[madtownrph1]

My husband and I are just starting are homestudy process and are considering Ethiopia and Korea. Does anyone have any insight about adopting from these countries?

[sak9645]

First off, there is no right or wrong answer. Any ethical adoption you do will be fulfilling your basic desire to parent by offering a permanent, loving home to a child who needs one desperately.

But here are some of my thoughts on the two countries.

Korea has been placing children with American families for over 50 years. The two countries work together beautifully. The system is ethical, stable, and extremely organized.

With Korea, unless you want to adopt children with special needs, you must work with an agency that has a contract with the Korean government to place children with families IN YOUR STATE. Most states have only a couple of agencies with Korea contracts, so you don't have a lot of choice. The good news, however, is that Korea screens the agencies very well. Most of the agencies are long-established and highly experienced. It is hard to go wrong with them.

If you happen to live in a state where no agency has a Korea contract to place healthy infants, do not despair. You may find that you can work with an agency that is allowed to place children with special needs, to adopt a child whose special need is extremely minor -- an extra finger or toe, mild prematurity/low birthweight, etc.

Many families choose Korea, because the country has what is probably the best medical care system outside the Western world. If the Korean doctors evaluate a child who is available for adoption, you can be pretty sure that you will receive accurate and detailed information about his/her condition, at least to the extent that the condition is apparent at birth. (Some conditions, such as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Effect, may not be readily apparent until a child is much older.) Also, if a child has some issues, he/she is likely to receive excellent medical care, including services like physical therapy, while waiting for a family.

In the past, many families chose Korea because the available children were usually born in hospitals to single young women who did not have a lot of risk factors. The young women who gave birth often had stayed in a maternity home prior to delivery, and had received good nutrition and prenatal care. This HAS changed to some extent, and more of the babies today are born to women who have not been in maternity homes, have not had good prenatal care, and who HAVE risk factors that may include alcohol abuse during pregnancy. Still, there are children coming into care who are healthy offspring of healthy mothers. But you must be aware that, even with Korea, there IS a chance that a child will come home with a previously undiagnosed issue.

Many families also choose Korea because the babies available for adoption tend to be placed in very well supervised foster homes, where they get lots of love and attention. All of the adoptable babies are officially in the care of one of four welfare organizations in Korea, which do an excellent job of running foster care and medical care programs. They also provide ongoing services for children with severe special needs.

Still another reason for Korea's popularity is that, in the past, babies have come home quite young -- often under six months of age. You need to be aware that this is changing. Korea is trying to encourage domestic adoption by allowing single Korean women to adopt, offering adoption leave to Korean families, and so on. Recently, there have been reports that Korea will not be allowing children to be referred to overseas families until they are at least five months old, unless they have an urgent need for medical treatment. This could mean that children will be closer to a year old when they come home.

In general, Korea is less willing to place older children for adoption abroad than some countries. There is a concern that an older child may not adjust readily to a new family and country. So check with agencies if you think that you might want to adopt a child over age three, to see if it will be possible.

The number of children available from Korea has declined sharply over the past decade or so. The reasons are simple. First off, Korea is, arguably, the most prosperous country from which Americans adopt. Fewer people need to place children because of extreme poverty. Fewer people need to place children because the children have minor medical issues that they cannot afford to treat. And more people are willing and able to support an "extra mouth to feed" and to adopt domestically. Also, the social mores of the country have changed. There is greater access to family planning, and less stigma if a woman becomes pregnant outside of marriage.

Today, there is far more demand for Korean babies than there are children available for placement, at least if you are talking about healthy infants. As a result, Korea has come to feel that it can be very selective in admitting families to its adoption program. It has just about the strictest requirements of any country in the world with regard to parental age, marital status, health status, length of marriage, number of children at home, financial stability, and so on. Many people who would like to adopt will NOT qualify.

And many agencies with Korea programs will not allow first-time parents to specify the gender of the child they wish to adopt. The problem is that most American families express a desire to adopt girls. This could result in boys remaining in care a long time. If a person IS allowed to specify gender, he/she should be aware that the wait for a girl referral is likely to be considerably longer than the wait for a boy referral.

Many parents like Korea because they do not have to travel and complete an adoption overseas. Families can choose to have their children escorted home if they wish, or can travel for a period of time that can be as short as four or five days. Whether or not they travel, the adoptions are not actually finalized in Korea. The children come home under a decree of guardianship, and on IR-4 visas, and then the parents do a domestic adoption within the U.S.

Parents who adopt from Korea will find that they have many sources of support in the U.S. Because Korean adoption has gone on for so long, there are many, many adults who were adopted from Korea as children, and who have strong feelings about what worked and did not work in terms of the way their Moms and Dads parented them. Organizations like KAAN have been very helpful to adoptive families who have questions about how to help their children treasure their birth heritage and deal with racism.

In general, within the U.S., the racism involving Korean children is less than, or at least more subtle than, the racism involving Black children. Some White parents will find that their relatives are more accepting of adopted Asians. However, parents will still need to do a great deal to prepare their Asian children to live in a society where prejudice is common.

Interestingly, some Korean children adopted by White families will find that prejudice comes not only from White and Black people. They may face some discrimination from Koreans raised by their biological families, especially if they do not speak Korean or show strong familiarity with Korean customs.

Fees for a Korean adoption are in the moderate range. Expect them to be, for example, higher than the fees for Ethiopia and China, but lower than the fees for most Eastern European countries.

Ethiopia developed a formal adoption program just a few short years ago. By most assessments, Ethiopia has the most organized, ethical, and stable adoption system in Africa. However, as it has not been in place long, one cannot assume that it will maintain stability indefinitely. It is a country that is very poor and that has had more than its share of war, famine, and disease -- conditions that COULD overwhelm the system.

The Ethiopian government has taken the position that only agencies to which it grants licenses will be permitted to place children with overseas families. At this time, very few American agencies have received licenses, though more have applications in process.

As a result it is VERY important that a family work only with an agency in the U.S. that has been licensed by the Ethiopian government. If an agency tells you that it doesn't need a license, or that its license will be granted within a couple of weeks, do NOT use it. If you have concerns about whether an agency is licensed, ask to see the license or contact the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa or the Ethiopian Embassy in the U.S. The Ethiopian government will NOT grant permission for an adoption by an unlicensed organization, and the U.S. government will not grant a visa for a child adopted in an unauthorized way to enter the U.S.

When comparing agencies with Ethiopian licenses, since the program is very new, look for those that have a long track record in conducting ethical adoptions from a variety of other countries, and those that already have brought home significant numbers of children from Ethiopia.

Ethiopia is a country that has a high rate of HIV; many children come into care because their birthparents have died of AIDS related illnesses. Hepatitis B may also be an issue. In addition, many children come into care with a variety of medical issues, such as significant malnutrition. When you adopt from Ethiopia, it is important to work with an agency that will arrange reliable testing for HIV and Hepatitis B, and that will obtain decent medical evaluations of the children. Be sure to ask about kids who have come home with any previously undiagnosed special needs.

The good news is that many of the agencies do arrange for high quality medical evaluations, and work with orphanages that do an excellent job of caring for the children. Some parents are surprised to find that their children come home with signs of a good diet and appropriate attention to their physical and emotional development.

Ethiopia is becoming popular with families because large numbers of children of all ages, including sibling groups, are available. Babies can be referred very young. And, at present, the time frame tends to be fairly short, although it has been lengthening a bit as Ethiopia becomes more popular with American families. Some agencies do not allow gender selection, at least for first-time parents, but others may.

Ethiopia is also popular because the requirements for adoptive families are fairly liberal with regard to age, marital status, length of marriage, health status, number of children at home, etc.

Like Korea, Ethiopia allows either travel or escort. Those who travel will often stay only a week or less. My understanding -- please correct me if I'm wrong -- is that the Ethiopian government grants a final decree of adoption before the parents travel. This means that the child will come home on an IR-4 visa, and parents will need to readopt or do a "recognition" in their home state, so that the child can become a U.S. citizen.

Because Ethiopian adoption is relatively new, there are relatively few support groups for families who have adopted Ethiopian children. Often, families will do best getting together with other families who have used their agency of choice, or with families who have adopted children from other African nations or Black American children. They may also try to link up with Ethiopian communities in the U.S. in order to teach their children about Ethiopian culture and language.

Unfortunately, there is a great deal of prejudice in the U.S. against Black people. A White family adopting an Ethiopian child may find that some relatives will have to be "out of the picture" because they cannot treat an Ethiopian child as they would a White child. When a Black child gets older, he/she may find that there are stereotypes in the larger community, which can be extremely pernicious -- for example, expectations that a Black male will be violent or involved with drugs and that a Black female will be promiscuous and not interested in education. The family will need to take a very active role in helping a child to develop self-esteem and to learn to combat racism.

Unfortunately, there could be prejudice coming from the Black community, as well. A Black child raised in a White family may be viewed as "not Black enough" in attitudes and interests. And an Ethiopian child may be viewed as "different" from American Blacks.

Ethiopia has traditionally been one of the lowest cost countries for American families. However, with the increasing popularity of the program, don't be surprised to see fees increase, though they will probably stay in the low to moderate range.

I hope this helps.

Sharon

[adoptkoreablog]

I suggest that you visit Adoption Blogs: What's New. I am the Korean blogger and I can't help you with Ethiopia. However, the woman who writes the Ethiopian blog has Ethiopian children and Korean children. Check it out.

[Carlee1boy]

I have a coworker who adopted two girls (age 5 and 8) from Ethiopia. They came home in July, after a three year process. From all she experienced, it seems like it is not yet a very stable process (not to say that any international adoption is).

That said, both of her girls are healthy and beautiful. They were certainly worth the wait!

Read everything you can and decide--your heart will lead you where you are meant to go. Good luck!

Carolyn

[madtownrph1]

Thanks for all of you input. It is extremely helpful.

Wendy