked for my identifying information from the CI. So he has my name and address and email address and phone number!!!! I think eventually he will make contact, but the wait is already killing me and it hasn't even been 24 hours! I know that this is normal. The request for contact took him by surprise. But I don't know how to control these feelings. It's like being on pins and needles all the time. Does anyone have any advice?

I also want to tell anyone who is dealing with LDSFS that all though many of us have had bad experiences, there are many people associated with LDSFS that are just "good people". I am thankful that my CI is that kind or person. So don't give up, check out your state laws, and hopefully things will work out for all of you! I want to say thank you again to all of you who have supported in this difficult journey. Don't get me wrong, the journey continues and I still need support. I hope that all of you eventually have your questions and prayers answered.

Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you,

Debbie

[deblucas]

DEBBIE - CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a day when I lost most of my hope, you helped me out a lot.

All of this time, I've been going under the assumption that since my son was born in Oregon - all I have to do it register with their adoption registry and when he's 18, he will know he was born in Oregon and will register too. Well, I tried to register and my application was sent back refused because my adoption wasn't finalized in Oregon so they have no record of my son's birth.

I know what they did was take him to Utah where the laws are so strict I will never be able to find him. UGH! I hate LDSSSS - I hate them.

So, now I have nothing - nowhere to go - nothing to do.

Again - Debbie, I am soooooo happy for you.