[Sohmakun]

I'm trying to help a friend adopt internationally after her horrible experience adopting her son from the foster care system

She has her heart set on a girl and she will consider mild or moderate special needs (like Hepititis B and C, clubbed feet, cleft lip and palate, missing limbs etc.). I thought Ethiopia and Vietnam would be a good choice for her but many agencies are not accepting applications from singles and she doesn't like how the adoption is finalized before you meet your child. Vietnam is obviously out too because its closed tight.

Anyways, to make a long story short, does Kazakhstan have special rules about specifying gender?

[sak9645]

Most rules on gender preference are agency specific, not country specific.

American agencies are increasingly prohibiting gender selection, at least for first time parents, because there is such a terrible disparity in terms of the number of Americans wanting to adopt girls and the number of Americans wanting to adopt boys.

Americans overwhelmingly want to adopt girls. In the absence of rules limiting gender selection, two things happen, even if a country has an equal number of males and females available for adoption:

1. Long waiting lists develop for girls. This worries agencies, which don't like to see families frustrated by delays and uncertainties. They don't want to accept applications from families, if they do not have a reasonable expectation of being able to make a match in a year or so. They don't want a situation like the one in China, where the wait for a healthy infant girl can be three or more years from the time the dossier goes overseas.

2. More importantly, boys stay in care much longer. It isn't good for their development, and further, the older they get, the less adoptable they become. School aged boys are about the hardest children to place for adoption.

So the best thing your friend can do is to start contacting agencies. She really needs to ask four questions:

1. Does the agency have any rules regarding gender selection?

2. If so, does the agency apply those rules in cases where a person already has a child of one gender and wants a child of the opposite gender?

3. If the agency has gender preference rules, does it apply those rules in situations involving adoption of children with special needs?

4. If there are no rules on gender selection, how long will it take to get a girl referral?

However, make sure that the agency that your friend chooses is not "just" chosen because of a lack of gender selection rules. Kazakhstan is not necessarily the easiest country from which to adopt, and working with an agency that is highly experienced and highly ethical is critical. At least in the past, some agencies have had difficulty getting singles accepted by the country, so that issue should be explored, as well. Your friend needs to be certain that the agency has worked successfully with single women in Kazakhstan.

Sharon



Sharon

[hml1976]

Kazakhstan varies a little from Sharon's post because there are very few agencies still working on the referral system and even those that do don't allow gender preference any longer. In most cases though you would travel and select a child in country so if there is a girl available in your friend's age preference range she could chose to adopt her. It isn't a sure thing though.

[hopedfor]

We are in process for a second Kaz adoption. The gender rule is not agency specific. The ministry is not accepting dossiers that specify a preference for a gender as of summer. There is really nothing an agency can do to guarantee a girl - run like the wind if one does, that would scare me!