[AutumnMom]

I do know a bit about RAD and the essential bonding that needs to go on between parents and an adoptive child. In a utopian world I think adoptive parents would be able to take 3 - 6 months off with paid leave and bond with their new child OR not have to work at all. In my case both me and my husband are only able to take about 3 weeks off with our new addition. Any tips on bonding or things that I should look out for? I don't want to have to go back to work but the reality is that we live in CA and we both HAVE to work. It is not utopia but it is the truth. Any advice would be oh so appreciated!

[pnewcombe]

If you are dealing with a true RAD diagnosis, you will know that the issues are way beyond whether you have fulltime off to bond with a child for a few months or not. While having full time available to speed bonding and establish your parent child relationship will be helped be being available it will not be much of a factor in a child with true RAD issues. All children will experience some level of grief and stress during the adoption process but that is not to be confused with issues that RAD presents in a child.

[AutumnMom]

Thank you so much for your post! Any ideas or tips for speeding bonding along??? Thanks in advance!

[karla-k]

I went back to work when my 2nd child was 4.5 months old. I think one of the major factors in maintaining a wonderful bond with him was co-sleeping. Those hours in bed at night helped to make up for the long hours I was teaching and coaching. If your child will do it, I would consider co-sleeping since you are going back to work so soon.

I don't know anyone else's thoughts on this, but maybe you could take your 3 weeks off and when you go back to work, DH could take his 3 weeks off, so that the baby doesn't have to go into daycare until he/she has been home 6 weeks. In an ideal world you could be off together, but I think in your situation I would rather do it one at a time so baby could stay home longer.

[momraine]

A lot is going to depend on the age of your child and what kind of childcare you have. Certainly for your three weeks and anytime you are with the child after do lots of holding and make sure all food and gifts and stuff seem to come from you, so they see you as the provider. If the child can bring lunch to daycare you can instruct the day care providers to use words like "lets see what mommy sent for you to eat" etc. You also might want to try to get the daycare provider to limit hugs and such. If the child does have RAD you will want to get therapy. But make sure the therapist has experience in RAD. If it's a baby, lots of wearing and holding the baby when you are home will help.

[AutumnMom]

WOW! What great ideas ladies! She is an infant so there are some possibilities. Co sleeping? I am always afraid that I would push her off the bed! LOL But I will reasearch online. Thanks so much for your ideas! Limiting the hugs with the nanny is a good one to! All input is oh so appreciated!