[DoubleScoop2003]

Hello my name is Lisa I am 36 yrs old and married to Scott for 7 yrs. Our dream of adoption is coming true as we will be adopting a little baby boy from Russia . Travel in about a mnth for 1st trip .

I am in the Ft. Lauderdale area and looking to meet moms for friendship .

Send me an e-mail to chat

Lisa

[lmorrison2]

Hi Lisa. My husband and I live in Lake Worth. We are just getting started with the international adoption process. We still have so many questions....
For your Russian adoption did you have to travel to Russia to "choose" your child?
We are considering China and Kazakhstan.
Has your family and community (synagogue) been supportive?

Good luck!

[DoubleScoop2003]

Hi and thanks so much for your response . We have not traveled yet but we will have to make 2 trips for Russia . 1st trip is for 5 days then home for 6 weeks and back for 10 days for our adoption court date and bring our soon to be son home . Our family is very supportive but to tell you the truth I really do not think they are familiar with everything . I try to tell them and I always still get questions about childrens medical records and health problems blah blah blah . I have spoken to 5 pediatricians who specialize in overseas adoptions and they have made it very clear to me that if you are working with a good agency with a good reputation you will have good medical records and childs health feedback . Our agency is terrific and if you do the research and by that I mean watch for scams there are plenty out there .

Please if you would like to chat anytime please let me know and I will answer any questions you have . After all I am becoming a real pro at this LOL .

Talk Soon
Lisa

[DotHeff]

You must be so happy! We're in VA, but send our best wishes to you We're still waiting for our match that's "meant to be" and have our hopes set on a little one waiting in foster care. We'll find out next week if we made the "short list" and go from there.

All the best to you!

Dot

[yeysk]

DoubleScoop/Lisa --

I have a serious question I wonder if you would comment on: So many couples pursue adoption in Russia ... but how do you determine whether your referred child has FAS?

During our Russian adoption process I'm learning what a heartbreaking issue this is.

Our referral, a beautiful year-old girl, looked wonderful to me ... she looked alert and strong in the video.

But our U.S. doc was concerned by her low birth weight, small hc ... and he could not see a distinct filtrum ("dent" above the lip) in the video. All possible signs of FAS, an alcohol-caused mental retardation that can't be cured by love.

I'm broken hearted, but not yet ready to decline this referral (dh is ... ).

How does one determine for sure whether a child has FAS? In my sadness I am suspect that ALL our future referrals may have FAS. I can't stand the idea of rejecting a series of children (altho' they will have no knowledge of it ... and the agency says this particular little girl will be adopted by someone else "in a quick minute."

Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks for your time.

Regards,
-

[BD2884]

Hi Yeysk:

Why do you think that all of your referrals might have FAS?

And just to answer your question, I think that only an IA doc can guestimate whether a child might have FAS--and remember, it is just a very educated guess since he cannot see her in person and doesnt know her birth parents history, etc. It sounds like he has determined that the philtrum is not defined and headsize is small--all signs that it MIGHT be FAS. Did your doc ask you to get more information, if you are still interested in this little girl, that might account for the low birth weight--was she a preemie, etc. What was her Apgar score? Have you asked for another picture--that might help define the facial area? Has he given you a list of questions to ask your agency since he has concerns--that might help you? Perhaps that might be a place to start.

I certainly understand the idea of rejecting a child that seems perfectly healthy to you while the IA doc has concerns. We went to health issue seminars that were specific to adoptive children and when they put children's pictures on the screen and asked you if they had FAE/FAS I was always wrong--they were all beautiful to me. We couldnt tell--and we decided that we would listen the IA doc. And we did trust our IA doc. However, if you do have concerns, why not get a second opinion for another IA doc. And dont despair, your next referral might be perfectly healthy with no issues whatsoever. Or minor medical issues that are easily dealt with.

That is our case. We turned down our first referral--and believe me--we agonized over that decision. It was a painful and sad time for us. But we soon received a referral for our son--and the IA doc had no reservations at all. We knew the second that we saw him--he was meant to be ours, while there was some hesitation on the first referral. I dont know why we had those feelings but we did! And the doctor really just confirmed what we already knew. While the whole adoption process is difficult at best, have faith that the right baby will be there for you.
I would be happy to answer any questions--our adoption is complete and I can tell you that my son is wonderful in everyway and we have had no health issues with him at all except for your normal colds, etc. He is perfect and we are blessed.

Please let me know if I can help in any other way.

Bari

[mom2justynsarah]

Hi Lisa,

My name is Julie. I am 38 (gasp) years old. lol. I have been married to my dear husband Mark (almost 40) for over 10 years.

We have two children. Justin is six years old and our miracle IVF baby. Our beautiful daughter Sarah is just about 5 months old. She is our miracle baby through infant domestic open adoption.

We live in Sunrise. So we are relatively close to one another. I would love to meet you and become friends. You let me know where and when

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Julie

[yeysk]

Originally Posted by BD2884

Hi Yeysk:

Why do you think that all of your referrals might have FAS? ...

Hi Bari, the IA doctor(s) we had consulted about the THREE referrals we have declined (since I last posted way back in December) don't come out and say FAS. Instead, they talk about the relationship between hc and brain development. By the time they're done with all of that, my dh is on the bus and speedin' down the road.

We finally have accepted a referral, however, and are now scrambling for paperwork to complete our dossier -- even tho' we won't be able to travel 'til late August. Strange thing is, we didn't have a doctor review her med report because, jeez, we can chart hc and look up medical terms as well as anyone. By now, we have a reasonable understanding of the Russian medical "way."