[mmcool]

When you know that you will be changing your child's name, how is that transition done? I remember when my brother adopted a girl from India a few years back, the foster family started using the name that my brother and his wife were going to name her. It worked out well since she knew her name when they went to India.

So would this be something that I could let the foster mom know? How would I go about doing that? Or would we just start working on the name transition when she comes to the US?

Oh, and here's a couple updated photos of Micaela (taken a couple of weeks ago when she turned seven months).

[Zachary'sMommy]

Melissa,

When Zachary came home, we tried calling him by his Korean name. We even had one of my husband's coworkers (a native Korean) tell us how to pronounce it, but we must not have had the right "tone" to his name, because he never seemed to recognize it, and he was almost 13 months old.

So, we ended up switching right to "Zachary" and he was recognizing it as his name within a day or two.

Micaela is beautiful- congrats on getting an update!

[momfirst]

We have not gotten our referral yet, but we did prepare a box and letter to send to the foster family when we do. In the letter I told them we were naming her Emma so that they could begin to call her that...if they do not, then we will have to get her used to it here. Mandy

[tinkerbell11599]

We didn't tell the foster family what the name of our son and daughter would be beforehand. The same foster family that took care of our son took care of our daughter as well. When our daughter arrived, in the diaper bag, there was a gift for me from the foster mom of 3 beautiful barrettes since she saw me in pictures that we sent over there with my hair up at times as well as a gift for our son of a Taekwondo outfit which he'll have to grow into.

Even though they got the updates as to how he's doing since his arrival last year and in it we what name we picked for him, written on the gift bag for him is his Korean name not his westernize name. I think that forever in their hearts he'll be known by that name along with our daughter. That's the only name that they have known them by.

Jen

[adoptkoreablog]

We just started calling our son by his new name when he came. We tried to call him his Korean name too, but he didn't recognize that one either. He began recognizing his name around nine months. I think when they are young enough, you don't have to worry as much about the confusion. For older children, there is definitely a transition period where you might want to use both names at the same time so that they hear them together.

Mo

[Max'smom]

Hi,
I believe that the practice on the Korean agency side is pretty set: they want the children called by their Korean names. In our case, we had no contact with the foster family at all until we first met our son, as we were told that even minor packages are not welcomed. I am pretty sure that our son's foster mother would never have started calling him another name.
However, most of the children come over pre-verbal. If you look at the baby books, babies don't start responding to their name for many months.

[sarajean]

Our son was 5.5 months old when he came home and he definitely knew his Korean name and would respond to it...our agency director taught us how to say it correctly. We didn't start calling him by his American name until he arrived, and we still use both his Korean name (as sort of a nick name) and his American name...he responds to both, and always smiles a little when we use his Korean name.

I think Harrison knew his American name within a week or two of being home.

[ahfdragonfly]

CJ would respond to CJ or Cady within a couple weeks of being home. I only used her Korean name a few times, when she really seemed lost. (I just asked her if she remembered Mee So & she shook her head No )

[mmcool]

Thank you for your responses; that helps a lot. Yes, it does make sense that the foster mom would want to use her given name because it is who she is.

We'll just have to get her used to Micaela when she comes. DH is hard of hearing, which affects his speech (English can be tricky for him sometimes). If some of you have had problems with tonality throwing your children off when you try to say your child's Korean name, I'm afraid he would have a very frustrating time of it.

If the Nov/Dec timetable we were given is when she travels, she will be about 14 months old. It should work out OK.

Melissa

[waiting4xander]

I just wanted to share that our amazing little boy came home just a month ago. For us, although we had referred to him by his new name for months, it didn't feel right calling him by that name the first couple of days. We chose to call him his Korean name, Chan Hee. It didn't seem to help him much, but it just felt like the right thing to do for us. By the third or fourth day, he had come to really interact and seem to accept us more and more. Then we tried using his new name. At the three week mark of being home, we were thrilled when we noticed that he clearly recognized and responded to his new name. Wow! They are so amazing and resilient

[JackHenryEmma]

We did not ask the foster family to call Emma by her American name. I thought it may be a bit offensive for them. We are using Emma's Korean name as her middle name. For the first couple of weeks we called her Emma Soo Min. It seemed to work.


Julie

[nancyinoh]

Remember that in Korea, they add the syllable "ah" to the end of the Korean name to make it "babyish" or endearing.

eg. Our son is Ji Myung, but he was called Ji Myung-ah while he was in Korea.

He was 7 months when we came home, and he clearly responded to his Korean name. But, he soon learned his American name as well. We still call him both, and he responds to both.

Our older son was only 5 months when he came home. We went right to his American name, because he didn't seem to respond to his Korean name.

I think that the way the Korean foster family would pronounce the American name wouldn't be the same as when we pronounce it, anyway.

[ahfdragonfly]

Melissa, are you planning using sign language with Micaela? Both of my parents are deaf, so CJ has no choice but to learn ASL signs. It has deffinately helped with her frustration in the language transition. She learned several very quickly, and after about her first birthday, has learned new signs rapidly. If Micaela is going to be a little older at homecomming, it may help with the transition.

[mmcool]

Sign language is definitely part of the plan. While my DH is very verbal, when he takes off his hearing aids (i.e. when we go swimming, after a shower) he really relies on my ability to sign -- lipreading without sound only works so well for him. We want our daughter to be able to communicate with him at all times.

And I had thought of the other benefit that she will be able to sign more quickly than she will be able to talk. A few weeks ago, I met a couple whose daughter was from China (they had traveled in March), and she was able to convey quite a lot through sign language. I was impressed with all that she had learned in just a month.