[Mom2Colin]

I’m posting this question but hoping not to get flamed. (I also posted on the Russia board as it pertains there as well...)

I’ve been researching IA in various countries around the world. I continued to read about the need for families to adopt children from Russia and the various former Soviet republics (Kaz, Kyryg, included), orphanages with older children waiting, etc. But my question is how do families complete these ridiculously long stays on country? 2, 3 ….. 7 weeks in country… multiple trips. If both spouses work full time and there are other children involved, how on earth can these long trips be accomplished? I’m not asking from an “oh it’s all worth it in the end” frame of mind. I’m asking from a logistical standpoint. I’m already an AP – I know it’s “worth it”

Again, not trying to flame and not wanting to be flamed. I’m honestly asking in order to get better perspective.

Thanks in advance !
KM

[KaronD]

This is actualy a great question and one that should be weighed when choosing a country. We adopted our first child from Kazkahstan and ended up spending 2 months there. I am a teacher and it worked perfectly because I had enough saved sick leave to take those two months off and I then had the summer to bond with my son before the next school year. It was much harder on my husband who had to pull a lot of stings to get off and ended up finding a sub for his job (a wilderness ranger) and took leave with out pay. We are now adoptiong again and we chose Bulgaria because we do not feel comfortable leaving our son at home or taking our 2 year old with us for that long. WIth BG we go for two seperate 5 day trips.

[mlb]

No reason to flame you here. Adoption from Kaz is not for the faint of heart or for those who cannot take time off. I am a teacher so when we adopted our oldest son in the summer of 2000, I didn't have to take time other than my regular maternity leave. My husband worked for Gateway and although he was supposed to take 1/2 of the trip unpaid, they did not charge him a day and he got a paycheck for the whole trip (unexpected and so welcome). They also gave us a $5000 credit. We had saved money to cover the time, and were gone for 42 days.
For our youngest son (May 2007) my husband and I saved our sick/personal days and were paid for all 18 work days (25 days total). We took our 5 year old with us and my father as well. I didn't feel comfortable leaving Zach at home for an extended period of time and we adopted from that baby home so I felt strongly that he should be able to go back and see his first home and former caregivers. My father was there to watch Zach for the times that he did not come to the baby home and for the ministry and court appointment (they wound up requesting that Zach come to both appointments when they learned that he was adopted from Kaz). It was a great experience for Zach to see his birthcountry and for him to bond with Alex on "neutral territory" before coming home.

[auntuptonow]

I work for a lawyer, in a small firm.. I discussed the travel times with him before settling on Kaz, and I was lucky enough to work for someone who said "take whatever time you need, we'll work it out".. I was gone for 4 weeks on the first trip, then came back to work for 2 weeks and finally returned to Kaz for one week to pick up my daughter. I did use my vacation time as part of the trip-- I didn't take any days in 2007 prior to traveling, and I only took 1 week's vacation this year.. The only downside was after we returned home-- I would have like to stay home for much longer than I could.. But even good will has its limits! The people who I traveled with were doctors, nurses, business people, and teachers, and all had something different worked out based on who they worked for..

[hml1976]

Not a bad question at all. I think you'll find that a lot of people who adopt from Kaz are either self-employed or work in very flexible jobs. My husband was telecommuting from our home when we adopted (both times) from Kaz, so he just worked from Kaz instead, even did some conference calls. We traveled with a professor, doctor, professional athlete and a self employed builder during our trips all were pretty flexible jobs.We did leave our then almost 3yr old with my parents for our second adoption, it was hard but harder on us than her and she no longer remembers it.

[julfre1]

Not all people who adopt from Kaz have typical flexible schedules. I am a project manager so time away from work will be very difficult as my projects will not end. There is no "off season" for me- all times of the year are the same. I talked to my workplace when I first started and told them what I would be doing and how long I would be gone. I have not traveled yet, but they have not made any plans to have someone fill in while I'm gone.

So basically, I will try to set things up as best as possible, take my first trip, come back to a mess, about the time I get it cleaned up, travel again, and repeat the clean up when I get back. It won't be pretty, I only get vacation time so I will be off for about a month unpaid(ouch), but this is where I am placing my priority in my life. If it hurts my career too much when I get back, in a year or so, I will change jobs. Hopefully, it won't hurt too much long term. The way many people do it is just to decide this is the priority and be realistic about the possible consequences and then decide if it is something you can do.

[AdptnAChld]

In all honestly we are still trying to figure out how we are going to deal with the travel time. We own our company and we both work in the management aspect of the corporation. I handle all the accounting and payroll for our employees. Bob meets with customers and manages the employees. We also have a small farm, rental property and pets to consider.

How is it going to work being away for 4 - 8 weeks. Don't know yet but we'll figure it out.

[Mom2Colin]

Thanks to everyone who has posted their personal experience. It definitely shreds some light. My personal story, while not necessarily relevant, is that I work in a case manager capacity within a state agency. Getting a month or more off, even if the weeks aren’t in a row, is nearly impossible. (Clients’ lives don’t stop because mine has to.) My husband, an attorney in a small firm, can’t take that kind of time off. (If the firm doesn’t bring in clients, he has no income.) We have a limited extended family, none of which are able to care for our young son for an extended period of time– either due to their own family situations or health reasons. It’s not about “making a choice to make it happen.” It’s a logistical impossibility at this point.

I can’t help but think how bizarre it is that there are children who need homes and people who have homes to provide, yet a situation of logistics is all that keeps them apart. In our case, we’re interested in older child adoption. I’m a firm believer in a country’s sovereignty and right to legislate the adoption process. Even so, requiring lengthy in-country stays for court dates, lengthy meetings, and multiple interviews. It appears to me they are a waste of time and energy for both the families and the courts.

I can’t say what the future holds. Perhaps our situation will change or a new possibility will present itself. Thank you for allowing me to ask questions and perhaps, vent a little. I’ll continue to ask questions and research all of the possibilities. In time, I’m hopeful a child who needs a home will find our family with one to provide.

Thanks
km

[hml1976]

If you're interested in adopting an older child have you looked at Bulgaria? I've heard for preschool age or above its a great program and short travel.

Good luck!