[NewWorld1]

I am a bit confused by some conflicting information that I am reading on Korea...are you permitted to state a preference for gender?

[Carlee1boy]

We were allowed to select a girl because we already had two boys. This was back in 2006 though, and it may have changed. I know there are many more boys available for adoption.
Carolyn

[Hopeful_Jen]

What we were told is that Korea understands the desire to balance families. So, if you already have a son (or two) they will accept a request for a female referral. However, if you do not have children yet, or only have female children, they will not let you request a female referral.

Specific agencies may place additional restrictions on this and not let you chose gender. Also, you can select no gender preference, but chances are very high that you will receive a male referral. There are many, many more males available for international adoption than females.

[Max'smom]

Some US agencies restrict gender selection - for instance, Holt states:
• Families must be open to a child of either gender unless:Family is applying for a Waiting Child.
• Family may request a girl if parents are Korean-American or family has 2 or more boys and no girls.

[sak9645]

The rule is actually an agency rule, not Korea's. Many American agencies are moving away from allowing gender selection for a first child, not just for Korea, but for many other countries, such as Ethiopia and Vietnam.

The reason is simple. Americans overwhelmingly request girls. As a result, an agency is likely to have a long waiting list for girls, while boys remain in orphanages and foster homes for much too long, waiting for parents. Agencies feel that it just isn't right.

Agencies generally don't feel that they can restrict gender selection for people who already have children, since there may be compelling reasons for asking for a particular gender. As an example, a couple with a two bedroom home and a four year old girl will need to have the second child share a bedroom with the first. As a result, the new child will also need to be female. And a couple with three boys may simply want to balance out the sexes a bit.

With childless couples, however, agencies feel that they wouldn't choose gender if they were having a bio child; as a result, it's OK not to let them choose gender if they are adopting.

Korea doesn't allow singles to adopt, but some countries do. While some agencies think that single women should parent only girls, many have come to realize that single women can do just as well with boys. Both girls and boys need male role models, for example, and single women need to be sure that children of either gender have access to safe, supportive men. So even singles may fall under the rule that gender selection isn't possible for a first child.

As to Waiting Children, agencies are generally a bit more permissive about gender choice. Waiting children are generally hard to place because they are of school age or have a special need, so agencies may relax their rules, simply to get the children into good families. Unfortunately, the permissiveness does mean that a lot of school aged boys will not find permanent homes.

Sharon

[ajcastle]

I agree with all of the above.

In our case, our agency allowed us to request a girl becuase we had 3 male children already. This was teh only reason why we were allowed the request. Also, a lot of agenicies I have seen will allow a gender request for a male. I really believe it is agency specific....

[Denvernurse]

I think it is agency choice if they allow you to pick boy or girl. My DH and I have a 2 year old girl (bio), and we were able to choose whether we want a boy, girl, or either. If you want a girl though the wait list is long compared to the boys but there is a wait list for both.

[tinkerbell11599]

With our agency for our first child we had to open to either sex. DH and I just wanted a healthy baby. I told my sw that since I was the oldest in my family, I always wished that I had an older brother so I actually hoped for a boy.

We got our son's referral one day before our 10th anniversary less than a month after we submitted in our application in 2004. We had his referral reviewed and accepted his referral.

We adopted our daughter who is a sibling to our son less than a year later. We adopted our 2nd daughter who is a sibling to the other two kids late last year.

And I do agree with others on here, I do believe that it's agency dependent.

Jen