[jenp]

We have to bio children a boy (7) and a girl(4) and we are getting ready to adopt 2 siblings (a boy 7 and a girl 4) from Russia. Yes two sets of "twins" Our house has 4 bedrooms... so obviously someone is going to have to share. My first thought was to put the two adopted siblings into a room together for a short period of adjustment into the new home(like 6 mos) and then put the boy in with my bio son. But a friend suggested that I should get all the pain over at once and put both 4 yr old girls together and both 7 year old boys together to promote bonding from the get go. I put out the question on the general adoption forum and there seemed to be HUGE concerns over possible behavioral problems from past sexual abuse to the adopted children (I have been told of none) First is this really a large concern for children that have been adopted from Russia and Second... what sleeping arrangements do you think all the children will find the most beneficial?????

[KilleDowns]

I personally think it would be best to put the 2 girls together and the 2 boys together. It would not only start the bonding, but also put a feeling of equality on all of them. Good luck.

[becky]

I don't know about your homestudy agency...but our social worker made it pretty clear that only same sex children could be sharing a bedroom.

You may want to put the girls together, since they are younger and let the boys each have their own room. Obviously, you need to speak to your biological children about coming to you if ANYTHING is happening to make them feel uneasy, or uncomfortable.

Good Luck and congratulations!

Becky

[hjdeth]

The current theory is that it is very good for children to share a room with siblings. It teaches them to share and compromise.

Personally, I would put the girls in one room and the boys in another. Then I would turn the extra bedroom into an activity/study room unless you already have one. With 4 kids in that age group, it is nice to have an area that is for communal playing, but is not anyone's bedroom.

[lucyjoy]

I'd put the girls together and the boys in seperate rooms. Be sure to talk with your kids about touching(I'm sure you have, but do it again.) Remind them they can come to you with anything that bothers them(I'm sure you've done this to, I just always do this everytime we add a new child because you never know what they might have been through).

Boys are way more competitive than girls(argue if you want, but that's my opinion) and because they're older, privacy will soon be more of an issue to them.

[Bcelli]

I agree with Hannah - boys in one room - girls in the other and use the third as an activity/study room. Perfect solution where everyone comes out even. Regarding sexual abuse issues - certainly it is something you'll want to ask about but I haven't heard of many problems of that nature with Russian children. (My son is Russian and I have met several older Russian adoptees and there were no bahavioral problems at all - of any nature). It would certainly depend on the home situation from which the children came. Good luck. Sounds like you'll have your hands joyously full.

[dl]

I must admit that I have no practical knowledge of this situation, but my opinion for what it is worth goes along with the previous posters. The boys should share and the girls should share. That is how it usually works out in most families and will start things off and encourage male/male bonding and female/female bonding.
It will also encourage the merging of all the children as a family instead of separate, which segregating the new children to a room together would indicate. The extra room can be used as a group play room type room.
Best of Luck.