[JenniWin]

Hi!

I was looking for advice/perspectives on how people chose the country that they ultimately adopted from?

Right now we are considering Ethiopia and Russia - two vastly different countries, each with their issues, each with their strengths. Personally, my DH doesn't care which country we adopt from, but for me there are so many things to consider, such as cost, health of the children (we are planning on adopting siblings,) racial identity in a interracial adoption, FAS, wait time for referral of siblings, etc.

How did you choose which country to go with, and do you have any advice for parents who are still at this stage in their adoption journey?

[karla-k]

The first thing is to determine if you qualify for both programs. Assuming you do, at this point it comes down to some personal issues.

How do you feel about transracial adoption?
How do feel your extended families would deal with having a black child(ren) in your family?

Is the cost difference between the two programs a determining factor? It is for many families. Russia is going to cost you about $60,000 for two kids, Ethiopia considerably less, like half of that.

the travel requirements for each of those programs is a determining factor for many families. For Ethiopia you will spend about 10-14 days traveling, for Russia the travel is much more extensive. This can make adopting from Russia impossible for some families b/c of job situations, children at home, etc.

For us, in the beginning, we were choosing between Kazakhstan, Russia and possibly China. We crossed China off the list b/c of the wait time and we were not open to special needs. We really wanted a child who was not necessarily caucasian, so we chose Kyrgyzstan's relatively new program. The program shut down just weeks before we were to bring our son home. We have been waiting for over a year to bring him home now.

For round two, we had Uganda, Ethiopia, Russia and China Waiting Child programs to choose from. Our agency was not accepting applications for Ethiopia, so that was crossed off the list, Uganda was too "iffy" for us given our experience in Kyrgyzstan. Russia was just too expensive, and again, we didn't really want a caucasion child, so China it is! The cost fits in our budget and we will finally have that little Asian beauty we have dreamed about forever. In our two year journey of IA, we have learned many things about special needs and God has opened our hearts to these children.

I hope that helps. In some instances, it really comes down to a personal preference and I truly believe there is no "this country is the right choice and this one is the wrong choice." There are children in both countries who need families

[Sher973]

We are in the process of adopting from Poland. Originally we were going to adopt from China.

When it turned out wait times were 3 - 4 years we started researching. We didn't know Poland was a possibility until I stumbled across it on an agency website.

For us it came down to my husband being half Polish. We also like the adoption program. We are considering either one child or two siblings. There. Is no different in fees for sibling groups from Poland.

[ripples]

I'd suggest also considering only countries that are signatories to the Hague Convention to ensure as best as possible that you aren't unknowingly receiving children who've been trafficked.

Here's a docco that was aired on 2 March 2010 in Australia about some rather allegedly misleading practices in countries like Ethiopia U.S.A. - Fly Away Home - Foreign Correspondent - ABC

While I can appreciate the factors of which countries are cheaper, easier and/or faster in the adoption process, according to one of the government-run adoption agencies in Australia, here are some additional questions to consider regarding intercountry adoption:

What is intercountry or cross-cultural adoption?

It is important to consider that adopting a child who has ethnic origins different from

your own is quite different from adopting a locally born child. It is also important that
after reading the material in this information kit you consider whether you are genuinely
able to meet the substantial responsibility involved in adopting a child from an overseas
country. It is suggested that you discuss your adoption proposal with members of your
family with whom you have close ties and regular contact, and with your closest friends to
gauge their views.
While you will be invited to nominate three countries of interest, it is only possible to be
approved as prospective adoptive parents for one overseas country.
Information about specific overseas adoption programs and eligibility criteria will be
discussed at education sessions.
It is important to consider the problems that can arise in cross-cultural adoption,
including:

• how you would cope if prejudice is expressed towards your child:

– when the child goes to school and other children make hurtful remarks? School

can be a devastating experience for a child who is different. The child cannot
live out their life in the wonderful cocoon of a home environment
– when the child is more mature and experiences difficulty in social situations

• how you would handle the patronising and condescending attitude of members of

the community who make statements such as ‘how good you are to adopt such a

child’ or ‘how lucky the child is to have been rescued from poverty’

• would you be able to unconditionally accept a child who does not meet all your

expectations

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• what would you do if your adopted child experienced an identity crisis during

adolescence and had feelings of being different or of being isolated from the rest of

the family

• could you envisage your strong, warm, maternal or paternal feelings towards the child

dwindling once the ‘cute’ childish features disappear or the child begins to assert

their personality during adolescence

• what would you do if the child exhibited behavioural problems such as rejection

of your love, constant crying, temper tantrums, bed-wetting, destructiveness or

complete withdrawal, due to former emotional deprivation

• could you afford medical attention if the child placed with you has suffered from

malnutrition or other conditions common in under‑developed countries

• how you would raise the child placed with you? What information would you give the

child about their background, culture and country of origin? How and when would

you impart this knowledge?

It is important to examine your feelings about ethnic background and culture

Do you relate to some ethnic groups more than others? What do you know about other

cultures? If you find yourself thinking ‘not too dark’, ‘mostly European’, ‘the lighter the
better’, it might be helpful to ask yourself ‘do I really mean the whiter the better?’
Everyone has prejudices. It is important that couples who are considering cross-cultural
adoption are honest with themselves so they can deal with their prejudices. Unless you
can accept a child’s ethnic and cultural background, you should reassess your decision to
adopt a child from overseas.
Do you think it is a good idea:

• to have books at home with stories and illustrations about the child's cultural and

social origins

• to take the child to museums, art exhibitions and concerts to see and hear cultural

events which reflect the child’s cultural heritage

• for the family to discuss adoption and ethnic background following a topical item on

television or radio

• to introduce topics yourselves rather than wait for the child to ask?

The child may feel confused if parents fundamentally disagree on these issues, so it is

important that they are discussed before you proceed with adoption.
Will it be possible to identify with your adopted child so that when you hear a racist
remark you will feel as if the speaker were talking about you? If you do, how would you

respond?

Think about the responsibilities of raising a child with different racial
characteristics in a predominantly Caucasian community

Some children adopted from overseas will be placed with adoptive parents who reflect
the wide racial and cultural diversity of Australia’s population, and may share the same
ethnic origins as their adoptive parents. This child may make the transition to life in
Australia, while still being exposed frequently to similar cultural experiences as those of
their culture of origin.
However, a child with different racial characteristics raised in a Caucasian family is
not, cannot and must not be raised as a Caucasian child in a brown skin because the

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community they live in does not see them this way. The community sees the child as
Indian, Korean, Sri Lankan, or of some other nationality.
Children with different ethnic backgrounds are likely to experience prejudice at
some stage of their lives in Australia. If they are living with parents of a similar ethnic
background they can turn to them for comfort and support as their parents have learned,
through experience, how to cope.
Parents of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds to their adopted child do not have
personal experience of their culture. They are not the recipients of folklore and song
handed down through generations. However, they can educate themselves by reading
and making contact with a range of ethnic groups or associations. When a child is
adopted by a family from a different ethnic background the normal requirements of love,

understanding and concern are vital aspects of the child’s life, but they are not enough.