[WizardofOz]

Have started a second adoption ... and signed up with the agency from which we got our first baby. I am still considering signing up with a second adoption professional and so I am doing research. And again, I hit religious discrimination and it is just so offending. One those to whom it happened know how awful it feels.

I was recommended an agency in Utah and so I contacted them. On their website, it did not say clearly that they are "Christian". The lady that I talked with was very nice, she is an adoptive mother herself and she took her time (which adoption professionals value dearly) to explain everything to me.

At some point, I casually mentioned that I am Jewish. Then the tone changed! She asked me if I celebrated the Christian holidays and when I said that her brisk answer was that they could not work with me- and JUST SHE HUNG UP ON ME!

The feeling that I got from this was that as nice and understanding as she was towards me - when she learnt that I was a Jew, she saw me as"useless", not even worth properly terminating a phone conversation.

I decided to demonstrate to her what our Jewish values are about, so I called her again. She did not answer (I was not worth it), so I left a message, thanking her for our conversation and wishing her a happy holiday season.

But I still need to vent, so here you go ... Religious discrimination makes me sick to my stomach, I had to experience in my first adoption and also in my second. Who decided that adoption is an act of "Christian benevolence" and who decided that minority religions do not have proper values to raise a child?! How backwards are some folks?! I hope it'll change one day, probably on the day we will have a Jewish president ...

[CaddoRose]

I saw your post and had to lend my support to you even if I'm not Jewish. I'm so sorry you were treated that way. Whatever she was, she wasn't a Christian. Her behavior can only be explained by saying she was a person lacking manners and who is terribly confused.

[WizardofOz]

CaddoRose, thank you for your kind words! I wrote the post from a place of pain and your post made me feel better. I appreciate it.

My mother lived in Europe during Holocaust, her family posed as Catholics and survived. Sadly though, until this day she will not associate the word "Jew" with herself because of what she went through. I belong to a new generation and I (would like to) believe that I am fortunate to live in a new and better world. That's why whenever I experience discrimination in the adoption world, it just freaks me out.

[MamaS]

Jazmin - Please do not assume Christian is a synonym for rudeness! In fact, if the agency was in Utah, if was most likely LDS (also known as Mormon) and they are not considered "Christian" by many other Christians.

[loveajax]

I'm sorry you went through this....unbelievable!! I am Catholic but used the agency affiliated with Jewish Children and Family Services ...no discrimination there, thank gosh. Good luck with your second adoption!

[yehudit]

hello,
That is just awful!! The one time I ever felt religious discrimination was while trying to adopt. Hang in there, as you know it's worth it. Thdey should at least note that they are a Christian organization, that was how we knew to stay away from certain places.
Good luck,

[devildogwife]

I'm so sorry you experienced that. It's inexcusable and just disgusts me.

[DancinBear63]

That really stinks!! I'm so sorry that you had to experience such a small mind.

(Do you think sending her a copy of "Prince of Egypt" might be helpful? It's one of my favorite adoption stories- OK, I'm being bad)

[WizardofOz]

I would like to thank everybody from my heart for their support!

I agree that this specific agency should have posted loud and clear on their website that they work only with Christians and save us both the embarrassment of rejecting a Jewish person because of religion.

About Mormons ... I am not familiar with the different Christian denominations. However, the adoption from which we got our son is also in Utah and all of the staff members are Mormons. The agency is non-discriminatory and for them non-discrimination is a matter of conviction. So I don't think that Mormons have a uniformed approach to adoption, and I actually had a good experience with some!

In my opinion, an agency that does not place a child in a home where a minority religion is practiced does not have the child's best interest in mind first and foremost but rather has a hidden agenda. That is "non-Christian" to me.

It is also my experience, similar to Yehudit, that in the United States, the only time I ever got noticeably discriminated because of my religion was when trying to adopt domestically. So why not choose international adoption? Well, I am forced into domestic adoption because I am Israeli citizen, permanent resident in the United States. The United States has diligently crafted some immigration laws to prevent from permanent residents to adopt internationally.

As an outsider, I merely observe how some of American's inner demons (racism, religious discrimination, discrimination of non-citizens, monetary greed, etc.) pop up in the adoption world, unhindered by the politically correct packaging. We have still a long way to go.

Again, thanks to everybody!

[vegaschristina]

I'm so very sorry you experienced that. I am a christian and rudeness is not a christian atribute. Best of luck in your next adoption.

[Kat-L]

I'm so sorry you were treated so badly-especially by an agency claiming to be Christian. Jesus always welcomed EVERYONE he met with kindness-despite their status, health, and even (gasp!) religion. As Christians, we're supposed to be following His example. I'm ashamed of how you were treated. My family has Jewish heritage but we're practicing Catholics.
As for your follow up phone call, it was very gracious of you. I probably wouldn't have been able to do that. But, it just shows your incredible character! You're future child will be so lucky to have you.

[Sohmakun]

I'm not surprised this happened to you Wizard because sometimes my people ("Christians") can be so close-minded. Have your Tried using a non - sectarian adoption agency they tend to be more accepting of "non-traditional" families. I decided to adopt independently because adoption attorneys tend to be more "gay friendly"

[aclee]

I'm so sorry. I really really does sting. My husband was raised Christian Science and there were Christian Agencies that wouldn't work with us either. My husband was so upset. He wasn't even practicing anymore, it was essentially his parents religon, but because we were honest, there were agencies that told him he wasn't "Christian"... who are they to tell him what he is or isn't?

I'm SO glad you called back and were polite. To hang up on you is so rude. I guess God left her in charge to judge everyone and forgot to tell the rest of us?

[millie58]

That's ridiculous!! I'm black and I HATE discrimination. You may want to threaten going to the media and go as high up the ladder as you need to. That kind of ignorance is uncalled for.

[WizardofOz]

I agree with Kat-L that Jesus would not have liked to see adoption tied to religious discrimination because it is contradictory to his teachings. Jesus was a Jew, he celebrated the same holidays as I do today, read the Old Testament from the same language as I do (Hebrew), I understand the basics of the language that he spoke (Aramaic), we grew up in the same country, share the same history etc.. In fact, there is a very tight bond between us and it is most likely that if Jesus lived today, he would consider himself to be a Jew. (The logical conclusion is then that he would get rejected by that adoption agency, how absurd).

I checked out the website. It says there "Our adoption program is open to couples that have been married for at least two years; three if it is a second marriage (Our Finally Home Adoption Program accepts single parents), are members of a Christian church " etc. so they do accept ALL DENOMINATIONS but you have to be Christian. Here we go again, Jews are unwanted. Agencies that are openly affiliated with Christianity will ALL reject minority religions such as Jews, Hindus etc. because unfortunately they have what I call a "hidden agenda". So I expected that, I would have been very surprised had it been otherwise.

Somahkun, we have of course used a non-sectarian agency in our first adoption and just signed up with them again. I guess this how the second adoption is meant to happen. I firmly believe that there are reasons why things happen which we humans do not always understand in that very moment. Maybe there is a child out there that is meant to be mine by destiny, a supreme intelligence is working hard to bring us together and does not want to be interfered, LOL!

millie58, I thought about this. It would be a national outrage if there was an adoption agency out there that would not accept adoptive parents based on their skin color. However, it is considered perfectly ok that adoption agencies do not accept adoptive parents based on religion. Why? Don't all agencies proclaim that they place children based on the child's best interest? If you put one and one together, the answer must be "the child's best interest is to be placed in a Christian home" and conversely "the child's best interest is not to be placed in a minority home".

This thought is an act of, what I call, religious supremacy and is unconstitutional. This phenomenon is not unique to the unregulated private adoption sector: In Texas, the vast majority of agencies that place children through the foster care system require the adopters to be of the Christian faith.

And you cannot do anything about it either! I think it would be useless to go to the media. Religious discrimination, as opposed to racial discrimination, finds a safe haven under the umbrella of "religious freedom" and as such cannot be challenged.