[mamae]

So, imagine this situation:

Couple host child from Ukraine. they get a homestudy. Child is AMAZING, loving, etc. Great fit to their family.

They are pretty much ready to adopt... Mom discover to be 3 months pregnant (no, there was never a fertility issue. They just decided they wanted to adopt first)...

Baby was... well... a gift of God, of course, but unexpected.

So... now it comes to it... It is an independent adoption, homestudy is done, adoption can happen before baby is born... so no one really can say no (there is no rule on country against it).

Parents WANT both, child and baby. Everybody around says it is crazy and unfair to both: the child and the baby.

Has anyone done it before? how did it work for you?

[devildogwife]

I have a couple thoughts/questions. I know a little about Ukrainian adoption as my parents adopted 2 teens from Odessa last Christmas. The timing on this would be of a huge concern to me. It can take a while to get an appointment with the SDA (or whatever they're called now), which both parents must be there for, and definitely for court. Ukraine would not be a good place to travel as a pregnant woman about to deliver, and would the mom be comfortable leaving a newborn babe behind for a few weeks (at minimum) to get things done in Ukraine? Do you know if they're accepting any more dossiers for 2009? It was a miracle that my parents got a 2008 date for two older teenagers, so you may want to check in to how long things are taking now.

I don't think there is a thing wrong with giving birth to a biological child and adopting a child. I do however think it would be difficult to parent a newborn and an older child, who may have behavior issues after being institutionalized. If you feel it's right and can work out the timing on everything, best of luck to you.

Another recommendation is to locate a good attachment therapist beforehand, just incase the need arises after you're home with the child.

[mamae]

apointments are faster for older adoption lately... We have been following cases and people are getting to travel faster...

Regardless, mom would be round 6 months by the travel time...

[TxMom65]

I adopted an 8 year old from US foster care. She was relatively easy compared to many stories I"ve heard and it was still all consuming. I'm not saying it can't be done, but it would be hard.