[red4raggle]

I ask this purely out of curiosity. My husband and I are still in the researching/saving $ phase, and have not yet signed with an agency. In my reading, I have noticed that girls are requested in international adoption much more often than boys. I can't help but wonder why. If anyone has an opinion about this, I'd love to hear it. Is it simply balancing families who already have boys?

Thanks in advance for the responses!

Lauren
PAP

[2Bulgarianbeauties]

Here is my unscientific take on that question:

Many international adoptions are pursued by single women, who, choose girls in greater percentages. Given country restrictions, single men are often not eligible to adopt.

Also, I have heard that in couples, the wife tends to drive the dicision to adopt and the process. If the woman has more say, she will tend to choose a girl.

[ocracoke]

Kay described my situation. I don't think most people who do international adoption are single (mostly because there are large number of countries that will not work with single). I am single and I did specifically ask for a girl. Simply put -- I wanted a daughter. And while I would not be able to pick a gender if I were to get pregnant -- I wasn't getting pregnant. I do know plenty of single women who are adopting boys, too. It is true that most couples adopting pick girls and I wonder why. Is it because a boy would carry on the family name and not be genetically linked to the line? Seems silly to me but... Is it because China only really had girls to offer so everyone saw the need as girls needing to be adopted? If I were to adopt again I would ask for another girl -- but this time because I have a 2 bedroom house so they would have to share a room.

I don't know the answer but I would love to hear others perspective on this.

Samantha

[NewWorld1]

Interesting about women driving the decision and choosing females. I would be happy with either...my husband immediately said if we adopt, he would want a female. He is exploring the adoption options, as am I, he is not yet 100% convinced but some initial concerns are the problems that friends of his who had been adopted had while growing up. His position on adopting a female is that in his mind, "girls are more adaptable to their environment." I think he just wants to ensure he has a daddy's girl one way or another!

[DPline]

And along the same lines, another 'reason' I have heard is the perception that girls are easier to raise. Having two boys and one girl, I find that logic questionable!

[loveajax]

I wonder too if boys sometimes face more racism, thus making transracial adoption seem "harder?" (I realize not all adoption is transracial! Are the "girl preferences" the same for European countries?).

I didn't have a gender preference, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't THRILLED THRILLED THRILLED when we learned it was a girl! Now of course I want a mama's boy!

[babystork]

Maybe some adoptive parents are generally older (after trying to have children for many years) and a girl seems easier to raise (less playing ball with them or other high energy activities)?

[ocracoke]

I would just like to say to all of the potential parents that are thinking of adopting girls because they may believe that girls are easier to raise --- don't believe a word of it. I love my girl intensely. I opted to adopt a girl. But let's be real, there is nothing easy about raising a girl. Okay so mine has a feircely indepent stubborn streak to begin with but... As you are thinking about this cute little baby girl in her pink and her frills, also remember the hormonal teenage years. I wouldn't trade it for the world but make no mistake -- girls are not easier.

Samantha

[crick]

Just a thought....

Aren't there several countries where girls are more available than boys for adoption? Many countries view boys as "better" and with more honor, so more apt to raise the boy and not the girl if there is an issue of poverty etc.

[spine]

i've also heard that there is some deep-rooted stigma against a man raising another man's son. this is supposedly silent at times or even unconscious. i should cite my sources, but i can't recall 'em.

[BrandyHagz]

i've also heard that there is some deep-rooted stigma against a man raising another man's son. this is supposedly silent at times or even unconscious. i should cite my sources, but i can't recall 'em.

This is also common propaganda used when talking to pregnant woman facing an unplanned pregnancy with regards to adoption. I have heard many stories where women have been told that a man will never marry her, because a man doesn't want to raise another mans child.

I've also heard it pointed more specifically to boys.

In addition to this - we talked about this in our Foster Parenting Training...that boys are harder to place, because men 'instinctively shy away' from raising another man's son.

[crick]

Really! I've never heard that before so it's interesting. My dh couldn't wait to have sons! Loves dd too, of course, but he wanted that father/son bond too so much.

[hml1976]

We didn't care and have one of each but I will state for the record that my daughter is way harder than my son We love her to pieces but she's a piece of work.

[stephdpenn]

The only reason we wanted a girl was because we already had two sons (bio). Since this was going to be our last child we wanted the experience of having a daughter.
BTW who ever thinks that raising a girl is easier than raising a boy I have one thing to say....Hahahahaha!!

[Synesthesia]

I'd rather just end up with both, but I'm considering adopting a boy first. It depresses me the thought of boys languishing in foster care and in orphanages. But, it also makes me sad how many girls are unwanted in other parts of the world.
Plus, either a boy or a girl would be difficult or easy to raise depending on their individual personality. All boys and girls are different, so one isn't easier than the other.
Especially when they are teens.