[jaenelle]

I have been seeing some agencies that will waive age requirements and/or marriage length requirements if a couple is documented "infertile". But nowhere on any of these sites does it say exactly what "infertile" is defined as. I mean, obviously... can't have kids... but what qualifies as "can't have kids"?

For example, I am on birth control pills to control symptoms of PCOS. Going off them is NOT an option as they are the ONLY way I feel normal. So does this count as infertile? I feel like it does, but I wondered if anyone knew for sure?

[Poleczech]

We are infertile. We were told by my ob-gyn as well as our reproductive endocrinologist (re) that a couple is considered to be infertitle if there is no viable pregnancy after at least a year of unprotected sex.

Since you are on bc and have not tried to go off of it, you don't know if you can get pregnant, so I would not classify you as infertile. There are other treatment options for PCOS that you could discuss with your doctor.

[jaenelle]

Originally Posted by Poleczech

We are infertile. We were told by my ob-gyn as well as our reproductive endocrinologist (re) that a couple is considered to be infertitle if there is no viable pregnancy after at least a year of unprotected sex.

Since you are on bc and have not tried to go off of it, you don't know if you can get pregnant, so I would not classify you as infertile. There are other treatment options for PCOS that you could discuss with your doctor.

I have already discussed and tried them -- at length -- with several different doctors and nothing else has worked. So, no, there are NOT other treatment options for me. For other women, there are. For me, no. I have also tried going off the birth control pills at several different times -- with pretty much awful results. DH and I were actually going to TTC and the doctor required me to be off the pills for three months before we started trying, to chart my cycles. Well, I ovulated at least once during those three months, but I felt and looked so awful there was no way I would have wanted to have sex every day like he wanted us to. I can't even imagine staying off them for a whole year -- I would much rather adopt again.

[sak9645]

Many agencies do not really care about your fertility status. And only a few countries insist on documentation of infertility.

Some agencies may have age requirements, but often because foreign countries have age requirements. While there are countries that value younger parents, there are others, like China, that require parents to be older. Single people, but NOT married people, must also be at least 25 to be approved by the USCIS to bring an orphan into the U.S.

Some agencies have specific length of marriage requirements, but others are willing to look at the whole picture to see if a couple seems stable enough to adopt. For example, if two people have been a couple for a long while, but got married only a year ago, some agencies will consider that equivalent to being married for several years.

Again, however, some foreign countries have minimum length of marriage requirements. When requirements exist, they can be anywhere from one year to five years. These requirements cannot be waived because of infertility, in most cases.

My advice to you is to look at a variety of countries, and find one that allows younger parents, doesn't require a long period of marriage, and doesn't require documentation of fertility status. You almost certainly will find a few. Then talk to a lot of agencies that work in those countries, and find one that is comfortable with your situation.

I do NOT think that you need to worry about defining fertility status. Plenty of people who are fertile, and plenty of people who've proved their fertility by having biological children, have adopted internationally. And where statements of infertility are required, they usually don't have to be detailed. If a doctor is willing to state that you cannot have biological children because of a medical condition -- and that is basically your situation -- you should be fine.

Just to get you started, Colombia likes young parents, but generally wants them to be at least 25. A married couple, age 25, with no children or one child, is probably able to adopt an infant. To the best of my knowledge, there is no fertility requirement.

Korea likes young parents, and has placed children with couples where one spouse is under 25, but there is a three year length of marriage requirement that will not be waived. Fertility status is not usually an issue.

Ethiopia has a one-year length of marriage requirement. It generally wants people to be at least age 25, but it has shown itself to be flexible on many issues. Fertility status is not an issue.

Sharon

[watermelon0719]

I was told that as long as your doctor can provide them a letter saying you are not able to conceive biological children at this time, it doesn't matter what the cause of infertility is. For us, we had tried Clomid and failed and decided not to go any further. This was sufficient for our agency. And actually, all my doctor put in his letter was that we had unexplained infertility and left it at that. They don't need details, it just needs to be verifiable by an MD.