[shandrath]

My husband and I have been discussing the topic of changing the name of an adoptive child. How do you deal with this? I can see how it is ok for a baby or very young child but could you do this to a three year old? Would you change their name before they came home and have the care takers help with the change? What works and what is acceptable? We are curious.

Shannon

[ll_bay]

FWIW, we gave our India-born daughters, who had only their first names, American middle names and then my hyphenated last name. We told them they could change and use their middle names if they ever wanted too. My youngest daughter, adopted at 3, started using her American name some of the time right away and now at 5 1/2 uses only it. My eldest daughter, adopted at 6, decided to change and use only her American name when she was 7 1/2. I was kind of disappointed they gave up using their Indian names, but firmly believe it is their choice.
HTH

[sak9645]

In many countries, it is not possible to have the orphanage caretakers or foster parents accustom a child to a name change before he/she comes home.

Some parents will want to maintain the foreign first name of the adopted older child, possibly using an American middle name to tie the child to their own family heritage. Of course, the foreign name should:

a) Be easily pronounced by an average American. The child shouldn't have to be exposed to all sorts of mispronunciations.

b) Not sound or look like an offensive English word. (As an example, there is a Vietnamese name that resembles the F-word.)

c) Have a nice meaning. (Do you really want to give your child a Chinese name that means "stinky duckweed"?)

d) Not be inconsistent with the family's religious tradition. (Example: the Jewish family who adopts a Guatemalan child with the name Jesus.)

e) Not identify the child as an orphan or abandoned child to people of his/her ethnicity. (Example: some Chinese children have come with names meaning things like "child of the nation", implying that China, not the birthparents, raised them.)

If the name is good, but the family really wants to emphasize the child's connection to their heritage, they may want to use an American first name and keep the foreign name as a middle name. This will allow the child to drop the first name, at some point, and use the middle name only, if desired.

Do be aware that many older children, who have not enjoyed their experience living in an institution, have been eager to change their names to something that comes from their new parents' culture.

Sharon

[shandrath]

Our first son is Joshua and there seem to be many boys with that name. If the right child for us was a Joshua then we would have to change the name. We would use their native name in their name to the best of our abilities, but are just discussing it because of how strongly we feel about the importance of a name and the importance of the name they were first given.

Thank you for the different advise.

Shannon

[cakegirl]

In Australia, you are not allowed to change the name of an older child unless the name would be culturally inappropriate in the new country.