[tiredmom77]

We recently got our referral for our son from Ethiopia. He is fourteen months old, and we hope to bring him home over the summer or maybe fall, so we are looking at him being 18-24 months old when he comes home.

We have decided to translate his name into the english version of what his ethiopian name is- it sounds similar, sort of. I am wondering, if you changed your child's name, what process did you go through to introduce it to your child, and what was the response? Did you start calling them the new name right away, or did you alternate?

Also, he is not circumsized- don't want to get into a debate about this, I know it can be a hot topic, but I am just curious what people's expereince is. We have another son who is circumsized, and I think dh would like for our new son to be too. I don't feel as strongly about it, and may lean towards not doing it, but I would love to hear opinions/expereinces with doing it at this age.

Thanks!

[DPline]

My son came home from Guatemala at 20 months old. We immediately started calling him by his new name - Daniel. Quite honestly even if we had called him by his birthname - Julio - when we said it it sounded totally different with our American accents than it did when his foster family said it. He started responding to his name very quickly.


My older son is circumcized, but since there wasn't any medical reason to have it done and DH didn't feel strongly about it we did not have Daniel circumcized when he came home.

Hope that helps!

[hml1976]

We also decided not to circumsize our son. Not really because we were anti-circ but because it involved general anaesthesia which we try to avoid if possible.

We also changed both of our kids names, but they were quite a bit younger than your son will be. My personal opinion on names is just to do whatever you want as long as the child is young enough to adapt.

[sak9645]

Nowadays, the American Academy of Pediatrics states that routine circumcision does not offer any health benefits, and that it is recommended only if there are certain specific medical issues, or if the family's religious beliefs require it.

There is some evidence that, in countries where it is culturally acceptable for a male to have multiple sexual partners, including prostitutes, and where condom use is generally unacceptable, circumcision may reduce the risk that a given male will acquire HIV. However, condom use alone can also reduce the risk of HIV transmission significantly.

I am Jewish. I have a daughter, but no sons. If I had sons, I would circumcise them for religious reasons. However, if I were not Jewish, I would probably not circumcise.

Sharon

[momraine]

I know some people have called the child by thier new name/old name or old name/new name and then gradually dropped the old name. My son needed a circ for medical reasons. (adhesions) To be honest it was very difficult. The recovery was tough and certainly did not help the bonding. We had been home six months and it really set the bonding back. He had a lot of pain.

[sak9645]

To add to an earlier post:

My daughter was 18.5 mo. old when I met her in China. She showed no sign of recognizing her Chinese name, even when it was spoken by Chinese people. I used her American nickname, Becca, and she began recognizing it within days.

Sharon

[DPline]

One other thought also. You might look into your insurance coverage regarding circumcision. From discussion on the Guat board, it seems that with an older child it usually must be done by a specialist under general anaesthesia (sp??) and some insurance plans will not cover it without a medical reason.

[Bunnygirl]

I researched this topic for my own son (whom we ended up deciding not to circumcise). There's a good article about it at RainbowKids.com Adoption Information, Support, Child Photolistings, Articles and Resources in their Voices of Adoption section, written by a pediatrician. It's very unbiased and talks about what's involved in circumcising a toddler or older child. The main thing for us was that once a child is no longer a newborn it is more complicated and involves an overnight hospital stay, because general anesthesia must be used. Also, the procedure must be performed by a pediatric urologist rather than by the mom's OB or a Mohel, which is the way it's usually done with a newborn. If you decide NOT to circumcise at first and your son decides later on that he does want to be circumcized as an adult (or older teenager), it can be done under local anesthesia on an out-patient basis (since adults can be trusted to hold still during the procedure).

So far our son's been home with us for close to a year & he has had no problems with the foreskin -- I just wash him all over with a soapy washcloth.

[Ladyofmoonlight]

Our son is also from Ethiopia, he came home at 24 months and was also uncircumcised, and we did change his name.

DH is uncircumcised and would prefer we not circumcise children with no medical reason so that was easy for us, but you and your DH may want to think about it a bit. It does still involve anesthesia and doesn't seem to protect much from any diseases so you may choose against it.

As for the name, we called our son by a common nickname of his (Tari) when we first met him and continued that for a week or so but once we were home and everyone was calling him by his new name we decided to just switch over. He figured it out very quickly, and seeing as how the whole language was new to him it just went along with everything else. We noticed pretty quickly that he actually became scared when we said his Ethiopian name and this continues even today, though he doesn't start crying unless you keep saying it. I just assume that name is associated in his mind with a considerable amount of trauma (being called that name by caretaker after caretaker, hearing it a lot during a very scary point in his life).

Good luck and I hope you get to travel sooner rather than later!