[SABTeacher]

Hi ladies,

Just researching agencies and deciding on a country to adopt from. I am very interested in Korea. I spoke with a local agency rep, who was trying to give me the pluses and minuses of Korea vs China. She mentioned that one down side of Korea is that you cannot really make any requests regarding the child.

I knew you couldn't request a specific gender, and that's fine. But, I thought I could request an age range (i.e., infant) or say that I don't want to consider a child with health problems. She said that I would have no say on health problems and may wind up with a child with health problems. Is this true?

Thanks,
Shari

[hlaclair]

Hmmm...never heard that before. I believe most agencies expect you to consider prematurity and low birth weight, but those are the only ones I've heard. And, just because you consider it, doesn't mean you have to accept a referral you're not comfortable with.

It sounds to me like the agency is trying to push you towards the China program for some reason. Perhaps they have a good reason, or perhaps it's simply because they need more families in the China program.

[teachamy]

This advice seems suspect to me. You can certainly request an infant,(often these babies are younger than those in China). Korea has a very advanced health care system, and the agency we work with lists most medical issues (even transient ones and prematurity) as waiting children. The children receive monthly check-ups, and are often put into hospital care for issues as minor as respiratory infections. Otherwise, you should expect to receive the referral of a healthy child. I agree that it seems this agency wants you to choose China, for some reason.

Good luck!

[ahfdragonfly]

I agree with the other 2 posters. You can specify a child under 1 year, you can list any special needs you may be willing to work with, & you can always decline a referral, for any reason.I'm not sure why this person is pushing you toward China, but I, too, would be suspicious if they are trying to push you one way, without giving you all the correct information.

Millie

[dcookie]

Certainly, with our agency we were very clear we wanted a young healthy baby with as few medical issues as possible. We were not allowed to choose the sex, but would be allowed for a second child.

Sounds weird. Some reps/social workers are very pushy. If you don't like one person's vibe, ask to work with somebody else or work with another agency. Not a great way to start a relationship, is it?

[cthy757]

Whoa! We NEVER encountered that...With our agency, we filled out a medical checklist that listed the medical conditions that we were open to. You could check "yes", "no", or "maybe"...I would be scared to go with that agency if you were told you had no say so. Do you have any other choices for agencies in your state?

Cathy

[tinkerbell11599]

We were told by our agency that the Korean program's kids were infants. There was no waiting list at the time with them when we started and got our referral. We didn't request a particular sex although in the homestudy I did say that I would love to have a son first. I was the oldest in my family and wished that I had a big brother to look out for me.

As far as medical/developmental problems were concerned, we could say what we were willing to accept and what we weren't comfortable with. Just because we got a referral didn't mean that we HAD to accept that referral. With us, we told them that we were comfortable with little to no medical problems and the same for developmental. That's exactly what we got when we received Ryan's referral!!!

Jen

[SABTeacher]

Thanks so much for the information, ladies. I had that hunch as well. I will avoid that agency.

Just curious, if you do not accept a referral, how long does it take to get another one? Do you move to the bottom of the list?

Thanks,
Shari

[abcolo]

At our agency you would stay at the same place on the list. You may be number four or five when you get your referral, depending on what you are open to. If you cannot accept the referral, you would continue to be wherever you were on the list.


Andrea

[sak9645]

Actually, the agency rep has things backwards.

With Korea, you can request an age range and ask for either a healthy child or one with special needs. You may or may not be able to request gender, depending on your situation.

With China, if you want an infant, you must actually be prepared to accept any child up to age two. While you may say in your request that you'd like a child under one year of age, China goes by what children are available in the next orphanage group in the stack. You may wind up with a 6 month old or a 22 month old. And if you reject a referral because the child is too old, you may not be given another one.

With China, you may request a healthy child, although -- as with adoption from any country -- a child may have undiagnosed special needs. You may also use one of two mechanisms for requesting a child with special needs -- either applying through the normal route and requesting a particular special need, or applying through the Waiting Child program, where agencies are given lists of hard-to-place children.

With China, you may request gender. Every so often, China does refer a boy to someone who asked for a girl; there was such a "surprise" referral in our group. However, if you are referred a boy and requested a girl, you MAY refuse the referral without prejudice. If you request a boy, it would be best if you state that you will accept a girl if a boy isn't available, since far fewer boys than girls are available at any given time.

Sharon

[teachamy]

It is my understanding if you reject a referral because of medical concerns or special needs, you are put to the top of the list with our agency.

Good question!