[ilene21117]

Hi Everyone,
My husband and I were just chosen out of five families today to adopt a baby from social services that is 12 months old. My question is his name is Tristan and it sounds Christian to me. We won't know if we will be able to definitely adopt him until the hearing on 7/30/07, however, he will be coming to live with us in the next two weeks. I know I will call him Tristan when we have him, but I've always had a special name picked out for a boy. Is it okay to change his name once we adopt him even if he is 19 months old at the time? When do infants start to recognize their name and would it mess them up or are they too young to remember? Thanks for any input!
Ilene G.

[Shai's Mom]

First of all: MAZAL TOV!!!

It is not uncommon for parents to change their new child's name.

The name-change issue comes up quite frequently in the forums.

What you may want to do is call your little guy by both names, his new name and then his old name and gradually drop the old one. Or, keep it as his middle name.

This is one method that many people have used.

It is perfectly natural for you to want to give your child a name of your choice.

All the best of luck!

[ilene21117]

Thank you so much for your reply. My mother said the same thing. I'm actually getting to like the name and may keep it as a first name and change his middle name to something else, but I'm sure I'll change my mind again tommorow. It's been a whirl wind since we got the call and my mind going all over the place..LOL!!
Thanks again.
Ilene

[Shai's Mom]

"Tristan" is a nice sounding name. You will also need to choose his Hebrew name..

He is a year old? What a sweet age!

If I may, I will recommend a book to you: Toddler Adoption - Weaver's Craft. I got mine through Amazon, you can find it there quite easy.

We are waiting for a third adoption ourselves. Our sons are 5 years old (adopted at 7 1/2 months) and 18 months (adopted at 7 1/2 weeks).

I'd love to have a little girl..

[ilene21117]

Thank you and good luck to you

[jetremil]

I don't think you should change the babie's name. I am an adult adoptee and my name was changed by my adopted mother and I really didn't like the idea and I was almost 2 years old. I was really wierd for me to all of a sudden have everyone go from calling me one thing to calling me something else. I am sure that regardless of the situation that Tristan came into your home, it was a hard decision for his birth mother so, I feel as if the least you can do is let Tristan keep one thing that his mother gave him other than life.