[Me:-)]

I have my dossier done, and now I'm in the 'waiting' stage. My question is this . . . how do you select a child? If you travel blind, do you get to select any child there? Are you allowed to see them all? My agency uses a 'referral' system, but I was wondering if, for whatever reason, I could I see other children once I'm at the orphanage. I've very confused on how this is done . . . it seems so odd to me, like picking a puppy in the pet store. We adopted before in Russia, but it was very clear that the referral given to us was to be our child (thank goodness!) and that there were no other options.

Clarification would be wonderful!

Thanks!!

Leslie

[jtsmommy]

Our experience:
We traveled "blind" to Astana 2 yrs ago, we went to the directors office & she told about a baby boy who was 10 1/2 months old, etc etc & asked if we would like to see him. We got to hold him & spend about 30 min visiting him, that baby is now our 3 yr old son. I have heard of other families being shown 2-3 babies at the same time & honestly, I'm so glad that didn't happen to us,it would be so heart wrenching. Hope this helps a little.
Ann

[dlbmcgill]

We adopted form Astana this summer and traveled blind. We had originally requested 2 kids so we had a very wide age range we were willing to take. After a perfunctory introduction in the directors office, she and the caseworker from DOE flipped through their list of available children. (In case you don't know, the majority of kids in the orphanges are not available for adoption.) We saw 4 (or 5?) kids ranging in age from 7 months to 3.5 years. It was a stressful experience, but, as people say about labor, once you've got your child you forget all about the pain.

[Haymamma]

Did they bring the 4 or 5 kids in one at a time? Do you "turn down" one to see the next one? We should be in Astana in a few weeks and have been wondering about this as well.

[JuleQuin]

We adopted once using a referral, the second time travel blind. I think if we do this again, we'd do the latter.

We were shown babies one at a time, so it's not like they bring them all in at once. I totally thought it would be that way too, but it wasn't (thankfully, that would be too harrd).

I think alot of agencies offer both referrals and blind, but I'm not sure. I know we talked a lot about it with our agency to decide.

Good luck!

Julia
Mom to 2

[dlbmcgill]

No, they didn't bring them all in at once. They describe a child and ask if you want to see him. If you say yes, then they bring in the child. Each child we saw had some health issues (minor for some kids and not so minor for others) and in the moment it was very difficult for us to know what to do. When we looked undecided they brought in another child etc. Even seeing one at a time, it can be a difficult decision. However, we would travel blind again because somehow the child you were meant to have finds you.

[JenniferKaz]

We also travelled blind to Astana. They brought in 3 children 1 at a time, although they really wanted us to pick #2 and were very reluctant to bring in a 3rd.

All had some form of health issues, our son had a hernia in his groin, which we understand is very common. We are getting it corrected next week and the Dr. does 20 - 30 a week. Aside from that he's developing well, slightly ahead in some areas like walking, talking and potty training (yeah!).

With travelling blind we didn't really feel like we had to chose, since the other 2 kids were definately more severe developmental issues. It was like a little charade they went through: "Ok here's 3 kids, but 2 are a no-go. Do you want the remaing one?" I think our coordinator, DOE and director had it decided before we got there, so it was liek a referral without offically having a referral.

We did consult with an International Adoption Dr. (Dr Gail Farber in Phila. who was awesome before, during and after) before leaving the US for signs to look for, and we were happy with the child we selected. For such a momentous decision, it was quite uneventful.

I would have no problem travelling blind again.....travelling with my husband for that long, well that's another story :-)

[mlb]

We travelled blind to Karaganda in 2000 and had a very different (but good) experience. After we met the director, we were brought through the orphanage and the director talked about who was available and what she knew off hand about their background. We held a couple of children and went back to the director's office with names of children that we wanted to spend time with and she gave us some more medical information.
We came back the next day and fell in love with our son when they brought him into the room. It did not feel "weird" or "wrong", nor like shopping for a car (which I get asked a lot). When we saw our son during the walk through, without even talking to each other, Don and I both knew he was the one.
We are in the process again and are sad that many more people are doing it the way all of you described. We like that aspect of the adoption and for us it was a good fit.