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  #1  
Old 03-28-2009, 07:54 PM
LEJ8 LEJ8 is offline
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Has anyone adopted a 6-8 year old?

If so, can you please pm me so I can ask you some questions? Thanks!
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  #2  
Old 07-07-2009, 02:36 PM
mouschi mouschi is offline
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sure, shoot! whats up? (we adopted at 5 1/2 actually)
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  #3  
Old 07-07-2009, 02:45 PM
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lovemy6 lovemy6 is offline
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My youngest were 5 and 7 at adoption.
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Mom to seven kids
Foster mom for 15 years to 28 kids... adopted five of them
4 grandchildren whom I love like crazy!
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  #4  
Old 07-07-2009, 02:45 PM
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TxMom65 TxMom65 is offline
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We adopted from foster care when my daughter was 8.
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  #5  
Old 02-06-2011, 07:14 AM
tampagal tampagal is offline
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Question.

Do you find it's harder to bond with an older child? Are they more likely to have attachment issues?

Thanks..
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7/24/06- Submitted application to agency.
8/9/06- Agency approved app.
8/26/06- Social Worker did homevisit.
10/04/06- Mailed I-600A.
11/30/06- Received I-171h.
01/06/07- DTC
2/06/07- LID !!
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  #6  
Old 02-06-2011, 07:43 AM
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mommytoEli mommytoEli is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tampagal
Do you find it's harder to bond with an older child? Are they more likely to have attachment issues?

Thanks..

my experience was yes and no. i bonded quicker with one over the other we adopted, but one had attachment issues- which made it difficult. the one i bonded to quicker....that still took longer than it did for me to bond with a baby. i always used to tell my husband i think it was because there was no background there- no memories of sleeping babies, first steps, first teeth, first words....no memories of innocent times. that made it hard when they were naughty, because all i could see was annoying behavior(although justifiable based on their past). it took many years to build up those happy, cute memories. i can tell now that i am parenting a child(since they were born) near the age the older ones were when they moved in that THAT was one of my big problems....because when this 8 year old does similar behaviors they used to do....it honestly doesn't bother me as much. i still like him, i still feel connected to him. but i've loved him and watched him grow for 8 years, rather than 8 weeks or 8 months.

in the end, we were just fine...we all lived, it was just something that i had to acknowledge in myself- that I was having a hard time bonding to them due to lack of history with them. looking back, we could have been better at attachment parenting with them from the start and i think that would have sped up the process. my one piece of advice if you found yourself in this situation would be to MAKE the happy memories happen so that you could begin to stack some up. it may be hard in the beginning if you are both struggling to bond, as kids tend to act out, which makes a parent want to cancel whatever fun thing was planned. we learned really quickly that if we kept doing that, we would NEVER have any happy memories....only memories of time out and missed experiences. lol. there were certain activities that we planned that dh and i would decided ahead of time, it did not matter what dd did to sabotage the fun activity, we would do it regardless. it was necessary for the health of our family....even though it sounds completely backwards.
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  #7  
Old 02-06-2011, 09:41 AM
millie58 millie58 is offline
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yup; first adoption was placed at 6, adopted at 8. Last 2 were placed at 6 and 7 and adopted at 7 and 8. Shoot!!
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L, came home 5/05; adopted 6/06
P, came home 2/06; adopted Adoption Day, 06
J, came home 5/07; adopted 1/09
B, came home 5/07; adopted 1/09

Respite to D and J
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  #8  
Old 02-06-2011, 09:43 AM
millie58 millie58 is offline
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adopting 6-8 yo's

The ability to bond had more to do with the kid's personality and psyche than age. Of my 2 younger adoptions, the older one bonded more quickly than the youngest who was more sensitive but acted tough. Depends on the kid.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tampagal
Do you find it's harder to bond with an older child? Are they more likely to have attachment issues?

Thanks..
__________________
Millie

Adoptive mom to 4

L, came home 5/05; adopted 6/06
P, came home 2/06; adopted Adoption Day, 06
J, came home 5/07; adopted 1/09
B, came home 5/07; adopted 1/09

Respite to D and J
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  #9  
Old 02-06-2011, 11:41 AM
tampagal tampagal is offline
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Thanks.

Thank you for all the wonderful information.
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7/24/06- Submitted application to agency.
8/9/06- Agency approved app.
8/26/06- Social Worker did homevisit.
10/04/06- Mailed I-600A.
11/30/06- Received I-171h.
01/06/07- DTC
2/06/07- LID !!
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