[dadfor2]

hi all,
im posting this for a friend of mine with the hope of some of you more knowledagable people can help.

im cutting and pasting. Here goes:

I need help with an FAS/IEP situation.

My youngest daughter, B, has fetal alcohol syndrome. She came here as a foster child 2 1/2 years ago when she was 3 years old (adoption final this past April). With her FAS she has some qualities of ADHA such as extreme hyperness, complete lack of focus, no impulse control. She also has some qualities of Autism such as self mutilation (i.e. pulling her lip till it bleeds, digging at her sides, pulling her own hair, ect), rocking motions when stressed, and repetitive movements. I also think, but am not sure, that her random babbling (talking non-stop but making no sense at all) falls under the Autism qualities.

She stayed home with me the rest of that first school year and all summer. In the fall we enrolled her in headstart. They did an IEP on her and she qualified for both speech and OT. While in headstart I was repeatedly called to come and pick her up because they couldn't control her behavior. She has no cause and effect and to say she's impulsive would be a great under-exaggeration. She literally does what she thinks. So, it was a rather dismal learning year for her as far as preschool went. At the end of the school year I requested that they do another (forgot to mention the first one I had done) evaluation to see if she qualified for our local special ed school. This time she qualified and she was put into a special ed preschool.

One thing I did discover over the summer before she started was that caffeine has a serious counter effect on her and it will calm her down. Not calm and focused like your typical student, but very calm and very focused for B who is never calm and can never focus. So, she started the SE preschool and things went very well. They have one teacher for ever two students and B thrived in that environment. The caffeine also really helped. She almost completely stopped hurting herself and she started to make sense much of the time when she talked. She still had no cause and effect, no impulse control, and she still rocked. She did calm down and was able to focus and follow directions. About 1/2 way through the year they took her off the caffeine and she maintained her behavior. At the end of the school year they informed me she had done so well that she no longer qualified for SE preschool and would be starting regular kindergarten in the fall and still get speech and OT services at the regular school.

So, kindergarten started six days ago and today I had my first parent teacher conference about her behavior and abilities. She's lost, well beyond what is normal for a new kindergartner. She can't stand in line, she won't come in from recess, she can't figure out how to get through the lunch line unless someone walks her through it, ect ect ect. I had sent a vault pop on the first day, but the teacher hasn't used it yet. She's also started doing some serious rocking on the way home from school. What the teacher would like to do is put B down to young five's. Hubby and I think this is just sticking a band aid over a serious gash and all it's going to do is postpone the problem for one year.

So, here's some of the things we are thinking and/or the school is thinking.

1) Have the teacher start using the vault pop at school and see if it makes much of a difference. If not, have her doctor look into putting her on ADHD med's (her bio brother - FAE instead of FAS - takes them and it's been a miracle worker for him - but again, his symptoms aren't 1/2 as bad) and see if they can get her calm and focused.

2) This is the school. Put her back down to a young five's program or a before K program. Possibly send her back to headstart which will take her at her age. See if in a year she's better equipped to handle kindergarten.

3) And I'm hoping Lucy can help with me this! See if she qualifies for services under the Americans with disabilties act to see if we can get her her own aid for the classroom. She CAN focus and she CAN learn if she has no more than one adult per two children. She proved that in the SE preschool.

I would like to know what you guys think, would like any and all input, and would like any and all suggestions. They are setting up this meeting and I would love to be able to walk in there confident on what I want done. Otherwise, I fear B will just get pushed off to the side. I'm really worried for this little girl. She's going to fall through the cracks in the system and I really don't want to see that. She can't keep up with a regular classroom and she doesn't qualify for a special ed classroom. I can just see her getting further and further behind while her self esteem crashes to rock bottom. We already have to worry about sex and drugs as a teenager with her because she doesn't understand cause and effect, she's gullible beyond belief, and she has no impulse control. Add absolutely no self esteem to that, and I'm just scared for her. Please help!

[dadfor2]

how weird, im answering my own post kinda.

im not sure what the

im not sure what the vault pop is, so i can totally be off base here.

have you tried giving her a little caffeine again and see if she does better?

also, my younger son was removed from his 'regular' kindgartin class and he was put in an inclusion classroom, much better fit for him.

he needed the extra attention with less distraction from other kids and he is doing much better...(for him)

so maybe ask about that before keeping her out.

another thing, my sons bday is in jan, so we kept out of kindergartin as long as we could....i rather him 'bored' in school (which will never happen) then playing catch up....

i figured 'bored' doesnt hurt the self-estemm as much at 'catch up' would.

so if you can hold her back as long as you can before kindergartin, i would recommend it....there brains are still growing, so each kids learning capacity is going to be different at this age. If she is not ready, then shes not ready.

I think getting left back in the sixth grade is worse then kindergartin, but thats my opinion....

oh, no child left behind...they need to accomadate her special needs...

[Lylac]

I really don't have any wise words, but I did want to say that alot of neurologists tell parents to give their child caffeine, even coffee as it does help "some" children calm down.

If it was working for her before, I'd try giving it to her again. Best of luck with your little one.

[suburbanmomgw]

My son is 4. He has FAS and is in special ed preschool.

My understanding is that he will need a code for elementary school. Maybe FAS is "other". You have EVERY RIGHT to use the system and demand an aide or any other things you think will help.

The school system doesn't know much about FAS. It will also be your job to educate them. Print some fliers to help them understand the need for repetition and stucture...

Most of all, I say trust your gut. If you feel she can handle kindergarten with helps, make that happen. If you feel like she would benefit from waiting a year--no harm done! Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.

[momraine]

First off, Dad you are in Foreign adoption special needs again, you might want to go to plain old special needs to get more answers. Secone Vault is one of those new engery drinks that has a lot of caffein. Other than that I have no answers. Sorry.

[Annabell]

A wise child psychologist once explained the lack of cause and effect in these children to me when I was sobbing in her office.

How do we, as infant humans, learn cause and effect? If we cry, someone immediately picks us up. If we continue to cry, that person tries to feed us. If we cry more, that person changes our wet or dirty diaper. If we continue to cry, they rub our tummy to try to sooth our gas or colic. If we fall down and hurt ourselves, someone comes running to comfort and minister to us.

But this never happened to these children. When they cried, no one picked them up, fed them, changed their diapers, or rubbed their tummies. Eventually, they learn that the world of humans is random and meaningless -- that NOTHING that THEY do or do not do has any effect whatsoever upon what the adults in their world do (or fail to do) for them. Eventually, they stop crying altogether, for what would be the point?

Then, when they come into a home, we expect them to understand our verbal and facial cues ("If you throw the cat across the room, Mommy will be VERY ANGRY! Do not do it!") -- and we go nuts when they listen carefully, nod, grin at us and throw the cat across the room.

My only word of wisdom is that this does improve with time (LOTS of time), but will probably never go away completely.

[stevenstwin]

RE: The caffeine. I noticed that if my 15 year old ADHD foster son has a cup of coffee in the morning, he levels right out - calm, focused, etc. as you describe. I mentioned at school how surprised I was by this, and the response I got from the Special Ed teachers and aides is that this is well documented! In fact, they make sure that their ADHD students have a small can of soda around 2:00 in the afternoon. Apparently, caffeine works as a stimulant in much the way that ADHD drugs do. And although I would assume that "stimulations" is the LAST thing a hyper kid needs, they said to think of it as stimulating the "brakes" in the brain.

[qs mom]

I tell you that our school district WILL NOT, under any circumstances, hire a 1 to 1 aide. We have kids in wheelchairs using just the classroom aide. And we aren't the only district in this area like this.

But, there are ways to force the issue. My son's classroom aide is with him constantly. My son is to never be left alone. Last year, the aide wasn't paying attention while he was in gym, he locked a teacher in the storage closet!

My son is listed as "Other health impaired". His IEP states - He sits n the front seat of the bus, bus aide is to sit with him. The classroom aide goes with him to all specials. His class goes to lunch first. His class has preferred seating in the cafeteria. He doesn't go through the lunch line. Someone brings him a lunch. He wears noise cancelling headphones at lunch.

These are just a few of the things that I had written into his IEP.

He did self-contained Special Ed Kindergarten. It was wonderful for him. However, and this is a HUGE one, his teacher was awesome and she truly loves him very, very much.

Request every evaluation you can thing of. At the CSE meeting, request everything you think your child needs. Bring an advocate. Don't let them push you around - they want to save money, NOT help your child.

[dpen6]

Have you had an outside neuro/psche done?

Would the school system have to adhere to whateever the outside professionals suggest.

My experiance(and that is no where near as vast as some of you) is that the schools evals are not always great and some will look for ways as not to give servieces as they are expensive.

If possible get an outside evaluation, find out what special need services are mandated by your state and make sure schools are adhering to them. Aweful to say, but you can't always assume they have your childs best interst at heart.

[qs mom]

In our state or county (not sure who govens this area) when your request an eval, you are given a list of several agencies, and you choose where you want to take your child for the eval. Every communication with the district (our district) is in writing. And a list of my legal rights is always enclosed.

Many parents don't realize what their rights truly are. Talk with other parents with special needs in your area. They don't have to be in the same district.

I talk with anyone I know with a special needs kid. How's school going for them? What does your district do? What areas a especially difficult for them? Of course, it's not in a question episode, but a conversation. Glean as much as you can about 'those who have gone before you'. My child's teacher and principal have input into the CSE, but you have more. Talk to the teacher, and the principal. Make them your ally. Be knowledgeable about your child's needs. Be firm in your conviction regarding accomodations. But, ask for their input. Make it friendly.

I very open about alot of things with the school. I make it on a personal level. Truly humanized my son to them. Given them insight into why he does some of the things he does. That he isn't just defiant, he just oppositional, he doesn't need 'a good spanking'. They have been very receptive.