[Magens8]

Has anyone heard any more about these changes? Do we know who was the last group to get through before being put on hold? Our dossier is now ready, but I'm wondering when the cut off was - was it actually last week or are they doing any grandfathering?

Also I'm becoming concerned about the 5 month rule and the health of the babies. Since the babies must stay in foster care for 5 mos with the hope of a domestic adoption, it seems like the healthiest, most robust babies will be picked first and the others will be left. Maybe that is a harsh way of putting it, but I am being realistic here.
Has anyone heard anything about this? Our #1 reason for picking Korea was the nuturing environment and health of the babies.
Thanks

[SPD]

Hi! I don't have much information except that my agency works with Eastern and as of now, there is no hold. I was told if they heard anything we would get a call. We just got on the waiting list so who knows. So the last I heard it was only SWS that has a hold right now. Of course everyone will be affected next year.

I don't know as far as the healthier children being picked first. I think that is kind of how it happens now with the international adoption anyway. That is why there are children waiting. I see what you are trying to say though.

Sandra

[lynnor]

I guess I would't worry about health as much, but maybe more about attachment issues.

Right now, Korean couples seeking to adopt can bring home pretty much a newborn and usually choose healthy infants and more often girls -- been that way for years.

With the longer time in-country, it maybe gives some people a chance to adopt a slightly older infant if they choose (singles adopting may choose this) or lets some initial health issues work out, but I have a feeling like here in the US, newborns would be choice of preference for most. That also has an advantage for people here, though, too. Health issues that are a bit unclear have more time to clarify as to being non-issues or leading to better diagnoses. Most agencies give you a checklist of health issues to indicate what you are open to. You don't have to check anything.

So, I guess my impression is that yes, there will be fewer infants put into the international pool...but it's been the Korean gov't goal since 1988 to eliminate international adoption by 2010 (though maybe a bit later). I don't think health issues will be primary concern, but people should learn about attachment issues and how to care for child to help prevent those problems from occuring (or healing the issues).

As far as wait times, HS going over, etc. What I've heard from some agencies is processes will slow down for a while but won't stop. They are also, however, trying to figure out how to best handle the shift. It could mean agencies rationing referrals/applications a bit more (or not) or just quoting longer wait times. I have a feeling too that due to age issue, many people that would have been in line for Korea are stepping out (heard of a few already). So...this first year/6 mo will be the shake-out period and then the process should get to be more predictable again.

[dwilli]

Hi everyone. I just want to share with you all what our agency is letting everyone know. Our agency works with Holt and as of right now they are continuing with their referrals as there is no hold. They anticipate that after the 1st of the year there will be longer referral times and the ages of the babies being referred will be older. As of right now my agency is continuing to accept applications to Korea but they are going to encourage families to double apply to another program or at leat have another program in mind.

This is all very frustrating. My husband and I have been so excited knowing that we could receive our referral anytime now and we know that we are the next on the list at our agency. This certainly burst our bubble. Now even though we may receive a referral I am nervous that something could happen within the Korean government and it could all change. I would hate to have come so close and not be able to get to our ultimate goal of being parents after a very long 5 year wait!

[racytracy]

My son came home from Korea at 8.5 months, after living with his foster Mom from the time he was 10 days old--roughly the age children would be if made available for IA at 5 months.

His foster family was WONDERFUL and clearly adored him. He was crawling, standing and eating solid food when we went to pick him up. The specialist I took him to was very impressed--he was developmentally ahead of most IA kids he sees in his clinic.

Eun Joon adjusted rapidly and bonded with us within a month. While it wasn't painless (because of his very strong bond with fmom, he was mad at me at first, preferring to go by Daddy, who is Korean-American), it was very much within the realm of normal attachment.

Because of the excellent foster care most of these children receive (Eun Joon was the 3rd child this Mom had fostered) and the bonds they create with their foster families, I wouldn't have too many concerns about an increase in attachment issues. If the children were in orphanages, one might expect to see a delay, but even at 8-9 months (younger than most children are if adopted from China) the chances of extreme AD are slight.

HTH,
Tracy

[Joyful1]

My son came home at almost 10 months in October of last year. He was with a WONDERFUL foster family from the time he was 2 months old. As another reply said - it wasn't painless - Ellis cried a lot and prefered my husband over me (he looked more familiar since he has black hair too). But Ellis adjusted VERY quickly and is doing GREAT. When we adopt our daughter, I hope she is able to come home at about the same age. It may be a longer wait to get through the process after January, but I don't worry about the age or health or the babies. We waited a long time for children also and Ellis is our angel. We know our daughter will find us too!!

[tinkerbell11599]

My story is a little different. Our son came home to us last year at nearly 11 months in mid April after being with a wonderful foster family from shortly after his birth. He bonded with my husband right away but with me he took much longer. I am a SAHM and have been since his arrival. But even though I was taking care of him constantly and taking naps with him, being the only one to feed him, being the only one to change his diapers, keeping a set schedule for him, and much more. It wasn't until he got a case of the chicken pox from the vaccine that he had in late June that he finally bonded with me.

Our agency said that the bond with the foster mother had to be broken first before the bond with me could happen. It just took some time with him but in the meantime seeing Ryan prefer my husband hurt me but I could understand it from Ryan's point of view.

With our daughter's arrival this year, she was about 8 months old and was hospitalized for nearly 2 months for various things. We had little problem with her bonding with me. Like our son, she bonded with my husband right away but took a little longer with me but not as long as her brother did.

To this day, she still prefers daddy and is very much Daddy's girl and Daddy is the only one who really can comfort her. Ryan is Mommy's boy and when he needs to be comforted, I'm the one he runs to and asks for.

Both kids were with the same foster family. So we are doubly blessed because of this. They were well taken care of.

If you do encounter bonding issues, talk with your social worker. They might be able to provide some insight and help you out. What ours told us was that sometimes it just takes until they get sick and you're the one who's there to comfort them constantly. Then they have little choice but to bond with you.

Jen