[mrsmommyx6]

My husband does not like to travel and would probably much rather use a escort service. Has anyone used the escort option? Please explain to me how it works.

1) I know there is a fee, does it end up coming out to be the same price as traveling?

2) Do most agencies bring them to your home state or do we travel somewhere else within country?

3) How much longer does using a escort drag the process out?

4) Did you feel like you missed out on a very important part of the adoption by not going to the childs country?

Any other info you can give me would be appreciated too. Thanks!

[sis2kensia]

I think the answers to your questions depend on what country you are adopting from.

I have escorted two children from Haiti for their new families. There was no fee involved because the family found someone who was travelling to Haiti anyway to escort their child(ren). If you asked someone to escort your child to the US from your agency/orphanage - you would have an escort fee and pay the ticket/hotel/meals of your escort. Escorting in Haiti might delay things a week or so while paperwork is gathered, but if you facilitator is on top of things they can probably get that done while you are waiting for your immigration appointment or Visa to come.
I would always certainly recommend travel. What about choosing a country where one parent could travel so that you husband didnt have to go? I can't imagine having to tell my child I never even saw their birthplace! We have so many wonderful memories and pictures we can and will share when the time comes.

S.
sis2kensia@yahoo.com

[sak9645]

1. First off, relatively few countries allow escort. Most require at least one parent to travel and finalize the adoption in-country. As an example, Russia requires both parents to travel. China requires at least one parent to travel.

2. If a country allows escort, your agency will arrange to have your child escorted. The escort is often someone from the agency -- staffer or adoptive parent -- or from the foreign welfare institution.

3. You will usually pay the escort's round trip airfare and your child's airfare, plus the cost of lodging, meals, etc. This generally works out to less than the cost of travel, simply because the escort does not stay in the foreign country more than a day or two, and because only one adult is traveling.

4. The escort will usually bring the child to a major international airport -- not directly to your city, unless he/she happens to be going there. If you don't live near an international airport, you may have to fly or drive some distance.

5. Depending on the country, escort can extend the process by anywhere from a week to a month or more. Check with an agency working in the country of your choice.

6. I would strongly recommend travel instead of escort. The visit to your child's country is the trip of a lifetime. You will develop memories that you can use, as your child grows, to help him gain an appreciation of his/her birth culture.

Sharon

[mrsmommyx6]

Thanks for your input. Right now we are looking at Ethiopia and I know they are one that does escort. I wanted to check out all my options and get advice from others.
Thanks again!

[ocracoke]

Mommy,

All the information you have been given already is good for Ethiopia as well. I did not escort but I did condsider it. The costs for me (single) to travel would have been roughly the same as if I had escorted. The best advice on that of course would be check with the agency that you are using on their costs and policies.

The other thing to consider when escorting v. traveling is the I600. When you travel your I600 is filed in Ethiopia while you are there. When you escort your I600 is filed in your local USCIS office (where ever you filed your I600A). You would need to check on the length of time it is taking your office to process this document. Some areas of the country seem to be processing them fairly quickly. My area was slow at it and we estimated that escorting would add about an extra 4 months on to my adoption process.

Samantha

[Oldster]

We adopted our daughter 24 years ago. She was delivered to JKF airport from South Korea along with a dozen other screaming infants who had used up all their diapers. She was placed in our arms by a fellow travler, an African-American businessman. Fellow passengers were enlisted to help because the adoption agency workers who escorted the babies had more than they could handle.

It was like a mass birth.

It was exciting and wonderful.

It doesn't matter to me that I have never seen the country of my child's birth. Sure, I'd like to see Asia, but it's not the highest item on my "to do" list for my life.

Do whatever makes YOU happiest and don't listen to anyone who is trying to make you feel guilty. You are adopting, and that is something to celebrate. How and when and where that child is placed into your arms simply doesn't matter. It's just important that it happens. It makes no difference to your child, either.

If you are bent on traveling to the country, why not postpone it until the child is a teen, when you BOTH can enjoy the experience? (Start saving now!)


Oldster (now a doting grandmother of a GORGEOUS Asian boy!)

[hammerem]

A family I know is hoping to adopt from Ethiopia and use an escort. Does anyone know what you have you do to be an escort? Can a family use another relative or friend to act in this role? Do they have to get approved by the agency or country or something?
Any information anyone may have would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks!

[sak9645]

Agencies have different policies regarding escort. Many use their own staff to meet the child, complete the paperwork, and bring the child home. Others tend to use parents who adopted previously from the country, and are familiar with the travel and in-country procedures. Still others use staff from the foreign orphanage or their own office in the foreign country.

It is not common for a family member other than the parents, or for a family friend, to do the trip, but it does happen. And agencies don't go out recruiting strangers to do escort. Escort requires a very special type of person -- one who has lots of experience with children in general, and with newly adopted children, in particular. The children are often sick and grieving, and the flight is likely to be very, very stressful and difficult. Who better than an adoptive parent or an agency worker who sees adopted children every day?

Moreover, escort does not allow time for sightseeing and such. Generally, the person gets to the country, has a night's sleep, handles all the necessary paperwork, and then gets back on a plane with the child. The object is to get the child to the new parents as quickly as possible. With jet lag and the rigors of travel, not to mention the fact that the children often have diaper blowouts and other problems, it's truly a labor of love that no escort fee can compensate for.

My homestudy social worker did her first escort shortly after I traveled to China to bring home my daughter. The social worker, an experienced Mom, called me upon her return from the escort trip to India, and said, "I don't know how you parents do it!" She was totally exhausted and couldn't do much besides sleep when she got home. And the child she was escorting was actually pretty healthy and mellow, by international adoption standards.

Adoption travel isn't easy, and some new parents just don't want to do it. Personally, I think it's a mistake. Going to a new culture, and learning to parent there under a certain amount of adversity, is a tremendously empowering experience. You DO survive this "labor", and you learn that you WILL be able to handle virtually anything that comes up in your life as a parent. And you have photographs and memories that will last a lifetime.

Sharon

[mom2handq]

We adopted both of our boys from S. Korea where having an escort is fairly common, and both of our children were escorted home. We chose not to travel for many reasons, and for us I know it was the right decision. It was nice to be able to go to he airport, bring home our children, and start the bonding process in the calm of our home, without the jetlack and stress of trying to get home, and a very long trip.

It ended up costing us less then traveling as we only payed for the escorts ticket and a small travel fee, rather then 2 adult tickets and a weeks worth of hotel costs, food, etc.
The escorts usually bring the children to the "nearest point of entry" which for us was L.A. Then we could either fly or drive there or have a social worker from our agency fly there and bring him to our local airport. It will really depend on your agency if they provide the second option.


I know in Korean adoptions, if you travel you only get to meet your child once briefly during the trip, and then they hand you the baby once you get in the van to head for the airport- so all of those first moments with your child are in a crowded airport and on a 16 hour flight trying desperately to keep your beautiful new child from screaming for most of the flight. I know several families who traveled and are glad they did, and others who's children were escorted and they're glad they did that as well. We do want to visit our children's birth countries one day, but we decided to save the extra money and take a trip to Korea as a family once our children are old enough to remember it.