[Ethans_Mom]

Hi - We're new here (guess you couldn't figure that out since this is my first post...LOL)

DH and I have talked about adoption for many years. We were finally blessed with a child after infertility treatments. We want to add another child to our family and do not want to deal with years of infertility treatments again.

I have 3 concerns with adoption and am very confused where to look.

1) we are older. I'm 42 and DH is 50. I'm seeing a LOT of places limit an age range of no more than 45 years between the child and parent. We want a child under 3 years old. (our son is 3 and we want our new child to be younger than him.)

2) we are both obese. We are healthy (just qualified for life insurance, so that says a lot!) and we are working on losing some weight, but we will never be skinny. Do I understand correctly that the Asian countries will not even consider us because they deem obesity to be terminal? Or is it just certain Asian countries? Or a complete fallacy?

3) travel. We need a country that does not require a lengthy stay or multiple trips where both parents must travel. DH owns his own business and cannot be away for very long. (It's just him and a partner who is semi-retired) We would also travel with our son, so it would need to be safe for us to travel with him.

Thanks for any help/clarification you can give. I know my thoughts are quite jumbled right now.

Any race/country is fine, but hubby does have concerns with adopting a child that is 'black'. I won't say I understand because I don't. But to keep peace in the family I won't argue the point, regardless of how stupid it seems to me. (please no flames on this. I feel bad even putting it in print, but it will save time by admitting it up front. Countries like Ethiopia or Haiti would not be good choices for us.)

[Max'smom]

HI,
You probably won't have many options. As you mention, you won't qualify for some Asian countries because of weight concerns they have (plus Korea would not allow you to adopt because of your husband's age). Perhaps you could try Thailand?

Most Eastern European and Central Asian countries require multiple trips or a very long stay. Perhaps you could also try South/Central America, although not Guatemala, as this country is currently about to close for reorganization.
Good luck,
Max's Mom

[2Bulgarianbeauties]

Bulgaria may be a good choice. Two short trips I always left on a Saturday and was home on a Thursday. Given you are 42, I think you would qualify for a child under 3.

Children usually have brown hair and eyes, and light olive skin.

[Ethans_Mom]

Thanks - I think after doing some research that we are going to go the foster/adopt route. We have a church member who works in that field and she is going to help guide us.

I appreciate the time y'all took to respond. :-)