[ll_bay]

there are other groups out there too; pm me if you want to know more (and nice to meet those of you who already have!)

[bluedaisy]

It's great to find this thread! I also wondered if I was the only who wanted to adopt regardless of my fertility. Now, my mom and sister both had problems carrying children to term (my sister was on bedrest for months! but now has a wonderful boy), but that wasn't the only reason. I am also drawn to the idea of giving a home to a child who really needs one. I think I learned too much about overpopulation when I was younger.

I don't know if this is a sensitive issue... but are any of you also non-Christians? I see a lot of Christians drawn to adopt, which is great, but religion and God aren't part of my "call" at all. Just wondering if there are others like me.

[carolynppk]

Although I am not in the same boat as you, I am an adoptee who has six biological kids, let me offer my support to you. Not everyone will look at you strange (many but not all). I respect everyone in how they choose to build their families. And while I chose a different way to have my family, I greatly respect and admire you for your choice.

People will ask questions and say whatever no matter how you have them. I have always been asked questions (some really stupid) about my adoption. It honestly has never bothered me when people ask questions, no matter how bad, I look at it as a chance to educate and dispell some myths. But dear, I have had my children biologically and I get all the questions and dumb comments too. I teased my best friend that we were pregnant again with number seven (NOT!) and he was so mad he told his wife they were cancelling their trip to see us. It's just not right, he would say. I don't remember the last time anyone paid our bills, fed or clothed our kids. We live a very humble lifestyle, but a lot of it has more to do with the fact I lost my first husband at age 33, when the three oldest were very young. I realized then, and so did they, that there is a lot more important stuff to life than money. So know that it really doesn't matter what you choose to do, people will always have a comment or a thought about it. Gee, if only they put that much time into their own families!!! Good luck and don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about the choice you have made.

Carolyn

[tenne]

Hello there,
I'm not religious in the least bit. I wouldn't even call myself a spirital person. I want to have a child to love and raise and do not want the baby or toddler stage. I guess shelfish might be more my title than save the world.
terri

[Grobi]

Hi all,

I find it so interesting to read all you guys' views and reasons for adopting. They are all greatly respectable in my mind.
As for myself, strangely enough I needed to have my own child (now 13 months) to discover the motherly feelings in me. Since having the little one, I simply cannot bear hearing about children living under miserable conditions, abandonded, not cared for well without my stomach twisting. That's the main reason why I would like to adopt at least one of them. Unfortunately, you can't help them all but you can at least make a difference to one child.
Giving birth was an amazing experience for me, but I am confident I will love the next little one just as much as my biological child. For me the feelings stem from this helpless little bundle in my care rather than the biological bond.
Just wanted to contribute one more view of the issue...
Best wishes to all on your path!

[Molly12]

What an interesting thread! I am in a slightly different boat, as a 27 yr old single female. I've never tried to get pregnant, but I assume I can. But I'm going to adopt first. I have always wanted a big family(came from 6) and with all the overpopulation, and children out there without homes, I can't imagine giving birth to a large family. It just doesn't make sense for the world today.

My plan(ish) is to start with adoption, and then go back and forth. We'll see how that works I do get many questions - Am I giving up on finding a husband? Why don't I just get pregnant? Etc. And I'm still at the beginning of the process, so I'm sure that will get much worse. But I feel very comfortable and excited about the decision, so anyone I've talked to has come around to my way of thinking before long.

It's also exciting to hear from someone who is adopting without religious overtones! It does seem like most people are religious, and I'm definitely not. I've just wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, so I've decided it's time to jump in.

Molly