[2manyks]

i thought i would start a new thread so those of us who have adopted kids with RAD would have somewhere to go for support. in case you dont know what RAD stand for its Reactive Attschment Disorder. believe me, if you dont know the initials RAD then you probably dont need to worry about following this thread!

i adopted 2 kids almost 2 years ago, 4 yr old Daughter and 7 yr old son. i already have other kids too. some adopted, some bio. the older son, now 9 is doing great, the younger daughter, now 6 can be a nightmare. she is a 3 yr old mind in a 6 yr old body. she does things a toddler would do, like play in the pots and pans, then add a whole box of tissues, then soap and water. then she poops in it. so it can be quite gross. we have been doing attachment therapy and things are getting better. actually things are great, for now. i know we will have some set backs, so i just hold my breath and try to enjoy the good times.

i was hoping we could share parenting tips, since the regular kind of parenting doesnt work on these kids. right now i try to show zero emotion when i am diciplining so they think they dont get a rise out of me over anything. this has really perplexed my daughter, ill call her A, and she has quit alot of wierd stuff. for now.

hope to hear from other out there going through the same things. why does misery love company?

[Lorraine123]

I also am raising a RAD kid. There are many RAD parents here who understand what you are going through.

We usually post on the special needs forum. Check it out.

[lucyjoy]

Lots of RAD parenting tips on the special needs board. I have been raising multiple RAD kids for 10 years or more.
It's a whole different world.

[Linny]

We WERE raising RAD kids for several years. I honestly don't know how we did it; nor do we ever wish to do it again. Of all of the 'disorders'.....I really think that RAD is the hardest to deal with.

Sincerely,

Linny

[momraine]

Well Lucy and the other Lorraine said what I was going to say. You need to join all the fun on the special needs boards. These ladies are experts and they totally understand things like poop in the wrong places!

[crick]

You might also check out the "Attachment & Bonding" forum as there are a lot of members that read there for RAD info...

http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=467

[blueprints]

I've got two of the little munchkins. When we decided to adopt, little did we know that.... One day we would wake up straight smack in the middle of crazy! We've had to relearn everything we thought we knew about parenting.

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by blueprints

little did we know that.... One day we would wake up straight smack in the middle of crazy! .

ain't that the truth. we had NO idea for over 3 years! We thought/knew she had all these other emotional probelms, never realizing that this was the biggest one of all! My almost 12 year old doesn't poop in pans, THANK GOD, but sometimes when she opens her mouth to speak I say "shhh!" before any words come out, b/c there is a 99.9999% chance I am about to be set up, lied to, manipulated, or treated poorly. Somedays, I just don't want to hear it. you know? I can not believe that one little girl can turn an entire house upside down! The most recent thing is she began stealing. I found so much of MY stuff in her room. And she saved the evidence of her thievery like trophies...like stealing from me accomplished something. It is so weird! We took all of her stuff. She has nothing but a bed, a dresser, and about 8 outfits, but no toys, books, etc. When I look into her room I am so upset b/c I never wanted to watch my daughter live like this. We have tried everything. The only thing left to do is wait it out until she graduates from high school. Some days I don't even think ANY of us will make it THIS far!

[Sheriv]

I say amen to all the above. It is such a different world parenting a child with RAD. We live such isolated lives and if it weren't for groups like the ones on this forum especially in the special needs area and attachment and bonding as well as for me the group I met through my last therapists office...I'd be a crazy, lonely soul. It is so important to be transparent and have a support group. I use my transparency as a tool to educate the school, our church and even my family about RAD and its broad spectrum and our need for support not ridicule.

See ya!!