[Nursie222]

I just wanted to ask if anyone had some info on the blind program. Do you get put in a room with 10 children and they say pick one? Or do you choose from pictures when you get there? Thanks

[julfre1]

I haven't been there yet, but I have read alot of blogs because this part of the process scares me. It seems to vary from baby house to baby house, but the general process seems to follow the following pattern:
You go meet the officials and then they bring in a child, you may hold the child and interact with them for a few minutes. Some ask if you would like to see another child, some just automatically take the first back to their room and bring another.

Most blogs families seem to meet 3-4 kids. Usually one at a time for a few minutes. Typically the first child or two has medical issues that make them harder to find a family for. It does seem like in many cases, there is one child that they think you will end up adopting before you even meet the children. They are required by law to show you multiple children and they will bring out the SN kids just to give them the most chances at being picked. Some times, none of the children meet the families requests(age/sex etc) until the final child.

[sak9645]

I have not adopted from Kaz, but my understanding is that the referral is blind to YOU, but not to the authorities. A particular child has usually been identified as a good "fit" for your family, based on your request, but you may be shown a couple of other children as well, just to fulfill legal requirements. Those other children may or may not be of the age, gender, or health status you requested.

It is very rare to be allowed to choose your child by walking around an orphanage in some country and, frankly, it's a terrible way to do things. Some of the children who will be most "right" for your family may make a terrible impression because they are sick, shy/scared, sleepy, having a bad hair day, possessed of a black eye from a fall, etc. And some of the children who seem the "cutest" and most affectionate may have problems that you will miss, such as attachment disorders.

As to looking at pictures, you can't shop for a child the way you shop for a new sofa. Most pictures of institutionalized children are pretty bad, and give few clues as to what the kids are really like. Even when you get a formal referral, in some countries, you can't really use the picture as a guide to whether the child is right for you. You may be able to use the photo to rule out some obvious things, such as severe FAS, but that's about all.

My first referral from China looked like she had three ears -- until you figured out that what you were seeing was the thumb of an orphanage worker who was propping the child up by placing her hand behind the girl's head.

When that referral was withdrawn because the child was adopted domestically, I received a referral picture of a crying child as a second referral. When I got to China, my daughter looked NOTHING like the picture. The ear shape was wrong, the eyes were wrong, the coloring was wrong, etc. The medical was right, except for the weight and head circumference -- which were almost always wrong in those days; the medical even had the number of teeth right.

It was very clear that when the China Center for Adoption Affairs rushed through a second referral so I could travel with my group, it did not yet have a photo and some worker just grabbed one from the files. Every Chinese person I know has seen the referral picture plus a "real" photo taken at around the same time, and is 100% sure that the referral picture is not my daughter.

But, guess what! The child in my home is absolutely the child I was meant to have! The matching by the Chinese authorities was amazingly perfect in every way.

If the Kaz authorities are even half as good as the Chinese authorities about picking families for children, they probably have a very fine child picked out for you. They just haven't told you so. So look at the children, and be tuned into signals that will let you know which child is the "real" referral. But, just to be on the safe side, talk to your agency about what you should do if NO child who is presented fits the general age/gender/health status profile you have requested.

Sharon

[Nursie222]

Thank you so much for all of the informaiton both of you provided. Choosing a country is hard (I'm still between Russia and Kaz) so I couldn't imgaine picking a child because like you said its not shopping for a sofa.
thanks so much,
Tanya

[auntuptonow]

I agree with the first post-- the process appears to vary by babyhouse (or possibly region). I adopted from Karaganda last year, and this is how it went for me:

I was in the babyhouse music room with 2 other adoptive families. One family was adopting sibilings, and that brother and sister were brought in first. Then they started a mini-parade of kids for me and the other couple to meet. First, they brought in two 4 year old boys, then two three year old girls, and finally 4 or 5 infants, ages 8 to 13 months. Some kids were handed directly to me, others were held by the caregivers until/unless I asked to see them.. On the plus side, I saw a lot of kids. The down side was I didn't really spend a lot of time with most of them. If I couldn't immediately say I was interested in a child, he/she was whisked away very quickly.. A couple of infants were taken away quickly because they were crying and if I wasn't going to adopt them, they wanted them back in their room.. I don't think my choice would have been different in the end, but there was one girl who I dismissed quickly because of her almost catatonic behavior-- but someone else in my group adopted her and once given more than 30 seconds of a chance to warm up to someone, she blossomed into a bright and beautiful little girl.. So take as much time as you can.. It is such an important decision, I have never figured out why there is such a push to make it quickly.
Good luck with finding your child..

[mlb]

We also adoption from Karaganda (twice). When we adopted in May of 2006 three children were brought in at ten minute intervals (without taking any out of the room). We took turns holding the children, listened to their medical information and asked to see our son in the next visit. We could have visited with the other children, but continued to visit with our son until we offocially selected him two days later. Of the three children we saw, one was a girl (obvious medical issues) and two were healthy boys.

[hopedfor]

I would agree with sak, our understanding from both the coordinator over there, and our agency is that it is not truly blind. The ministry/orphanage director has identified.

We almost threw them for a loop by highly considering the other baby they brought in. There were only 2, and our agency told us that they weren't sure hwo many, but likely a couple.

Very scary, very worth it.

[mlb]

I would have agreed with you to a degree two years ago regarding matching children unofficially with couples. We adopted a son in 2000 and a year later a local couple (unbeknownst to us) adopted his biological sister. They live 20 minutes away from us. However, we were able to pick from the whole orphanage at that time what were the chances? We adopted again in 2007and we were did not feel pressured to choose a particular child, and were shown more than one healthy baby. It would not suprise me if children were kept for certain agencies though, as we did not see children that other couples did the next week, and we were looking at the same age range. They certainly would explain my son's sister living locally as we used the same agency.