[nancyinaz]

We are considering adopting a 3 year old from Almaty. we have a 2 year old and a 12 month old. Does anyone have any experience with adopting an older child than your biological children? We are wondering how that will affect our children at home. Also how quickly does a ...well she will be nearly 4 when we bring her home to the US adjust to their new surroundings?

[pdq]

When we adopted the first time (2 kids) we had a 3.5 yr old bio son. We adopted a 23 m old girl and a 9 m old boy. When we adopted the second time (1 boy) we had our other three children already in the home. He was 33 m old - a year older than our youngest son. Honestly, the transition was quite easy!! We didn't have much sibling jealously at all. They eagerly welcomed our new son.

As far as the transition period, go with the flow. Your new daughter will not act like a typical 3 yr old. She will surely act more like your 2 yr old. When we adopted our 33 m old, he acted just like our 2 yr old at the time. It took a good 6-8 months for him to start maturing. Now he is almost entirely caught up developmentally and fairly mature for his age. He knows there are consequences for poor choices and rewards for good choices. I consider that to be good maturity for his age.

Expect to do lots of "hand holding" and monitoring first on. Treat her like your 2 yr old - ie: dressing her, feeding her a little if she allows it, rock her, etc. This will help with the attachment process.

I could go on and on, but I will stop for now! Please ask me more questions. I will be happy to continue sharing our experiences with you!!

Good luck!
Pat