[mommytoEli]

don't make any decisions while you are sleep deprived. lol. it does get better. they learn to sleep pretty quickly usually. my dh was the one caring for our first newborn fosterson (who became our son), and i will never forget the night he woke me up crying, "you have to take this baby, i am so tired!" lol. poor guy! it had been a month since he had slept well ( i was working but dh was off for the summer) and he just needed a break! we got through it though, and would not have traded that experience for the world. turns out he is the ONLY newborn we have ever cared for that we adopted. all of our other kids came in various stages of older. i'm glad we got that newborn experience. yes, it made us tired, but it was totally worth it.

hang in there, and good luck on whatever path you choose!

[Janelee]

We adopted a 2.5 year old earlier this year and I want to tell you that the sleep deprivation continues at this stage. Early on, I wondered if I would really have been upset if her birthmom had turned up wanting her back, I just was so exhausted and overwhelmed, frustrated that I couldn't satisfy her no matter what I did, etc. I had wonderful relationships with kids in my family and would never have thought I couldn't cope with our child (had prepared ourselves with lots of reading and counseling too!) I was demoralized at how inadequate and overwhelmed I felt. So I totally get how you are feeling. Give it time and remember how stressful it is for the little one, not easy when you feel you'll die from exhaustion. Try to get yourself a break (to sleep!) whenever you can. We adore her, and it gets easier as you get to know each other and feel more confident as a parent. However...our daughter has been waking every morning this week at 4 a.m and not going back to sleep. I literally burst into tears a few mornings ago at the prospect of dragging myself through a day of work with so little sleep. I keep hearing the sleeping gets better after about age 4!

[sugarmuffin]

Early on, I wondered if I would really have been upset if her birthmom had turned up wanting her back

That is just too funny......how very honest!!

I adopted domestic because i really, really wanted an infant. But if i had the resources I would love to adopt internationally as well.

Goodluck.

[anilorak13ska]

Thank you all for your feedback and advice. Baby V has been with us now 6 weeks, and we have adjusted to each other quite nicely.

The only thing I'm a bit disappointed about is that had we had this lack of self-confidence as new parents by birth, everyone would have been supportive from the beginning, reassuring us that we just need to give it time. But since we are first-time parents through foster care, temporarily, and to an older baby, most of our family and friends agreed with our expressions of doubt in ourselves and agreed that we may want to adopt an older child if we feel overwhelmed with a baby. That's been quite a blow.

But now we are all fine, we have a routine, and I understand completely that no matter the age of the child, there will be challenges that will be new to us that we will have to overcome. Note to self, don't seek support among folks who haven't adopted or fostered before.

Thanks to all of you, though, again