[hopeful2adopt]

Hi All,

When did most of you tell your employers that you were adopting? I am doing a little dance here because I want to be responsible to my employers yet I also contract my services so I want to continue to receive work from them until about 4-5 months before I predict the baby will be here. At that point, I will not take any more new work from them as I don't want to be unfair to my new clients. Another piece of information that would be helpful to me is, for those who already have children, how long between referral and the actual arrival of your child?

Thanks,
Sharon

[ahfdragonfly]

My old boss knew from the start, even before, really. His 2 boys are adopted from the Philipenes, & his wife is a therapist & she worked with us after the failed IVF & into the start of the adoption process. We had steak at their house, while discussing international vs domestic adoption.

As to the time frames, we got our referral very early in the process. It was the first of Feb '05, our homestudy & referral acceptance went to Korea in early March, 171H was in mid April, & CJ came home June 30th. They said that the time from acceptance of referrral to Korea to homecomming is the most predictable, & usually averages 16 - 24 weeks.

Hope this helps some!
Millie

[sarajean]

Time from referral to arrival for us was roughly three months (4/21/05-7/26/05).

I worked as an assistant to two women. They both knew about our infertility woes, and when we decided to adopt I let the one I was closer to know about it. I didn't tell the other until we had our referral because I wanted to avoid the daily questioning (she had a habit of asking very intrusive and uncomfortable questions). They were both understanding and I worked for them until we got the travel call.

Hope this helps!

[jchrapcyn]

I wasn't planning to tell my boss until we got a referral (still waiting). But I found out our HR person leaked the info to my boss even though I told her it was confidential. (I had to ask the HR person for my employment letter.) I'm pretty ticked off at our HR person.

[adoptkoreablog]

As an HR professional, I would say when you tell has a lot to do with your personal situation.

Sharon - If you plan to stop taking work 4-5 months out and finish what you already have, I think you can make a decision based on your client. 4-5 months notice is more than fair in most cases. I don't know what you do, but many of our employees who are going to have biological children only give us 4-5 months of notice.

For anyone else who might be deciding, if you work for a company that has 50+ employees, you can feel secure in telling your work at any time. Adoption falls under FMLA and you are guaranteed up to 12 weeks of protected leave.

As for me, I told people fairly early in the application process. Every boss could react differently, but I wouldn't wait too long.

jchrapcyn - Sorry about your HR person. They really should have disclosed to you up front if company policy didn't allow them to keep your secret.

Mo

[teachamy]

Becaue I'm a teacher, the situation is a little different for me, but my boss knew almost from the start because our homestudy required her to write a letter of reference for me. When we got matched, I let her see his adorable picture and let her know when he should come home. The big issue for me is--will I suddenly get the call in May or June before school is out for the summer? If so, they'll need a sub. So the letter I wrote to the Superintendent was a "kinda-sorta-maybe" letter in which I said IF he comes home in 3-4 months, I'll see ya again in September! I'm lucky that my bosses are really supportive.

[Suz1976]

Sharon,

I work for a company with 3,500 employees and my boss is the president. I told him right away and when we received our referral he told me he and his wife will babysit for us! So, I guess I'm pretty lucky!

Good luck in telling your employer. I hope they are supportive!

Suzanne