[spectrecat]

Aside from meeting the country's requirements, what other factors contributed to your decision? We qualify for a number of countries, so we're trying to choose which one now.

Some of our considerations are length of time in country (we have 2 boys- 3 and 18 months) and the length of time waiting for a referral.

Right now, we're comparing/considering Russia, South Korea and Ethiopia...and we're feeling led toward them all for various reasons.

Also, did you select a country before an agency? It seems to make sense to go that route....but I don't know how most people do it.

Thanks!
Keriann

[ocracoke]

I picked a country first. And while that was actually a fairly easy thing for me to do I think there is an advantage to doing this in some cases. Not all agencies work in all countries. So I picked a country (Ethiopia in my case) and then I found out what agencies worked in Ethiopia and only researched them. Some people prefer to pick an agency that they feel comfortable with then pick from the countries they work in.

Samantha

[sak9645]

You should definitely select a country before selecting an agency.

The main reason is that not all agencies work in all countries. As an example, if you are looking for an NSN infant from Korea, you MUST use an agency that is licensed by the Korean government to place children with families in your home state. Your home state probably has only one or two agencies with Korea programs. On the other hand, if you are adopting from Russia, you need to use an agency anywhere in the U.S. that is accredited by the Russian government.

Also, an agency may have an excellent program in one country, but a new and untested one in another. It is really important to choose an agency that has a lot of experience and a good reputation in the country of your choice.

Russia, South Korea, and Ethiopia have very different processes and requirements. Do make sure that you understand them. As an example, with Russia, you must usually make two trips; some people have even had to make three. This could be difficult, since you already have young children. South Korea and Ethiopia officially "allow" escort, but most agencies now recommend or require travel, so that you get to know the child's birth culture; however, the travel is usually very brief.


Sharon

[Sohmakun]

Like Sharon and Samantha mentioned, its generally best to pick your country first then choose your agency. Also, when you choose your agency, its best to choose one that works efficiently in at least 2 different countries. Nowadays, many countries are closing their doors to international adoption at alarming rates! If one country closes or changes their rules you can still adopt from a different country without loosing your money or researching a different agency.

[kretzklan]

Sharon is right that Russia is now requiring quite lengthy time away from home - when you add up all the trips - most of the time 3. You can do it in two - but the second trip can become quite long which is why most folks are coming home and then returning. You would also want to look at age of referals - you didn't mention what age you are looking for - but in order for a child to be younger than your children (keep birth order in tact) - you could end up with two very close in age in the Russian program. Good luck with your choice.

[karla-k]

I completely agree that you should choose a country and then an agency that has other programs you would be interested in. The program we are in is going south quickly and we are having to look at other programs "just in case." We are very fortunate that our agency has programs for all of the countries we are interested in.

It is also good to ask and confirm that if you had to switch countries, your agency will not charge another application fee or other fees for you to switch.

[spectrecat]

Thanks for all the responses!

Those who mentioned Russia....we would like to keep birth order intact, and the multiple trips is definitely something we're keeping in mind. Those are reasons we were drawn toward Ethiopia and South Korea, as we plan to visit the country rather than have an escort, and we'd like to go while leaving our other kids with Grandma....but lengthy or multiple trips may not be great for our other kids while they are so young.

As for age, we're hoping to have at least a year between our younger son and our next child...so I guess 18 months and younger. Probably even 12 months or younger.

Since I'm asking all these questions....it seems like more people request girls...or that there are more boys available...at least that's the impression I'm getting after doing some googling and info gathering. (I could be way off here....) We have 2 boys, and everyone (friends and IRL people who don't have any adoption connections) we talk to assumes we'll try to adopt a girl, but in reality we'd probably prefer another boy! Anyway...any opinions or experiences with that? I do remember reading somewhere that Ethiopia doesn't take 'requests' but that you can list 'preferences' or something like that.

Thanks again!!
Keriann

[kretzklan]

I can only speak to Russia - the wait will be lengthened due to the age you want and if you chose a girl - longer still. You should post on the coutry specific boards that you are interested in and you'll get a lot more info - people don't always drift over here.

[ocracoke]

Ethiopia does allow you to request gender (I did) but not all agencies that work in Ethiopia allow you to request a gender. Some agencies that don't allow you to request gender in general will allow you to request a boy. It is true that most people who are adopting and can request gender do request a girl -- no idea why. As a result, wait times for a girl can be significantly longer.

Samantha

[Rapids]

Hi. We had two major considerations for choosing a country. Age of child, and travel requirements. Those plus a few others led us to Ethiopia over and over again over the course of 5 months of intensive adoption research. During that time I checked out TONS of agencies.

The best advice I got while researching agencies was to check the Better Business Bureau for each one. I did that online by googling "Georgia Better Business Bureau" for an agency licensed in Georgia, for example, and then looking up the agency for complaints filed. I actually decided against the Christian agency that I had liked from the beginning based on complaints I read. I ended up going with another agency that I had been in touch with off and on during those 5 months. They are small which means more personalized service and quicker referrals. They have been FABULOUS!

Anyway, for me the country and agency decision evolved at the same time, over a period of several months. Best of luck to you. This has been such an exciting road for us so far!

[Dhewco]

I'm leaning toward the Foster-To-Adopt program, but I thought I'd answer anyway. My single biggest concern is which will take single men? Not darn very many, for sure. The prejudice against us is vast. However, I won't go off on that tangent.

Don't want to do a hijack.

My second concern, how long a stay is required and how much up front cash will be required. What health concerns are probable? I'm a reasonably healthy man (although 50 lbs overweight according to the Body-Mass Index), so I feel likely that I'd pass those.

Does it require a psych test? If so, I stink at those. They're designed to trip you up by asking the same question in several different ways. I hate that. I second guess myself so much that I wonder what's going on. LOL. I don't know if I'd pass one or not.

One thing that doesn't worry me are the background checks. Nothing in my past to trip me up there.

Okay, I'm mumbling...sorry.


David

[sak9645]

VERY few countries accept single men. Once in a while, an agency with extremely good contacts can facilitate an adoption by a single male, but, in general, whether you are straight or gay, you're better off adopting domestically.

Do talk with some long established agencies and see if they have had any success lately in placing children from overseas with single males. I doubt you will find any that will offer much hope, but if they do, expect it to be an uphill battle, with lots of extra requirements. There is a good deal of prejudice against single male adoptive parents overseas.


Sharon

[Dhewco]

Even if the countries take single men, the agencies often won't. Brazil takes a single man, but I still haven't found an agency that'll take one on. I can't remember the agency's name, but one that said it would on the website told me in an email that they likely wouldn't.

Grrr, it sucks to be single as a hetero man. LOLOL.

[spikescopilot]

I'm new here and my head is swimming. After a battle with infertility, we've decided to adopt. We haven't discussed boy/girl yet and are just starting out. We're strongly considering international adoption, but how do you research and decide on a country. We were thinking about Korea, but I just read about the weight requirement and it turns out that my husband is .5 over the BMI requirement. (He's very healthy, but tall and broad-chested; slightly overweight, but I'm not convinced that his BMI is a true reflection of his very good health.) This has me in a tailspin -- how can I tell him he has to go on a diet before we can start? And how would I go about picking another country to adopt from.

I'm sorry -- I probably sound a little crazy; actually I feel a little crazy.

[blessedx5]

Hi,

We were just registered in Bulgaria in June to adopt a little girl age 0-2 1/2 with mild/moderate special needs...now we're hearing that the wait might be two years..does anyone know the cost of changing countries(if we decide to..), from Hague to non-Hague? We're thinking of Ethiopia, but we know that we would need a I600 instead of the I800A..would USCIS charge us again? Any info is helpful..

Frustrated in Ohio...