[Mindy82]

Hello Everyone,

Through my research of adoption, I have learned many, many terms, but this one i'm unfamiliar with. Can someone explain in detail please?

[kelleymac]

After the adoption is final. (child is home to US in international terms, after TPR in domestic terms) the adoptive parents elect not to parent the child. They either request that the original agency re-place the child in the US, or they place the child in foster care.

It then becomes a domestic adoption, as another US couple will now be adopting the new US citizen.

HTH,
Kelley

[Mindy82]

That's very sad! Why would someone go through all the trouble to adopt, and then elect not to parent the child? It seems very unfair to take the child away from his homeland and then "abandon" him for lack of a better term!

[crick]

Unfortunately it does happen. And sometimes it happens because the parents thought they were adopting a child with very few issues and instead the child has a lot more than the parents can handle.

There were a lot of misinformed parents I think who didn't realize the impact of RAD and other severe attachment issues. They didn't have the support or help in correct diagnoses and therapy and had no resources to effectively parent the child.

I'm not excusing everyone who disrupts but I can understand why it happens sometimes.

[AwaitingBeloved]

It is sad, and I can't speak for sure since I have no idea really about int'l adoptions, but from what I've learned on this forum is that there is occasionally a deception that happens and adoptive parents are adopting a child that has more health concerns than they were informed about. I am certain this would not be a decision any adoptive parent would make lightly, it is probably an adoptive parents nightmare to have to even consider this. But I speculate that there are many possible deceptions that can happen and aren't identified until the family is home and the child has been evaluated by their US dr. Not that this happens frequently, but I have seen the stories people have shared here where they were blindsided about something serious, etc.

It is important for any child to be raised in a loving home, and in a home where people can handle any special needs that may arise. Some people have the capacity to handle any thing that comes up, others have limitations. And it's important for people to honor their limitations instead of punishing the child by neglecting them or not being able to get them the care they need, and to do what is best for that child. It's not an easy decision, this I am sure. And I can never fault someone for deciding to do this, I've never walked in their shoes. I am heartbroken for a child this happens to, but hopeful that when any special needs are identified, a family willing and able to take those special needs on will be matched with them. So difficult, and you are right, so very sad.

[sak9645]

Technically, adoption disruption means stopping an adoption before finalization, and adoption dissolution means terminating an adoptive relationship. However, the term "adoption disruption" is often used for both situations.

Suppose that you started the process of adopting from a country. You actually went far enough to get a referral of a child, and were planning to travel to meet the child and finalize the adoption. Then, suppose that your husband suddenly announced that he wanted a divorce, after 20 years of marriage. Totally in shock, and not at all prepared to be a single parent, you decided not to go through with the adoption. This would be a disruption.

Now, instead, suppose that you adopted a child. He turned out to have very severe reactive attachment disorder, possibly related to sexual abuse and beatings he had suffered in his birth family. He tried to molest your biological daughter. He attacked you with a knife he concealed in his room. He killed the cat. He stole. He lied. And so on. He needed to be watched constantly.

Doctors said that therapy would be a long slow process, and might not work. They recommended placement in a therapeutic home, where there would be 24-hour supervision for his protection and that of the other residents, as well as daily therapy. When you checked into such settings, you found that they were terribly expensive. You learned that the only way your child could go into such a setting would be if you relinquished him to the state. Reluctantly, you did so. This would be a dissolution.

Sharon