[Manda]

I am 22 (23 in December) and My husband will turn 24 in April of 2003. We are both excited about adopting. We have a few factors that have kind of put a monkey-wrench into the whole process.

First of all my husband is in the military, and we just relocated to Germany for a three year tour. We want to start the process as soon as possible, and had thought the fact that we will be 'stabilized' for three years would work in our favor. However, I have been reading that Germany allows adoption only after the age of 25. I am willing to wait. I am just frustrated that I may have to wait! (does that make sense?)

Do you know if I have to follow Germany ordinances on adoption if technically I am an American?

Any advice would be wonderful.

[Anita]

Nobody can tell you if you are too young to have a child. People start families younger than you. If the rules are such in Germany, than I guess if you want a child of German descent you will have to wait.

If your husband is in the military, will he be around to help you as the your child(ren) are transitioning into your family? If he is not, are you ready to handle it by yourself? If you have to wait until you are 25 in Germany, then you would only have a year left in residing in Germany correct?

Does your child have to be of German descent? There are other countries who might have different age requirements. I would recommend looking at the US State Department's website on international adoption regarding adoptions in Germany to maybe answer some of your questions.
http://travel.state.gov/adopt.html

I wish you luck in your journey.

Hello, my husband is active duty army. We adopted our first daughter when we were 23. Is there a particular reason you want to adopt in Germany vs. in the US? If you do US I would suggest waiting till you come back here. We have never had a problem working with an agency, but they do want both parents involved. I know being in Germany requires a lot of work hours on an active duty member. If you are willing to wait till you come back to the states I would research the different laws and agencies around bases. For ex, we were in TX. they have great laws for adoptive families and we worked with a great agency. I don't think bp's are turned off by military, but again they want to know you are stable so you know you have a couple of years coming off an overseas tour. Have you looked into a compassionate reassignment? I don't know if that is an option?

[Manda]

I appreciate the quick responses, and all the information. After I posted my initial post I got on the phone with a bunch of different places. (Ugh.) From what I understand (still doing research) it is the Army Community Service and the Legal Assistance Department here that is requiring my husband and I to be 25 before we can adopt. That is if we want to use THEIR services.

I was relieved after speaking to Social Services that we have to option to pursue adoption through other resources. I can't tell you how dissappointed I was when I thought the whole process was on hold due to our age.

BTW One of the reasons we are pursuing adoption on this end (Germany,) rather then relocating or waiting until we return to the states is that my husband is in a position here where he is assigned to an all Garrison (non-deployable) unit. Something that is a first for us. I would love... and perfer that he be as completely involved in this process as I am. To assure that he has the best opportunity to be involved we need to get the ball rolling while we know he will be home to help.

We'll see how this works out. If you can't tell we are just in the preliminaries of the adoption process.

[bhoar]

I have not posted too much, but ran into this thread and would like to throw in something to checkout. When we were doing our adoption search, we were told that Germany is not a "sending" country, meaning that the children are not placed in other countries, so you may want to check this out. It seemed that only German citizens were able to adopt. Maybe rules have changed, this was back in 1996. Good luck...

[sak9645]

you probably can do just fine.

1. You have to satisfy a homestudy provider. Some homestudy providers may not feel comfortable with younger parents, but I think that if you can demonstrate a stable marriage, economic stability, etc., you will do fine.

2. You have to satisfy the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service if you are an American and want to adopt from another country. The INS says that you have to be 25 if you are single, but has no age minimum for married people; however, they do have to review your homestudy report and see that you have been favorably recommended.

3. You have to satisfy the foreign country from which you are adopting. Be aware that you simply will not be able to adopt from any Western European country. Just as in the U.S., there are few healthy infants available and long waiting lists among people who are citizens. The few children available will be older or have major special needs. You will need to choose a country in Africa (only three are open, I believe), Asia, Eastern Europe, or Latin America. Some countries require that you be at least 25, and a few -- like China -- require that you be even older; China says that both partners in a married couple must be 30 or older.