[emily18]

can anybody give me information on pros and cons of adopting children with handicaps.

[Bcelli]

Wow. That's a loaded question. It would all depend on the extent of the handicap, how well you (and/or your spose) are prepared to deal with it, what resources you have available, etc. My son has a very small handicap and it has affected him very little. (Syndactyli of the digits of the right hand.) He has had four surgeries at Shriner's and they have done wonders with it, but he still has three fingers shorter and misshapen from the others. While it rarely is an issue for him, he has been the object of questions - which he usually doesn't mind - and some unkind comments from classmates (3-4 year olds) which he does. We have taught him that it only makes him special and that it is the hand God designed just for him for some special reason we may not know. He is in every way, however, perfect, and the joy of our life. The cons - you have to deal with the cruel reality of people who make comments out of a lack of understanding, or the even crueler reality that your child - given more grave handicaps - may never know the joys of a 'normal' life, or that help is available for them but not where you live or within your budget. A situation could become more swerious than you ever anticipated and you ultimately may not be able to deal with it. Bottom line: Kids are kids. They come in all shapes, sizes. colors and abilities. We love them and do the best we can to steward them through life and hope and pray that everything we do will somehow be sufficient for them to grow into loving, competent and capable human beings.

[Linny]

As posted above, there are all sorts and ages. However, I would advise that if you are wanting to 'go this route'.....you talk very frankly with other parents who have done so. I would also know----very well----specifically what you feel you can/can not deal with! This is very, very important.
A lot also depends on the ages of children you are considering. I believe that adopting infants is often (and I mean ususally) easier than older children (we have done both). This is not to say that you will not incur problems with an infant, then or down the road......but certainly there is more time with which to help a child heal.
The other part of this is what types of challenges you are considering too. Of the three-----sexual, physical or neglect.....certainly, more often, the hardest one to deal with and heal is the 'neglect'.
And finally, much of this also depends on if you already have children in your home.....their ages and abilities.
I hope I haven't overwhelmed you.......but there is a great deal to consider. :>)

Sincerely,

Linny

[believe2271]

It all depends on what you are comfortable with, what you feel that you can handle. Research different special needs, find what resources are around you. Consult with a medical professional. Even poll your family. You are going to find pros and cons no matter what the situation. A healthy child vs. a special needs child, is still a child and they will love you just as much as you love them.