[momof3tobe]

Hello all,
I am currently looking into adopting from Kaz and found this forum. There is SO much to learn as far as what to do, what needs to be done, money etc...not sure where to begin. I have been fascinated by the information of the forum so I decided to join in hopes of obtaining as much information as I possibly can before we start.

My husband and I sat down to look at finances the other day and there is no way we would be able to afford to adopt at this point. I am so devastated by this and constantly wonder how people are able to afford this endeavor without becoming broke. We are by no means low income, but with the costs of life and saving for our current childrens( age 4 and 12) college, just buying a new house and moving cross country from NJ to TX. The costs are upwards of 30,000 not to mention, my husband having to be off of work for a possible month + ( how do people get permission for this without being fired)which doesn't seem to be rational as far as having money to do this since he would not be paid during this journey. We desperately want a girl and would love to have an Asian child but unless we save every nickel and dime for the next several years , even with the tax credit, we would not be able to do this. Does anyone have any words of encouragement or a light at the end of the tunnel for us? Anyone who has had the same experience please feel free to PM me or respond to this message...there will be plenty of questions to come but I can start with the ones that seems to be making this an impossible dream for the moment.
Thank you to anyone for their help.

[pjlanghals]

Hi!

We adopted three children in 2001, so I completely understand how financially difficult it can be to adopt. Here are some ideas: Save as much as you can. We used most of our savings to cover adoption expenses. You can sell your used "junk" on eBay. You'd be amazed how much money you can get for something you don't care about anymore. Have a garage sale. Do fundraising. Borrow from your 401K. Take out a home equity loan. Check in your state for state adoption subsidies. In Ohio, we qualified for money spent on adoption expenses and was able to recover $2,000. Not all states have these kinds of subsidies. Since you mentioned the federal income tax credit, I'm assuming you understand that you can get $10,000 back for that. Avoid impulse buying and put that money instead into your savings account. Buy "used" if possible. I like to shop at garage sales and consignment shops for the kid's clothes. I fill in with clearance items and then sale items. I rarely pay full price for anything.

Good luck to you!
Pat

[spaypets]

As far as permissions from employers go, if you work for a business with more than 50 people, the Federal Family and Medical Leave Act gives you up to 12 weeks upaid leave to adopt a child--and your job is protected.

Other countries don't require such a long stay in country. You might want to look at China or India (both countries have more girls than boys available for adoption).

[momof3tobe]

Thank you for the information. I have literally learned more from these forums than I have from actual adoption sites. I think all the ideas you have are great...however, there is a glitch in some of this for us. # 1, we have just moved from NJ to TX so I am not sure we would be able to take out any type of loan on the house( equity etc) for at least two years after our purchase. My husband also just started his job hear when we moved down in late July so stability in the company is not yet what he would like it to be. Not saying he is going to lose his job any time but I am sure you understand what I mean. I do not work so I bring in no extra income unfortunately.
I guess when you get something like this in your heart being resonable is last on the list. I know that we will have to wait no matter how we slice it but knowing that it will be a upwards of a year from start to finish depresses me to think that if we have to wait two years for an equity loan and the same for some job stability on my husbands part then it will be at least three years until we would be able to adopt.
Until then I would like to remain involved in reading others experience until we have saved enough money to do something like this. I guess that is a positive in a way, I may have years worth of experience and knowledge without really doing anything!
Thanks again and there will be plenty of questions to come in the meantime.

[julienj]

My husband and I are also looking for ways to help off set the expense. Reaching Out thru International Adoption provided us with a list of possible sources. Here they are:
1) JSW Adoption Foundation (262) 268-1386 or toll free 877-905-ADOPT
2) God's Grace Adoption Ministry (209) 572-4539
3) National Adoption Foundation
4) NACAC's Adoption Subsidy Resource Center 1-800-470-6665

Best wishes
Julie

[Delmom]

We too, had a real struggle coming up with financing for adoption. I would venture to say that compared to most people who choose to adopt we are in the lower income bracket.

First thing we did was write down all of our expenses. Then we looked at EVERYTHING and decided whether or not it was a necessity. For example, we decided the world wouldn't stop spinning if we didn't have a cell phone. Also, we drive an 87 Jeep and a 98 Hyundai, but they're paid for...

ALL of our savings went for the adoption. Unfortunately what we don't save between now and the time our 7 yr old hits college we'll have to deal with then. (But at least she'll have a little brother who can't wait to take over her room when she does go.

We also applied for two grants. However, I would think of these as a bonus, not a means to adopt. The one we received ($3000)we waited nearly 6 months to be notified about. If we had traveled when our original agency said we would go, it never would have done us any good.

You mentioned that you are a stay-at-home-mom. Is there any at home jobs you could take? I did that and made several thousand $

Other ideas: My husband started cutting grass on the weekends. We had yard sales. We saved our tax refund check. (Also, some agencies will let you borrow based on the anticipated 10K tax credit.)

An added bonus to all of this work...We never had to wonder whether one of us wasn't committed to the adoption, because our actions showed we wanted this more than anyTHING!

Last words of encouragement...We waited 18 months of ups and downs, changing countries, agencies, but finally at what turned out to be the perfect time we met our beautiful boy. Waiting is hard, but you can look back afterwards and realize that some good came out of the wait and it makes a little sense.

Delmom
Daughter 7yrs
Son born 11/03 in Kaz & Adopted 7/04