[HopefulAunt]

So my sister, who is single, is in the process of starting an adoption, and I am thrilled. I have been so excited about this, that I have shared it with some people we know. The reaction is amazing to me. Some have said what an amazing person she is for giving her time to an unwanted child(this statement pisses me off), i have heard oh why we should do that? thiose children have medical problems. A few people have seemed really truly happy for her, but everyone else just seemed to come out with stupid andignorant remarks. One bright person said, well does she realize the kid will look different from her if she adopts from Vietnam? She won't be able to pretend it is really hers. Ugh! I can not stand dumb and ignorant people. Alot of them act like the child is there as a show piece. Who cares if the chld looks like you? Why would she want to pretened it was her bioligical child? And so what if they have medical problems, my biological daughter has medical problems, it doesn't change how I feel about her or how much I love her. Have any of you ever gotten comments like this? If so what was your response? I am not real good with dealing with things like this, I told them all to pretty much bite me. I guess I was just really suprised about this. Are people reallty this ignorant?
Thanks
Brittany

[amj1962]

Brittany

I am a single mother also to a little boy I adopted form Russia in Oct. 2001. Really you just have to turn a deaf ear to the ignorance of some people and just concentrate on really what is important and that is your sister. She is doing a great thing for herself but also for a child. It is a win -win situation for her. Most people will say how lucky the child is but what they have to realize is that your sister is lucky also. People still to this day say what a lucky boy he is and I gently remind them that not only is he lucky but me and my family are as well.

[qs mom]

I"m also a single adoptive mom to a little boy from Bulgaria. We've been a family almost 3 years.

And yep there are alot of jerks, morons, loser, and just plain mean people out there.

You need to choose the battles you want to fight. Many have told me 'how lucky your son is" I always answer that I am the lucky one.

You can take an opportunity to educate or try to educate some of the boneheads. You'll start to be able to tell the jerks from those that really just don't understand and would be receptive to some education.

[Mindy82]

I'll try to make this quick, as I tend to ramble on... I'm 24, single, (well i have a boyfriend but not married), and have wanted to adopt for as long as I can remember...

Besides my mom, dad, brother, and a few friends who would support me no matter what, generally, people think this is a very bad idea... I read too much into it, at first, but then realized, that you are exactly right.. it's ignorance, and nothing more. Wait and see how many people feel the same way when they see her beautiful baby.. no matter if he's purple!

[Vicki H]

Unfortunately , you will always hear comments like these. I just chalk it up to ignorance.

I still hear comments all the time and my son has been home over two years now.

The comment I really dislike is, did you get to pick him out. I really have to wonder about some people. What kind of comment is that? They make it sound like I was adopting a puppy or kitten. I always say no, God chose him for us.

Hang in there, it is annoying and irritating, just turn a deaf ear to it.

Vicki

[qs mom]

I hate 'did you pick him out'. I didn't go to the SPCA. Thanks for reminding me about that one.

Tons of stupid comments. It's so hard to pick a 'favorite'. As I mentioned, pick your battles.

[joval]

Yes they can be. remember the saying: 'ignorance is bliss' well....

[OKCSingleAdopt]

I am in the same boat. I just began the adoption process and as a single person I am being bombarded with the same responses. I just silently count to ten and remind myself that these people have the problems...not me. We should all be so fortunate to be able to adopt.

I am planning on adopting from Ethiopia and as a white, single female, you can imagine the responses I get. Just stay encouraged and excited and don't let these people get you down.

Kristin

[iwrite]

Only a few people know I'm planning to adopt (in four years)... I'm keeping it to myself because I know that I would hear all those godawful comments from my cousins about the child looking different from me and then some ignorant aunt will pop up and said "But the child will never really be yours."

I'm a strong believer that it takes a heck of a lot more than blood to make a real family... Love is the key and, to me, that's all that matters.

So they all can just go take their negative comments and stick 'em where the sun don't shine.

[intladoptionblog]

Very sadly, pinheaded morons abound. My thoughts: educate those you have time for (chronologically and mentally) and ignore the rest.
One thing to keep in mind, however, is the need to protect your kids from idiotic comments once they're home. Thinking about how much impact words can have on big people makes you realize just how hard they can be on the little ones.

[StorkWatcher]

I tell you - people just don't think. They would do well to live by Cowboy Bob's motto - if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Fortunately, there are many of us out here that would say, "What?! Your sister wants to become a mom? That's terrific! It's the best thing she'll ever do!" And just be happy for her to be on this journey and just as happy that you'll be an auntie!!!

Be like a duck. Think like a duck Let it roll off the back. (Easy to say, harder to do sometimes). Just remember, not everyone is this ignorant (ignorant meaning uneducated, not stupid).

[jameyevans]

Isn't it sad?! I think that a lot of people are very uneducated about adoption. maybe that's why!

[solaris11]

All my relatives against my adoption.It's very hard , but the best way was to say nobody about your plans. I did huge mistake to share my excitement with people. I should just have it to myself. Hope you will ignore all those who don't understand . God bless you!

[pequele]

wow. did people who have biological children "get to pick them out" or did I miss that in biology class too? sorry I guess I deflect stupid questions with stupid questions back....that way if they actually want to have a conversation I can speak on their level >