[mommy2B2Nina]

I was at Bible Study last night and was asking for prayers for patience for the adoption process. A few of the ladies had questions (when will she be home, etc).
After the class, one of the ladies said -I just cannot imagine what an undertaking that is going to be for you. To pull that child away from everything she has known and put her in a new life where everything is confusing and frightening.
I was not sure if she wanted a response, but I said something like, yes, I'm sure it will have it's challenges, but we are all very excited. I was a little mad. Like she was telling me I should be ashamed of adopting and ruining my daughters life! I didn;t expect this. Wish I had had a good response. I did tell her we are doing everything we can to educate ourselves and make the transition as easy as possible. Wow. Anyone else have an experience like this?

[cara620]

I actually think it is nice for once that someone outside the adoption community can understand that this process is not all hearts and flowers. Of coarse I was not there to hear her tone and see her body language..they may have conveyed a more condeming message than the words you wrote. But just from the words...I think they sound like she was trying to really empathize and show you she realized this is not an easy process even after the baby comes home...for parents or child. I wish some of my friends and aquaintaces would realize that end of the issue sometimes. Everyone around me seems to be focusing only on the excitement of adding to our family. Except for my mother who constantly reminds me of the hardships ahead and continues to question if we "really want to do this". I don't know maybe I'm wrong, cause I wasn't there, but I think I would have agreed with what she said and carried the conversation from that point. But again, I am sure her tone of voice and body language may have sent a different message all together.

Just my thoughts,