[spaypets]

I am the hostess of my family's seder which is led by my father, who prefers a very traditional seder (and so do I).

I am the new mother of a 2-year-old who will be celebrating her first Pesach with us. This holiday is especially meaningful because last year we were very depressed that she wasn't yet home with us.

I know that she won't have the attention span for a full seder with out some sort of supplement (coloring, toys, play dough).

I'm looking for ideas from people on how they've handled small children. My dad has agreed to cut back on the readings of the rabbinical debates. I've bought toys that represent the four questions and the 10 plagues (the thought of a bag of plagues cracks me up). I'm looking for children's books telling the story of passover to help get her excited about the service.

Does anyone have any other ideas or traditions? Keep in mind, my father won't water down the service very much, so children's haggadahs etc. aren't going to work for us, although other people might like to hear those ideas.

Thanks in advance for your suggestions.

[Xanny]

For one thing, I recommend keeping bedtime and mealtime as consistent as possible for your child. At 2, just a taste of the seder will be plenty, along with your toys and storybooks (used throughout the week) to help her learn the Passover story.

Probably, she should eat before the seder starts, then be there for the beginning, participate in the 4 questions somehow (my friend sings with her daughter and has her daughter fill in key words for songs, so she is practicing the 4 Questions with her now in hopes that she'll be able to fill in some parts come seder time), and go to bed. That will leave your dad free to expound however he wants, far into the night, without you worrying about an overtired toddler losing control and ruining the evening for your guests.

There are definitely children's books out there, but I can't think of any specific titles to recommend.

Remember--this is a week-long holiday, so you don't have to get all your education in at one sitting. Talk to her about why you're eating matzah, cleaning the house, and whatever else you do. The important thing for the seder, I think, is that it not become a very negative memory for your child. If it was a regular dinner party, you'd have her pay a token visit at the beginning, then go to bed, right?

Best wishes,

Xanny

[spaypets]

Thanks for the ideas -- Actually, I expect we'll be done by her bedtime (8 p.m.). I'd really like her to be there for the end, which is the most fun part in our family, but DH would be more than happy to spirit her away and skip the second half!