[jrp]

My husband and I are beginning the adoption process, are leaning towards international adoption (an Eastern European country) but are concerned about having to travel to a foreign country. We want to travel!! But, he is in a wheelchair and we are worried about the lack of accessibility. I have this horrible image of getting to see our child for the first time and my husband is stuck in another room or area because he can't get to where the child is!

I know most of you are not in a wheelchair but maybe some of you could respond and tell us what country you adopted from and tell us things that you saw or witnessed that would encourage or detour us from adopting there. Any advice or comments are welcome. Thank you!

[sak9645]

I know that most people living with disabilities don't find the U.S. tremendously accommodating. However, the U.S. is FAR ahead of most of the countries from which Americans adopt in terms of sensitivity to the needs of people who use wheelchairs or need other sorts of assistance.

China, for example, has nothing like the Americans With Disabilities Act. Curb cuts are non-existent. Airports and other buildings with stairs or escalators almost never have entrance ramps, elevators, etc. Airplanes are almost always accessed by ladder-like stairs, not jetways. Hotel room or bathroom doors may not be wide enough for wheelchairs. Grab bars on toilets or showers are rare, outside the biggest cities. Stall showers that allow easy entrance are rare; the norm is showers that are part of bathtubs. There are no vans or buses with wheelchair lifts. Restaurant tables that accommodate wheelchairs are unheard of. Braille signs in elevators are non-existent. Smoke detectors that use both sound and light, so that both the blind and the deaf can escape from a fire, are also non-existent. And so on.

As a result, it is very difficult for a person living with a disability to travel to China. We had a woman in our group who had undergone bilateral hip replacements and walked with a crutch. She had huge difficulty, and was in constant pain, but she was an incredibly strong and fit person, and she kept up with the group without complaint. Her husband carried their new son, as she hauled herself up steps, hoisted herself into vans, and so on. But at least she COULD walk. Had she been in a wheelchair, she would not have been able to enter the orphanage or go on any tours, and she would have had to be carried up the stairs onto airplanes.

The good news is that China, unlike the Eastern European countries, does not require both members of a couple to travel. While the China trip is truly delightful and something to be experienced, if possible, it is perfectly OK for one spouse to travel and finalize the adoption, while the other spouse stays home.

China does not allow people to adopt if they have disabilities that would affect their ability to parent and earn a living, or that would shorten their lifespan. However, China HAS accepted many people with disabilities, whose homestudy report and medical report show that they are perfectly capable of working, parenting, and so on, and that their disabilities are not likely to affect their longevity. And some of those people have stayed home, while their able-bodied spouses have traveled.

There are some drawbacks to having only one spouse travel, to be sure. As an example, there is some additional paperwork, such as the I-864 Affidavit of Support, which is carried to China by the adopting parent, and presented at the U.S. Consulate.

Also, the child adopted when only one parent travels, comes home on an IR-4 visa, instead of an IR-3. Children coming home on an IR-4 visa are not considered to have had a final adoption overseas. They do not become automatic citizens until their parents readopt them in their home state or, in some states, until their parents obtain proof that the state will "recognize" their foreign adoption as final. And the parents cannot take the adoption tax credit until the readoption or recognition occurs, which may be in the year FOLLOWING the adoption, not the same year.

But if you want to adopt, I would strongly urge you to consider adopting from China and having your husband remain at home. I know that it's not the "ideal" situation. But do be aware that many families, disabled and able-bodied, choose to have one parent travel; for example, families with young children already in the home often choose this option, if they do not feel comfortable leaving their children with relatives or friends.

By all accounts, bonding is NOT harmed, when one parent stays home. It may take a bit longer, since the child has gotten used to one parent and then has to get used to the other one. But even when both parents travel, many children bond initially to one parent, and take several days or more to feel comfortable with the other parent.

Sharon

[teranga]

I certainly cannot speak for what all countries do and don't have, but I have travelled pretty extensively through SE Asia as well as Africa and things were definitely not made to be accessible by wheelchair. I have not travelled in Eastern Europe--perhaps your agency could answer the question of accessibility best for the countries you are considering. If you don't have an agency yet, most would be perfectly willing to answer your questions to help you make a decision on your adoption. I would call an agency or two which work in the countries you are considering and ask about this. Perhaps there are accomodations those not in wheelchairs are not aware of b/c they have never asked or noticed.

If you find that the countries you are considering are not readily accessible for wheelchairs and if you would both like to see your child for the first time together, I would suggest adopting from a country which allows escorting--such as Korea or Ethiopia or several others. Although it would be sad not to see the country from which your child is coming, perhaps it would be worth it to both experience those first moments with your child, at the same time. You and your baby, and your husband could go back to your child's birthcountry another year, perhaps when s/he is older to see it and at that point I would imagine the drawbacks of traveling there (wherever "there" is) wouldn't seem quite as difficult--when your child is yours and older, as when you are also trying to process an adoption!

One other note. Several years ago I remember seeing an episode of "An Adoption Story" on Lifetime or one of those stations. In the story they profiled that day, the father was in a wheelchair and they followed him (with his wife) down to Colombia for the adoption. So perhaps Colombia is an option (or perhaps they made special arrangements b/c this couple was going to be on t.v.--not sure). I feel silly referencing a t.v. show, but I do remember him going to Colombia to pick up his baby.

[momraine]

I am late responding, but I adopted from Russia and nothing was accesable, I had to go up several flights of stairs to get to court and to the notary and stuff and both are required to travel. I don't know how it would have worked in a wheelchair. (my soon to be son is going to be in a wheelchair, but I am hoping that I can carry him where I need to, until we get home.

[KaydensMama]

I have seen a guy in a wheelchair travel to Gatuemala to adopt on the adoption story. What they did was plan for everything by calling the hotel they were staying at and making sure they would be able to get into and out of the hotel room. and with the plane ride it was pretty easy but his guy was able to boost himself with his arms into a seat. They brought the child to them at the hotel. When they had to go to the court they lifted his chair up over any steps (his wife and helper from their agency there in the country) Things will be fine just plan for having to help move around without all the ramps or get a foldable ramp to use. Just an idea. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find that perfect country to adopt from for you.

[CalandraLark]

Hi, I thought I'd step in on this as I grew up in Eastern Europe half of my childhood and as a grandchild of an MS sufferer, I'm pretty aware of accessibility. There is no way my Grandfather could have visited us, curbs are rarely designed for his moterized wheelchair and our apartment had no elevator.

However, this is not always a big issue, especially if it's non-motorized wheelchair and you plan well. Hungary (where I grew up) has improved significantly in regard to accessibility in the last ten years. In my experience the westernization of the country has a lot of impact on accessibility, even though you don't usually find intentionally disability accessible areas. Hotels, and hospitals are usual elevator equiped and orphanages are usually (not neccessarily always) one story affairs.

I would suggest you lean towards countries like Poland or programs you know are in bigger cities in Russia or the Ukraine. Most of all, find out as much as you can about the schedule for once you arrive and plan as much ahead as you can, to ease the mobility issues if they pop up. In my opinion, Romania in particular is probably not an option if you want to avoid complications.

Feel free to pm me with specific questions if you want to.

[momraine]

I am in Poland right now adopting a child in a wheelchair. It has been difficult. In one hotel we had to carry our son up two flights of stairs. While it is true there are bigger cities, your child may not be in one. I am now in an apartment in Warsaw, and while it has an elevator (good thing, we are on the 8th floor!) many buildings do not. To go to sign a paper we had to sign at the notary we had to go up two flights of stairs. We had to leave the wheelchair and carry my son, the steps were very steep and it would have been very difficult to carry the chair up. Court was on the third floor of a building with no elevators. There are very few curb cuts so when we have to go out to get food we have to go over the curbs. A foldable ramp would be hard to travel with on a plane and would not have worked on the very steep steps we had to deal with. Guatamala is shorter trip so perhaps it would be more do-able, there are also still a few countries who will escort or let one parent travel.