[kward305]

Hi everyone. Just a quick question about getting our new little guy to sleep. It will be 4 weeks this Wednesday since he's been home. He is doing remarkable well. We are finally starting to get into a routine.

I still have one minor concern. Unless DS is completely exhausted, he still pushes me away when I try to walk/rock him to sleep. We've tried putting him to sleep awake, but that doesn't work either. I just need reassurance that it is okay for him to still be pushing me away at 4 weeks in. I normally just hold him anyway and just keep changing positions until he settles in, but it gets frustrating. If I put him down, he cries. Should I be concerned that this is attachment related? Or should I just go with the flow and everything will just work itself out?


Thanks for listening!

Kate

[Max'smom]

Hi,
It sounds like your son is still "grieving" at night, which is very common. Our son did that for the first several weeks - cried at night and was upset. Your guy is still getting over the changes and yes, he is till getting used to his new family. I am not sure what you mean about whether this is attachment related - could you clarify what your concerns are? I would venture that attachment is a process that takes a long time and has many phases, so at this time it is a little early to expect attachment to have been achieved, but your son's behavior is "normal" and healthy, not an "attachment problem" if I am getting what I think you are worried about (although you might clarify if I am not getting your question right). Most discussions of how kids get attached suggest that grieving is a very positive sign.
MM

[Kristen_M]

Hi!

Our son has been home three weeks ad when we are rocking him to sleep, he pushes us and arches his back. When we brought it up to the pediatritian he was not concerned and said many babies do that when they fight going to sleep. We do the same thing, we continue to hold him, or put him down briefly. He's been getting better, but we are in the same boat you are....we've got a fidgety fuss budget at nap time! Good Luck!

[kward305]

Thanks for the replies.

Max'sMom - You understood me completely. I was just concerned that we were doing something wrong that would delay his attachment process. The fact that he is still grieving makes complete sense and explains why he is still resisting us at bed time. We will just keep doing what we are doing!

Kristen - It is good to hear someone else that is experiencing the same thing and that your ped. says it is normal. Good luck to you as well!

Thanks again for your help!

Kate

[Max'smom]

Hi,
We couldn't put our son to sleep awake in his crib until he had been home for many, many months. I know there are kids that liked cribs from the start, but our guy hated, hated hated the crib and was terrified of it especially at night until he was home around 5-6 months (until he was around 10 months old). We coslept until that point. Eventually it became clear that he wanted to be able to see out of the crib - once we took the "bumper" off the crib, he never minded the crib ever again. Even today (he is 2.5) he wants to have the door open and the curtains open so he feels he can see us.
MM