[nicks]

Has anybody been turned down by a PBfamily because they are Jewish? Our pbf doesn't know our religion yet and will find out this week. We have already made a connection with them and am hoping that this doesn't play a part in their decision to work with us.

[WizardofOz]

I think that at least one potential birthmom turned us down because I am Jewish. I was told by our agency that about a third of all potential birthmoms are looking for a practicing Christian family. Looking at the full half of the glass, two thirds seem to be more open in their religious preferences.

I have experienced that being a Jew is a show stopper in domestic adoption to some degree but not a total show stopper. Don't give up! I hope your potential birthfamily will turn out to be open. Let me know what happens.

Our birthparents are Buddhists and our religion played no role to them. Our son will be officially converted in the Mikveh tomorrow (yay!) but we will also expose him to Buddhism. That was not requested by his birthparents but we just like Buddhism anyway. :-)

[SchmennaLeigh]

First of all, not in my case. I placed with a family that was half Christian/half Jewish specifically because that was the make-up of the religions of myself and the firstfather.

Secondly; for me, not disclosing your religion from the get-go would have been a turn-off for me. If I would have learned something like that after a connection was all ready made, I would have felt lied to by omission.

[ess922]

For our older child's bfamily -- we are the first Jews they have ever met!!!! They are Southern Bapists. Later Bmom told us she supposed Jews existed but really hadn't ever considered Jewish as an option for someone's religion -- just assumed everyone would be Christian. She's been really open-minded about our faith. Even learning a bit about kosher food.

We told the bmom(s) (for both of our children) in our first or 2nd conversation about our religion. We felt the family should know upfront and I even remember saying to each of them (as well as to other pbmoms we talked to) that we'd completely understand their wanting their child to grow up in a family of their own faith... Didn't want to get too far into establishing a connection if they wanted a Christian family for their child. Kinda like the PP said, didn't want them to feel we'd lied by NOT saying we're Jewish early on in our discussions...

Hope things work out for the best for all of you.

[sak9645]

I adopted internationally. My daughter is from China. Because of Chinese laws and policies, the only adoption plan many families can make is abandonment. As a result, I know nothing of her biological parents, and they know nothing about me.

Being Jewish was never an issue. Although the Chinese government is officially atheist, the folks at the China Center for Adoption Affairs, the Chinese government bureau charged with making all referrals to foreigners, are very open about religion. Orthodox Jews, evangelical Christians, agnostics, and atheists are all welcome.

My homestudy made it clear that my daughter would come into an actively Jewish home, and this was not questioned in any way. I received a wonderful child, who has been converted to Judaism and attends a Jewish day school.

If you are concerned about American birthparents preferring to place with Christian families, you might want to consider adoption from countries like China, Ethiopia, or Guatemala, where religion is simply not an issue.

Sharon

[Free_to_be_me]

I also chose adoptive parents that were 1/2 Jewish and 1/2 Christian-mainly because that it what the birthfather and I are. We also considered a Jewish couple and probably looked at some Christian couples but selected the couple we did because they just matched. Religion played a small part, but only a part.

By the way, we knew prospective adoptive parents' religions before meeting anyone because it was listed on the profiles that I looked at during the selection process.

[MommaKatja]

the couple i chose is Jewish/Catholic but religion didn't play a big role in my choice the only consideration I gave it was to opose overly zealous religious family In my opinion if a birthparent were to opose you because of your religion then it's for the best because do you really want someone like that to be link to you forever?

[jewishadoptionblog]

Being open and honest is important. And if you think it might be an issue, consider telling them that you will be talking to your child about the birth family and will include the fact that s/he was born into a different religion, or making it clear that although s/he will be raised Jewish, it is ultimately his/her decision upon reaching adulthood.

The best you can do is be open and honest. But sometimes adoptive families get turned down for any number of reasons, religion included.

[InBlindFaith]

I am Christain and not Jewish and I chose to go through Jewish Family Services. I felt the most comfortable with JFS and felt confident my daughter would have the best opportunities in life. I think part of it is because my best friend growing up was Jewish and I used to go to Temple with them. My friends mom was a wonderful influence in my life and I was hoping my daughter would have a mom who was as loving and caring as Mrs. C.

[nicks]

Our potential birth family was told yesterday that we are Jewish and they were completely fine with it!! The pbfather even made a joke saying, "if it's a boy, that means he will have a circumcision!" I was worried for no reason. I also thought, with everything going on in the world, you never know how people will feel about people who are Jewish.

[WizardofOz]

Oh, I am so happy for you!

We are a mixed couple (I am Jewish, DH is Lutheran) but it was clear to both of us that the baby will be raised Jewish.

We said in our profile that our baby will be raised Jewish so our potential birthparents would know this from the beginning and choose us if they liked us.

Despite of is going on right now, people here in the US do have a positive attitude towards us and IMHO there are many birthmothers who would place their baby with a Jewish family. We are not as unloved as we think often times ...

Good luck and keep us updated!

[mom2justynsarah]

Originally Posted by nicks

Has anybody been turned down by a PBfamily because they are Jewish? Our pbf doesn't know our religion yet and will find out this week. We have already made a connection with them and am hoping that this doesn't play a part in their decision to work with us.

My daughter's birthparents didn't care. They just wanted a loving, warm and stable home for their unborn child. So they knew up front that we were going to convert the baby to Judaism.

As a cute side note, my very fair skinned, blonde haired, blue eyed 20 month old daughter walks around the house going "oy!" lol!

[ilysse]

Some of the reasoning may be odd as to why you would be turned down, rather than because of anti semitism. For example, I am Jewish but very open to other paths and will be raising my children to learn about different religions and cultures with Judaism as a base. I would have no problem if they choose to be Christian as long as its an informed choice. In fact, my husband and I have decided that if we adopt a black child we would take them to a black church (one a friend of mine goes to) so that s/he is part of the black community (very important here in GA where the KKK is alive and well and the race line is drawn with a thick magic marker). My husband is athiest but raised Lutheran. He has an actual hatred for Christianity and only luke warm feelings for Judaism and other religions. A couple didn't choose us because I am Jewish and they thought that I would 'force' religion onto the child but they were considering about us because DH is athiest and he would probably be more open to other religions or lack of. This thinking is flawed because, as I've said, I am the more open minded one. Also, they are vegan and thought since I am Jewish I must keep kosher (I don't) so that was considered a plus for us. How vegan and kosher equal the same thing, I don't know and I didn't ask. In the end they actually found a vegan, lesbian, Pagan couple LOL I guess there is someone out there for everyone.

[ajrl]

How vegan and kosher equal the same thing, I don't know and I didn't ask. In the end they actually found a vegan, lesbian, Pagan couple LOL I guess there is someone out there for everyone.

lol i had to laugh.

I know but I guess since they think you were kosher that you wouldnt eat pork.. some people think that it means no red meat. lol

I know what you mean about religion. My husband didnt want to go to temple the first time I asked because he thought the Rabbi would be blastin xtians. I had to laugh and tell him that we only talk about G-d and that we dont make fun of anyone. After going a few times he is not uncomfortable and when I ask he will go w/ me willingly instead of it being a chore.

I think people that do not know what our Judaism entails, they think that we do not have the same beliefs as they do. How wrong could they be!!

I personally do not have my religious beliefs on my profile. I feel that people look over your profile in about 60 secs to determine if you are the right shape, size, color, height and what not.. and If they pick us then I will tell them. Why have one more reason to go to the bottom of someone's pile in the first few mins??? This way I can have a dialog about it rather than an instant NO!!!

AJ

[Stormster]

I was told that the most important thing is not being Jewish but celebrating christmas in the home. I am jewish my husband is Protestant/catholic. We celebrate all holidays around here and have an xmas tree. So it doesn't seem to be a problem maybe because some pbp's want their kids to experience Xmas???? My consultant told us this and it made sense...