[wendal6@rogers.]

This is my favourite message board and have read many insightful posts about Kaz and adoption. So I am turning to you as I make a huge decision
We have been trying to adopt from Kaz for 2 and a half years -our dossier was also one that was returned (after being lost in Kaz for 5 months).
It is now staledated,the Kaz consul felt it should be redone, but he is willing to resubmit it with a few changes. Our agency,Kaz facilitator, consular and other agencies feel that we will not succeed because in my homestudy and medical it states that I suffered from postpartum depression -both documents go on to state that I am fine and dealt with it in a responsible manner. However, in light of the incident of the adopted child from Russia being murdered every dossier is being carefully screened and a judge may take offense to it.
I guess my question is do I push forward, take the chance of the MFA in Kaz rejecting it. Then it is done.
If the MFA, MOE approves it and we go we may meet the child go to court only to be refused.
We already have 4 children -who have handled this difficult process exceptionally well.
We will probably not pursue this avenue again -we are 3 years older and the span between children would be much greater than originally anticipated and 10,000 dollars lighter in the pocket.
The money we have set aside for the adoption can be used to take on more foster children overseas , help with medical problems for a boy in the area and visit our current foster child in Africa.
I feel like I am unable to trust my own instincts any longer -they haven't served me well lately -am I giving up if we don't continue with the adoption - I feel so torn-I feel we are supposed to be travelling in October to bring our son home -or is that what I have convinced myself. Am i beating a dead horse and not knowing when to quit or do I pursue at the risk of causing further grief to myself, family and the child we may meet and bond with and then not succeed in court.
At this point I cannot see the forest for the trees.
Thank you for your support.
Wendy

[mari_beth]

Hi Wendy, I am so sorry to hear how badly things are going for you. I do not have any advice, but I do sympathize as we also have had many set backs as well. Can you pm with the name of your agency? I am curious, is it the same as ours? Our dossier has spent this whole year being sent back and forth from here to there, then got caught in law changes, etc. We are now looking at redoing all our paperwork as we are at the 1 year mark and things are starting to expire. What ever your decision, I wish you the best and hope you find peace with your decision.

Maribeth

[gabrielpony]

Wendy,
Our experience with the judges in Kazakhstan is that they are pretty strict and very concerned with the stability of the adopting parents. The advice from your agency is probably correct--because of the recent event with the abuse of the child from Russia, you may indeed encounter resistance from the judge.
However, if your gut instinct tells you to move forward with this and you are commited 100%, then go for it. Perhaps they will see past the report and trust the impression they get from you as a person. That is also very important.
Adoption is a very difficult, stressful process. Once in Kazakhstan, the process is even more stressful because of the language, cultural differences.
And when you return home, you have at least six months of stress and tumultuous times adjusting to one another--new child to new siblings and parents. All of your relationships will be redefined, even the one with your spouse. Even in the best of circumstances, it is a very bumpy road.
My thoughts are with you--there is a lot of good that can be done for the children of the world outside of adopting, and you have mentioned several. P
Listen to the little intuitive voice inside of your soul--it will never lead you astray. The answer to your question lies within yourself.
Like Maribeth, I wish you the best and hope you find peace with your decision.

Stacey

[wendal6@rogers.]

Stacy and Maribeth,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful answers.
Last Tuesday, we made the final decision to not go foward with the Kaz adoption.
On Thursday we learned my father has Lou Gehrig's disease with possibility of living another 12-18 months at most.
It would seem that things really do happen for a reason -my husband said I am needed else where right now.
Perhaps,China's waiting children's program would be better for us -much more predictable and the incountry stay is much more manageable.
Again, thank you for your responses. They wee much appreciated.
Wendy

[wendal6@rogers.]

Stacy and Maribeth,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful answers.
Last Tuesday, we made the final decision to not go foward with the Kaz adoption.
On Thursday we learned my father has Lou Gehrig's disease with possibility of living another 12-18 months at most.
It would seem that things really do happen for a reason -my husband said I am needed else where right now.With my father.
Perhaps,later China's waiting children's program would be better for us -much more predictable and the incountry stay is much more manageable.
Again, thank you for your responses. They wee much appreciated.
Wendy