[maverick3926]

So we have sent in our dossier! YAY!
But we are wondering if we could do a baby shower? And if so, can we do it before we travel so that our friends and family can help us prepare, or would it be better to wait till we get back?
Thanks for any help with this.

[hgbrn]

Hi, I don't yet know from experience but this is what we plan on doing. Between the two trips we are having our 2 family showers and once we return we will have a get together with our friends. I wondered if it would be too much for the baby to be at the party, but I think it'll be ok. Congratulations on sending in your Dossier!

[mschaefer]

I can't speak from personal experience, but I have been to friends and relatives showers who have chosen to do it before trip #1, between trip #1-2 and after returning home with their child.

Those who chose to have the shower before trip one all were adoption a child with a referral so it help to know the age of the child and type of things the family would need.

Those who did it between trips (obviously adopted from countries requiring more than one trip), did so because they had no referral before travelling or because they didn't want to "jinx" anything or they weren't sure when the child would be ready to be around a large crowd and wanted family to feel part of the process.

The last group (those that had a shower when they got back) were split -- one was very fearful something but go wrong and didn't want a shower until everyhthing was finalized and the other lived further away from family and didn't want them to have to travel twice. The latter did register before travelling and some family and friends helped get the basic nursery things together, but had a formal shower upon their return.

I think whatever makes sense to you and your family/friends is fine -- each has it's own pros and cons. Congrats on sending out your dossier

[maverick3926]

Thanks for the advice!

Tony and I are planning on taking one long trip so we wouldnt be able to have the party inbetween.

I guess what we are thinking about doing is having one after we get back because we have asked for a child between 6 and 24 months. Since that is such a large age difference and we are travelling blind, we wouldnt want to be prepared with the wrong stuff! That would not be being prepared at all!
I believe we will register before so that my girlfriends can plan the party while we are gone, but we will have to be able to edit the registry while we are overseas (or be able to have our friend Beth edit it) to fit the age of our daughter.

Thank you fo rthe advice. This is such a new experience!

[mlb]

Maegan - We had our shower after we got home with our son and it was great. Halfway throught the shower (90 people strong, big family) my husband showed up with Zach and that way everyone got to see him, and he toddled around the room charming our families while I opened presents. Good luck!

[momo tx]

We had showers both before and after. Before we had a referral we were given two showers; we didn't know gender or age (we had requested up to 18 months old). This was our first baby, so we didn't have any baby stuff at all. So we actually received things we really needed to get ready for our child (high chair, crib sheets, blankets, stroller, bottles, bibs, some toys, diaper genie, child-proofing kit for home, bowls, spoons, etc.). We ended up traveling in January when we found out about our son, and another group threw us a shower immediately before so we had clothes for him during our visits and when we were in Kaz and a few more that he could grow into. About 7 weeks after coming home another group threw us a shower and gave us lots of clothes for now and that he can grow into since we know how much he weighs, etc.

[jaenelle]

We adopted domestically, so I'm not sure how helpful this is going to be, but we waited until we were home with our baby before even planning for a shower. That is the way I wanted it, because I really wanted to wait until we were home with our baby, because I didn't want to chance having the shower and having the adoption fall through or something, having to return all the gifts, tell everyone what had happened. I'd have actually preferred to wait until the adoption was finalized, probably, but that would have been FOREVER, so we didn't do that. I'm a very cautious and superstitious person, though, and lots of people have told me I'm weird for having waited.

(Another reason why we waited -- we were not matched with our daughter's birthmom -- we got the call after our daughter was already born and only had a day to prepare for her!

[sak9645]

I like baby showers about 2 weeks to a month after homecoming.

By then, you and your child should be over jet lag and the minor illnesses that are typical of adoption travel. You should have "cocooned" enough the first two weeks that your child is feeling a little more secure with his/her new Mom/Dad and in his/her new surroundings. (I really do believe in at least two weeks of cocoon time.) And you should be able to gauge whether your child is a party animal or will freak out at a baby shower.

Assuming that you and your child are ready to party, your friends and relatives will enjoy having a baby shower at that point. They will love meeting your baby, and they will have a good idea of what sorts of gifts will be appreciated, because you have quietly told your family and friends about sizes and interests.

If your child is very shy, you may introduce him/her briefly and have your spouse, Grandma, etc. take him/her out of the gathering at that point. But if he/she is a party animal, he/she can enjoy ripping off wrapping paper, playing with bows, playing with new toys, and getting lots of attention from one and all.

When I got home from China with my daughter, I was really glad that I'd told everyone that we were NOT visiting or doing baby showers for at least two weeks. For one thing, we spent about four days being very seriously jet lagged and off schedule. For another, it took about a week for me to get over my bronchitis, ear infection, and sinus infection. Becca got over most of her "bugs" in one week, but needed a second week of antibiotics for her sinus infection. We also needed time to shop for clothing, as Becca turned out to be much smaller than her paperwork indicated (17 lb. at 18 mo.).

When we finally were ready for prime time, Becca turned out to be a total party animal. Although she constantly monitored to make sure I wasn't out of sight, she worked the crowds like a pro at baby showers and family parties. She let little old ladies feed her yogurt, opened presents gleefully, and was obviously excited by all the new toys, books, and clothes she was given. She was a real charmer, and her presence made the baby showers much more fun for the guests.

Sharon

[flowerchildA]

We are having a baby shower this weekend! We are hoping to leave for Kaz in 3-6 weeks but don't have an exact date -it could be longer. I wanted to have everthing ready before we go and not worry about having what we need, washing and putting things away, bring things back to the store if needed. Our family gave us a choice and we said we'd like it before we go. I'm so excited to get all our baby stuff!!! This is our fist so we need everything, we registered for over 80 things!! Have fun whatever you decide!