[LEJ8]

Can someone please enlighten me on why it is getting so difficult for single women to adopt internationally? I've spoken to several agencies, and no one has really answered my question. There are only a few countries that even allow singles to adopt, and many of them only allow single women to adopt special needs children. Today I spoke with an agency that told me Ethiopia is going to limit singles, too!

I thought with this global economic recession, adoption would be easier b/c orphanages would be getting too full of children. Is it that many countries are no longer as poor--which would be a great thing. However, if the US is experiencing hard times, I would think other countries would be worse...

[LockStock]

Countries are looking for the best home for the child, and many officials feel that a two-parent home is better for the child. With a limited number of "healthy" infants, countries have become more selective about the families that adopt within their borders.

Single women will have more success if they are open to older children, children with special needs, sibling groups, etc. If a single woman is hoping to adopt a female, under 18 months, no special needs, etc. it's going to be a very difficult and time-consuming process (more so than it is for couples).

If you think it's difficult for a single woman to adopt, how about the limits for a single man? How about a homosexual couple? A PAP whose BMI is considered too high? As difficult as it can be for a single woman, it's much more difficult (if not impossible) for others.

[sugarandspice697]

Basically, there are fewer and fewer healthy babies available for international adoption because they are being adopted domestically. In most of the countries that are available for international adoption, its considered taboo to raise a child without a father or to have a baby outside of wedlock. Therefore, the officals in many countries feel that a child will have a "better life" if they are raised in a two parent family.

Also more Americans are interested in adopting internationally compared to just 10 years ago. International adoption has nearly doubled in the past ten years but the number of countries open to international adoption has not. 10 years ago you could bring home a young baby in less than 1 year. Nowadays, people are waiting 18-36+ months to bring home older infants and toddlers.

Another reason is because many countries that were available for international adoption have closed completely because of trafficking or the citizen of that country hated international adoption.

Finally, there were a few "singles" that were actually LGBT couples pretending to be single. I remember many years ago at our local LGBT center, a few LGBT adoptive parent were bragging about how they "skirted" the adoption laws to adopt babies from China, Russia, India and Guatemala. The officals in these countries were not happy about this situation and therefore created laws that prohibited singles from adopting altogether or put limits on how many adults can live in your home.

If your truely interested in international adoption, I highly suggest you be open to a few things:

1. Be open to an older child (ages 5+)
2. Be open to sibling groups with one or both children over the age of three (there are many couples who will consider twins and young sibling groups - especially if one of them is a girl)
3. Be open to special needs
4. Be open to a more expensive country like Russia or Kazakhstan
5. Be open to adopting domestically
6. Be open to waiting a long time for a matched. I would think its realistic to expect a wait time of 12-36+ months for a referral

[stllc116]

I think that international adoption has become more difficult for everyone in the last few years due to a combination of things including increased interest in adoption and several countries closing due to the Haugue convention. Even for couples on waiting lists in countries like China and Columbia are now waiting for years. The high "demand" has made it easy for countries to become more selective.

I'm in process to adopt international as a single women myself so I can understand the frustration. Especially since being "single" or "married" isn't a permanent condition.

Good luck in your search! If you are set on international adoption and you feel you can handle a little more risk and uncertainty in the process then you may want to get creative in your search. Start looking at countries with small programs or pilot programs. I'm not an expert on any of these, but maybe look into places like Burundi, Nicaragua, Armenia......

[ladyjubilee]

Originally Posted by LEJ8

I thought with this global economic recession, adoption would be easier b/c orphanages would be getting too full of children. Is it that many countries are no longer as poor--which would be a great thing. However, if the US is experiencing hard times, I would think other countries would be worse...

Many of the countries from which Westerners adopt do not share "western" ideas about women. To be raised by a single women in those areas is to be raised in houses of the poorest of the poorest. Single women with children in many of these countries struggle to provide food, clothing and shelter for their children.....and quite frankly, single women with children may well be looked upon with suspicion by the community---after all, how did they get those children? What to us isn't even a moral question can be a huge issue. Now put yourself in the position of birth parents from those countries or even the birth community---which is better, life in an "orphanage" which may well be supported by rich Western benefactors and have a high standard of living than many in the population (I'm not saying high in comparison to Western standards, but by local standards), where the children can have some contact with (living) parents, relatives and the community.....or have them sent abroad to live with the poorest of the poor, who has "western values" and will severe their communal ties?

Now as alluded to above, add to the mix that Western folks have tried to mislead sending countries, have circumvented their laws (even portrayed those laws as backward and irrelevant), I guess the bigger question is why even a few trust enough to allow Westerns to take some of their greatest treasures.

[sugarmuffin]

I am single and was seriously considering International Adoption until I got all the info. It is tuff BUT not impossible so hang in there and don't give up if its what you truly want. I ended up with a darling child born right here in the U.S but her birth mother is Jamacian. Interesting huh?