[gkasche]

Lisa,
That is great to hear. Now...I am really hoping to see some posts from others who are caucasian and have successfully adopted biracial or AA babies and are open to sharing who they used as an agency. I think PA seems to still be too strict. I have heard Ohio is better. Come on everyone...give out some good info if you have adopted this way. I am not interested in any agency that charges an arm and a leg. I didn't pay the huge fees for my Indian children and I am not about to do it in the U.S. either. I plan to stay in close contact with Patty Anglin and her organization Acres of Hope. This is not an adoption agency...but rather an organization which specializes in finding homes for babies who are special needs...and yes...it is embarassing to say that in this day and age...AA is considered special needs strictly due to race. I find it unreal that that mentality still exists today. So sorry CaliforniaJenn for dominating your thread. I hope you are finding some of this venting of mine worth reading. This has all just brought back to mind what we went through years ago. Why is it so hard to adopt a waiting child...it should be the easiest thing to do. If in the future we run into the same small mindedness we did before...we will check out Haiti. There is a wonderful inexpensive agency there called God's Littlest Angels. They are ALWAYS looking for parents for their babies/toddlers. Just my two cents...I'll try to stay off this posting for some time...I don't want to offend anyone. God Bless everyone in all their adoption adventures. Karen

[CaliforniaJenn]

Don't worry about dominating the thread. I am finding reading about your experiences very interesting. I can't believe they pulled approval for that family because they didn't own a TV! Honestly I think a family that doesn't own a TV is doing their children a great service! (I've broached the subject with my husband, though he won't hear a thing of it! ) I honestly do believe that there is a level of bigotry against the devoutedly religious these days, especially Christian. Sheesh it's a good thing I'm a member of a minority religion (I'm Baha'i) or I might encounter the same thing!

Then again, that business about the AA babies really makes you think. At first I was thinking it might be because a disproportionate number of those babies might be born with drug exposure, but then I realized you specified "healthy" and also that it was only males. Then I realized the real reason, I think, is because people stereotype the African American male child as a juvenille delinquent. As sad as that is, I can't think of any other reason, can you? Of course the irony is, the only reason that stereotype exists in the first place is because there are so many boys in the AA community without a stable family or stable father figures, so neglecting to adopt these little boys is only going to perpetuate the problem and the stereotype - for every baby that is placed in a loving home has every opportunity to grow into a socially healthy and well-adjusted individual. (Forgive me for the blunt statements, but I strive to talk about truth as opposed to skirting around issues with political correctness... there's a saying about if there's a rhinoserous in the room, you have to acknowledge it) It really sickens me to think that they would not place an AA child with your family. I mean God forbid we start integrating races a bit more huh?

[lisa in venice]

gkasche,
just one more thing. I wanted to address your statement about making assumptions about people who adopt internationally instead of taking AA children here. I think your struggle is not unique when it comes to prying AA children out of the system and other who had the same experience did what you did and adopted internationally but (and it's a big but) MANY people who adopt transracially will adopt chidlren of every other race but AA and are quite upfront about that. When I asked on another bb a couple of years ago and specified people who had made that leap of adopting children that clearly would not look like them why they hadn't chosen to adopt domestically there were three reasons: fear of birth parents, fear of openness, and the most common one was a discomfort with parenting chidlren with any AA heritage. For me that means that Asian children, hispanic children, all other non white chidlren are more exceptable than AA children. I see people adopted children far darker than I am or any of my chidlren who stated in their profiles that they couldn't consider chidlren with one black grand parent. Sorry to say it but I find that incredibly messed up. And maybe I take it more personally because we are talking about chidlren who look like me and my chidlren.

I see peple being far more offended at being asked that question than they are at being asked why they didn't pursue adopting a CC infant here. When asked that, folks give very reasonable reasons but when asked why an Indian baby from Guatemala vs a biracial baby here with half the cost and half the paperwork and you get a suspicisous amout of indignation. It is these people who cast international adopters as racist. Sorry you are suffering from being painted with the same brush.

lisa

[gkasche]

Dear Lisa,
You are so wise in your words. I can clearly see that you have had great thought and education concerning adoption issues...especially those of AA children. You are so right when it comes to some families who consider every child BUT that of AA heritage. We were not one of those families. We would have loved to be able to adopt here...but were not given the chance. BUT...like I said before...that was some years ago...and we are a different "type" of family now. Transracial and adoptive...so maybe the next time around the decision will be up to us...not to a opinionated Social Worker picking us apart clearly on the color of OUR skin. When we set out to adopt...we never once looked at a caucasian child. We were all too aware that they usually are snatched first. I had always known my adopted daughter would have brown skin...I used to dream about it....but I took that to mean AA or biracial...little did I know that God had other plans. After beating my head against the wall over trying to find her for three years...there she was in India! I am thinking maybe of trying infant foster care out of one of the big cities here. The babies come from birth mom to stay with us until either she decides to parent or the baby goes on to the adoptive family. If there is not an adoptive family lined up to take the baby...then maybe we will finally have a chance. Red, brown, yellow, black and white...they are ALL precious in His sight. Take care...Karen

[Kudrya]

Hi!
My name is Natalka Kudria. I live in Kiev, the capital of Ukraine. My business is to help to foreign parents to adopt children from Ukrainian orphanages. If you are interested to have children from Ukraine I could help you with the following:
- Previous and further consulting about legal procedures of adoption, required documents and budgeting (For FREE)
- Logistic services: Picking up you at the airport, if you come to Ukraine, reservation of railway tickets, hotels and apartments for prices convenient for you.
- Meetings with officers from the Adoption Center within Ministry of Education of Ukraine.
- All kinds of contacts with authorities.
- Translation (from English into Ukrainian and vice versa) of current documents, interpretation discussions and speeches during the case listening in the Court.
- Presentation of the parents’ interest in the Ukrainian Government Institutions.
I am doing this business almost three years. I know for you it is not very big extend, but some five years ago it was prohibited for foreigners to adopt children from Ukraine. For today the legal situation has changed and orphanages of my country are available for international adoption.
For references you can address to my recent adopters: thomas.tilly@swipnet.se (Marie-Line and Tomas Tilly from Sweden)
So, I am available for contacts: nata@ugh.kiev.ua and kudrya@prontomail.com
Your sincerely,
Natalka Kudria

[parsgome]

I have throughly enjoyed this thread and have learned alot. I have been married 4 years and been trying for children for 3 years. We have tried feritily meds but they aren't doing the trick so we are contemplating going to a fertility doctor... the thing is... all my life I knew I would adopt. Funny thing is my husband had a strong feeling he would adopt children as well. We also know we want to adopt a Male of African desent and a Female of Hispanic desent. I don't know if I will ever be able to have my own children but I am concerned that if I adopt my 2 dears first and end up having biological children also it might cause problems? This is almost the opposite situation of Jenn's but has anyone had experience with adopting children and then having biologically children as well? How is the family dynamics? Since the children we really want to adopt (as in I already can see their sweet faces in my dreams...) are going to be of different racial backgrounds is this going to change the family dynamics if we ever end up having biological kids? Thank you for your thoughts.

[spaypets]

We also adopted from India. Our daughter, who has been home three months, was 18 months when we picked her up.

We were nervous that she wound up being so "old" -- we had thought we would get a child closer to 12 months. However, it has turned out to be exactly the right thing for us.

She is exactly on target developmentally as far as we can see. Her pediatrician, who had suggested early intervention testing when he saw her the day after we got home, told us not to bother when he saw her a month later. She is talking and has been since about week 2 at home.

It's obvious to us that she received loving care at the orphanage in India. She had listen to music, knew about clapping in time, had been read to and held. We had been told that she heard some English at the orphanage, though we don't know if that's so. It doesn't matter. At this age, they are programed to acquire language, so she's been picking up words right and left.

She's absolutely healthy -- hasn't even had a runny nose. We tested her titre and she'd had the vaccines that they said she had (though the measles came up a little low -- we'll redo that one).

The only hold over from institutionalization is her preference for a bottle, but since the SW say giving a bottle promotes attachment, we're not concerned. She is learning to drink from a cup, though won't use a sippy cup, so we're using water to learn.

We were a little concerned that my inlaws might have a problem with her dark skin because this whole idea of transcultural adoption is out of their experience, though we knew they'd be polite because they are civil people, just products of their upbringing. But they are absolutely in love with her.

I don't think there's anything wrong with adopting when you have bio kids. These kids need homes. Better to adopt a kid that's here than to overpopulate the world.

[lynnor]

Since you are open to any race, I wouldn't rule out domestic adoption. The greatest need domestically is parents for African American infants. The wait can be quite short. A cousin of mine adopted a healthy AA girl at 2 mo. age and they have 3 bio boys.

Now for my disclosure...
We went international. Thought about AA but when we were completely honest with ourselves, weren't sure we would be able to help the child appropriately deal with racism the child would encounter. (seems AA have it worse off than any other group in the US) And this is even though we live in a neighborhood/community of many races. I feel more comfortable now with being able to handle situations so would be open to domestic AA adoption in the future.

Another factor to consider: paperwork. There is a TON of paperwork for international. Want to learn how to navigate BCIS? Then go international.