[hjelder]

So I am super-overwhelmed. My husband and I are looking at Ethiopia or Haiti, and are willing to adopt slightly older children or sibling sets. I talked to some agencies that said that this won't speed up the process. Has anyone worked with an agency that had a faster process for older children? Please PM me.

If there are other countries that make a process faster I would be interested in that too.

Also, do you have a good agency that worked really well, but was a "good" price--I know, I know, you get what you pay for, but I know there are ones out there that are lower cost and a great agency.

Also, we still haven't eliminated domestic--can anyone tell me their experiences with the two types?

I am so overwhelmed by all the choices and options. I have researched a lot but it seems endless! Please PM me if you can!

[karla-k]

A great source of info on agencies is to find the Yahoo group for each of those countries. Parents who have been there and done that are usually quite willing to share their experiences.

Remember that in I/A, fast and cheap is not usually a reality. After all is said and done, expenses come out to be about equal no matter what agency you use for a country.

We are adopting from Kyrgyzstan. Of the 5 or 6 agencies that are working there, all the parents I spoke to report their expenses to be within a couple thousand dollars of one another. Sometimes where you live actually determines how expensive things are. To get documents for your dossier certified in California is way more expensive, like a thousand dollars more expensive, than in Texas where we live. A home study cost can vary from $800 to $2500 depending on the providers in your area. Travel is also a variable that is hard to control. If you happen to have to travel during a peak travel season your expenses could be much more than a family traveling at another time of year. Your agency has no control over some of these expenses and can only offer very wide ball park figures.

Our agency's (and all others I looked at) estimated a plane ticket to Kyrg to be about $1200. I have NEVER found a ticket that cheap in the 3.5 months since we got our referral. We paid $2100 each for trip 1 plane tickets and will be about the same for trip 2.

The process we used:

1. decide on a country (you may be limited by the requirements that country has in place.)

2. decide on an agency that works with that country. we also made sure that agency worked in other countries we were open to and eligible for in case our 1st choice closed. we narrowed it down to 2 agencies and I called each one. I knew right away which agency was good for us because I felt very comfortable speaking to the coordinator. I knew that I could potentially be bugging this person multiple times a week for several months and I wanted someone I felt comfortable approaching with crazy redundant questions. I did not feel comfortable with the other agency, the person acted like he really was inconvenienced by my call. I did not want to feel that way every time I called him.

3. start the exciting journey of International Adoption!

[ocracoke]

I think it depends on what you mean by "slightly older". Ethiopia has a lot of older children available for adoption. However, older means over the age of 5 often times. Ethiopia also has a waiting child program (only some agencies do this). This means children that have been difficult to find homes for -- which can include special needs, age, sibling groups or sometimes even gender. The most commonly requested specifics in international adoption are an infant girl. Also, Ethiopia is not a central regulated country (like China) so the wait times can vary greatly depending on the agency you talk to. Also, what kind of process time are you looking for? If you are interested in Ethiopia still let me know and provide some more information and I would be happy to PM you regarding agency information.

Samantha

[hjelder]

I am looking more 2-4 age range. I guess I am being unrealistic in hoping that it could happen in under 12 months.
Due to my career--I have this great window of three months off, about ten months from now, between when I take the bar and when I get my results. I would love to take that time for bonding.

I am interested in Ethiopia and have talked to a few different agencies.

Thanks!

[sak9645]

It is never a good idea to plan on a certain time of year for completing an adoption, as things almost always go awry. A judge can go on vacation, a local official can become ill, the central government can impose some new rules, or there can be an outbreak of measles at the orphanage. All of these things can delay approval and travel. And once in a while, though unfortunately rarely, things can happen more quickly than expected.

Adoptions happen "on God's time". The best you can do is to be flexible and good humored. When your child is ready, he/she will come home, and not necessarily during your three-month wait after taking the bar exam, or during a certain season when travel is cheaper.

While there are some countries, such as China, that have a Waiting Child program for school-aged children and children with special needs that is faster than the regular program, most countries do not.

With countries like Ethiopia and Haiti, your agency will deal with a specific orphanage, which may be small. You won't be able to get a referral until there is a child of the right age, health status, gender and so on available -- which could be one month or one year from now.

If the agency does not ban gender selection, almost any orphanage will have fewer families requesting boys, so requesting a boy could mean a speedier referral, if any of the children meet your age and health status requirement. In general, toddlers are requested more often than older children, so if you were willing to adopt a school aged child, and especially a school aged boy, referrals could be faster. And if you were open to some moderate special needs, you might also get a referral slightly faster.

But then you will have to go through the country's process of approving either the adoption or the sending of the child to the U.S. under a decree of guardianship. All sorts of things can affect the length of that process -- from a revolution to new foreign government requirements to bad weather to a clumsy secretary who drops your file behind a cabinet, where it languishes for weeks.

In general, countries with the longest-established, biggest programs tend to have the most predictable timeframes, but even then, things can be very variable.

And do remember that delays can start even before your paperwork goes to the foreign country. Homestudy social workers vary considerably in their availability. Some may make the mandatory number of visits very quickly; others may take months. Some states require homestudies to include the completion of preadoption classes, which can slow the process down. Some USCIS offices process I-600A applications in a few weeks, while others take several months.

And depending on the dossier requested by the country, going through initial document acquisition, notarization, certification, and authentication can be fast or slow. A lot will depend on the states where your documents originated.

Some people manage to get a homestudy completed in a month, USCIS clearance in 2 months afterwards, and a dossier through the process in another month. Others, unfortunately, take a lot longer. And that is before their documents went to the foreign country and the process of identifying and adopting a child began.

Nowadays, it tends to be pretty rare for adoptions to occur in less than a year from homestudy to homecoming. It can happen, but a wait of 12 to 24 months seems to be more and more common, and some countries take even longer.

Sharon

[Sohmakun]

If you want a child 2-4 years old I personally wouldn't reccommend domestic infant adoption. Most of the children are newborns and rarely over the age of six months.

Domestic adoption can be just as long and expensive as international adoption. So don't always assume you will wait ten thousand years for a baby. The more flexible you are with health, race, gender and birth parent contact the more likely you will be matched with an infant.

[jessibird]

I hate to say that just getting your paperwork in place is going to take you at least 6 months. I would have loved to have gotten everything done faster, but the USCIS is taking about 4 months just to process the I800-
(the form asking the US for permission to adopt an orphan.)

Good Luck with whatever route you choose.

[sak9645]

There are really three types of domestic adoption: agency, private, and state.

Domestic agency adoption is generally used by families wanting to adopt newborns or very young infants. In such cases, the agency identifies a woman seeking to make an adoption plan for her baby, and matches her to the prospective parents. The wait for a healthy newborn or infant tends to be long, as there are relatively few such children, compared to the number of people wanting to adopt. And the fees for agency newborn adoption tend to be quite high, because agencies spend a great deal of time and money on recruiting and assisting birthmothers.

On rare occasions, however, an agency may have a situation in which a birth family is relinquishing an older child or in which an adoptive family is choosing disruption/dissolution of an older child adoption. You would pretty much have to call a lot of agencies and ask about disruptions or relinquishments of children in the age range that interests you, but finding a good placement would be a matter of luck. Do remember that many disruptions/dissolutions and relinquishments occur because a child has special needs, especially emotional/behavioral special needs, although some may result from changes in a family's circumstances.

Private adoption is also used, most commonly, by families seeking a newborn or very young infant. In private adoption, the prospective parents identify a situation on their own, and use a social worker and an attorney to complete the various legal requirements.

Again, on rare occasions, a prospective parents "might" become aware of a situation in which a family is going to place an older child for adoption. The parent may be relinquishing because of his/her own problems, or because of a child's special needs. However, it is very difficult to find such a situation, and most such placements result when the relinquishing party is a relative or close friend of the prospective adoptive parents. As an example, you might become aware that an unmarried sister with worsening mental health problems would rather relinquish her six year old to you, than have the state take custody of the child.

State adoption is the most common route for families wishing to adopt an older child domestically. There are many older children, but relatively few infants, in the domestic foster care system. Many, but not all, of the older children will have emotional/behavioral issues resulting from situations in their birth family -- e.g., abuse or neglect -- or from a history of multiple foster home placements. Many, but not all, will also have other special needs.

The greatest need, in state adoption, is for families willing to adopt school aged children, and especially boys. (Americans overwhelmingly prefer to adopt girls.) Families open to all races and to known special needs are particularly welcome.

Sharon