[ian's mom]

http://forums.adoption.com/images/icons/icon5.gif Photolistings from adoption.com and agency ??'s
Hello,

We've just begun the adoption process, I think perhaps the wrong way. I went to adoption.com looked at the photolistings and found a little russain boy in kaz that meets our needs, (we wanted the same age same sex sibling as our bio son, ian, who turned 3 on new year's day) i know there are no guarantees, but what are your chances of receiving the child you fell for on the photolisting?

also, i'm a bit saddened by all of the slashing of various agencies. i would think the majority of people posting information are doing so for the "right" reasons but some of the threads read as if they were written by teenagers arguing about a highschool topic.

the child we're interested in is located with a specific agency and i'm still not certain what agencies have good success rates with placing you with the child you have looked at on the photolisting at adoption.com

any help about agencies and the photolisting would be greatly appreciated.

thanks

[hjdeth]

Ian's Mom,
I believe photolisting of Kaz children is illegal, same as photolisting Ukrainian or Russian children. As such, I would tell to run far and hard from any agency that participates in illegal activities. I would not for 1 moment jeopardize my adoption or my heart with any agency that I could not trust. My personal belief is that if an agency cannot be trusted to follow the laws of the child's country what gives me any indication that they have any higher respect for our own laws?

If the child is special needs, part of a large sibling group (3+), or older (8yo+), there may be a good chance of adopting that child. But this little boy doesn't sound like he meets any of those criteria so this may well be a "bait and switch" situation which is definitely not in your best interests.

Find a reputable agency and then wait for a referral that matches your critera.

[sak9645]

Some agencies use photolistings appropriately. That is, they use them only when the country permits them, and primarily for hard-to-place children, such as school age kids, sibling groups, and kids with special needs. And they write an accurate narrative accompanying the photos, indicating known physical, mental, or emotional issues. These are generally agencies that are also ethical in other ways, and that have a good track record of service to children and families.

Unfortunately, some agencies do not use photolistings appropriately. They may use photolistings when a country does not permit them. They may use photos of children who are not actually available for adoption -- especially photos of healthy infant girls, who are easily placed -- to get families to sign up. They may write glowing narratives about the photolisted children, conveniently failing to mention such issues as known maternal alcohol use, history of physical or sexual abuse, presence of Hep. B, etc. These agencies often mislead families in other ways as well.

Remember that many good agencies will not "hold" a child for you, even if you send money, if you are not paper ready -- that is, unless you already have an approved homestudy and USCIS clearance. Holding a child for a person who is not paper ready could mean leaving the child in an orphanage for much longer than necessary. So if you want to find a child on a photolisting, you may want to become paper ready before you start your search, even though there is a risk that your paperwork will expire before you find and adopt a child.

Whether or not you are paper-ready, always check the reputation of an agency before sending money to hold a photolisted child. Do NOT give in to pressure, even if the agency says, "There are several other families interested in the child, and we will hold him/her for you only if you send us money now." In fact, a high-pressure tactic of this sort should be a "red flag".

When researching an agency, here are some things you can do:

1. Contact the licensing authorities in the state or states where the agency is located. Find out if the organization is licensed and, if possible, determine what sorts of complaints, if any, have been filed against it.

2. Contact the Better Business Bureau in the state or states where the agency is located. Find out what sorts of complaints, if any, have been filed against it.

3. Determine whether the agency belongs to any organizations that seek to upgrade the adoption profession and promote ethical international adoption. The major one is the Joint Council on International Children's Services, which publishes a list of its member agencies at www.jcics.org. But some agencies may also belong to the National Council for Adoption or the Child Welfare League of America.

4. CHECK REFERENCES! This is the best way to determine whether an agency is right for you. Even if an agency is ethical in every way, it may not be a good "fit" for you.

When checking references, here are some tips:

1. Ask the agency for names of clients whom you can contact. A good agency will give them to you. Just remember that the names given to you by the agency are likely to represent its most satisfied clients.

2. A good place to look for other people who have used an agency is your local adoption support group. It's probably a good idea to link up with such a group in any case, for support during and after the adoption process.

3. Also check the Internet listservs, bulletin boards, and chats. Just remember a couple of simple rules of "net-iquette". Don't provide too much identifying information about yourself, for your protection. And when you post a question, always ask that people respond to you by private message or e-mail, not on the list or board. Most listserv and bulletin board moderators do NOT allow agency-bashing in their forums, for fear of lawsuits, and most families will not want to make negative comments in a public forum, especially if they are still "in process."

4. Look specifically for people who used the agency you are considering for the country you have in mind, and in the very recent past. Remember that an agency may have an outstanding program in one country, and a mediocre one in another. Also remember that, if an agency has lost or gained a highly experienced program manager in the past year, the program may have improved or deteriorated.

5. Be very specific in what you ask families. Just because an agency is honest doesn't mean that it will meet your needs. As an example, if you have never traveled overseas before, and are nervous about this aspect of adoption, you are going to want an agency that "holds your hand" every step of the way. So be sure to ask a lot of questions in this area.

6. Come up with a list of questions for the agency -- for example, questions about the photolisted child and the adoption process. See whether the agency responds to you promptly and with clear, direct answers. An agency that takes weeks to get back to you, or that gives you evasive answers, is not one you are going to enjoy working with during your adoption.

[doghouse]

The above is really good advice. Choose the agency first, then start looking at referrals.

I know it is irresistable to surf the photolistings. Surf with caution because there are sharks out there that want your money.