[ndoscoptec]

Shrenkens previuuos post made me think of starting this. I think this might be interesting and informative for the waiting parents. Can we hear from members about rude, ignorant or even funny comments about their children?

I'll start with one from this past weekend. We were at a childs birthday party. A friend had given my nearly two year old his cel phone to play with. He had it up to his ear and an older (maybe 6 or 7) boy said loudly. What's he doing calling the Chinese Restaurant? I was speachless (for once) and decided to point out it would be a Korean restaurant and left it at that.
MLH

[nancyinoh]

I'm sure that one everyone gets if they have adopted more than one child is, "Are they brothers?" I don't understand why everyone is so interested in a possible biological connection between my sons!! Who cares? I usually respond, "They are now".

No one asks me if our two bio daughters have the same father. But with the questions people ask, I wouldn't be surprised.

[ahfdragonfly]

I've had several, seemingly intelegent people, ask if she would need to take special english classes when she got older. I didn't know American Bio-children came out speaking perfect english? One sis-in-law even told me that I would have to talk to her so she could learn english. Maybe some people don't talk to their kids?

Millile

[Shrken7]

The day I got my travel call at work we all went out to lunch to celebrate. A special education teacher in my building that has been teaching for at least 25 years said to me and I quote "You better stock up on fish and rice, hahahaha." I didn't know that 6 month old babies in any country were in the habit of eating adult food and I personally LOVE rice and I think that fish is a big dish in the northeast so I wonder why she thinks that only Korean people eat fish and rice. She must be a very limited person...how sad!

[uradvl]

Here's another good one....

I had a piece of furniture delivered with the wrong hardware. So a few weeks later a repairman came to fix it. Both my husband, myself and my son were home at the time. The man began to do the repair, and then turned around to look at all three of us and said "What happened?" I was in shock caught totally off guard. He then looked at my husband and said "You not chinese!!" Keep in mind this guy was asian. So we took the time to explain about the adoption, and he was totally amazed. It was as if he had no idea what adoption was. I guess I was initially annoyed, but he was just ignorant...as most people with these comments are.

[hlaclair]

""What happened?" I was in shock caught totally off guard. He then looked at my husband and said "You not chinese!!""

Don't you just want to look at people like that and say "Yeah, the darn sperm bank really screwed up!".

Or maybe that's just my sarcastic sense of humor coming out...

[ahfdragonfly]

Love the reply about the sperm bank!!!

My mother (who is 70), told me that Koreans love to sew, so she would be glad to teach my daughter how to. & that she would always love silky & satiny fabrics. (Who dosen't?) I really have no idea what planet my mother came from, but sometimes, I really do wish that I was adopted, so that I can hope for biology to make me somewhat normal. Otherwish I have both biology & environment working against me!

Oh well!
Millie

[caseymunn]

My Dad and step-mom came over for dinner last night and my Dad said, "Will she be ugly?" I assured him that she probably would be since most Korean children have two heads and three arms. What the heck????? Will she be ugly? He's such a dingbat. I got out the "When I Was Born in Korea" book and showed him all the pictures of the beautiful children and he was just taken with them. I know that once he sees her he'll be completely in love. He's just being a goofball. He told me that he was sure they would be best buddies. I hope so. He's also made a few "slant eyes" comments in the past. I told him last night if he made ONE more inappropriate comment about our daughter I would disown him - and I will. This is my DAD! Grrrrr! He has such a sadistic sense of humor.

[hlaclair]

My grandma made a few comments about "slant eyes" when we were starting the process for Brett. She didn't mean it in a negative way, but it's offensive none the less. I explained to her that Asians eyes are no more slanted than anyone elses. They just seem to look different because there is no eyelid crease.

I wasn't sure she was listening but I heard later that she gave someone else the same lecture I gave her

[uradvl]

I think the comments that hurt the most are the ones about how "wonderful" we are for "saving" this child's life!! I know people don't mean any harm...but they just don't understand.

I just was at the store when the sales lady said this to me I never know how to respond except to say that its the other way around, he saved my life. They usually don't know what to say to that response. But then I feel foolish for letting the comment get to me. And it always does!!!

[sarajean]

Oh, I hate that one! And you're so right, my son saved my life, too. I truly feel that we are the lucky ones to get to be his parents.

I hate it when people say he'll be smart b/c he's of Asian descent. I mean, we hope he'll be smart, but if he's not an "A" student we'll love him the same as if he's a genius. Some people miss the whole point!

[mattmiamom]

When my son (who is korean) was in 1st grade his teacher told me the other children were teasing him on the playground. Appartently they were "slanting" their eyes and chanting "chinese eyes". When the teacher asked my son if this bothered him he replied "No I'm not chinese". and went on his way.

Recently a woman at the food market whispered loud enough for my daughter (5 years old and Korean) to hear "where is she from". My daughter said very loudly "I'm from (our hometown) of course". My daughter was very puzzled as to why this women was interested in where she was from. I just told her that it was because she was so beautiful and that seem to satisfy her.

Just my two cents.

Susan

[Shrken7]

Okay one more:

Do you have any children of your own?

No clearly I'm only renting this one! I have to return him in a week.... !