[kyoko]

Hi!
My husband and I are in the process of trying to decide which is the best country from us for and adoption. We are thinking Brasil or Russia. We are both from Chile originally although my husband has been living in Northamerica since he is 16. We have 2 children one 2 and one 4 and are raising them in a bilingual environment: English and Spanish. We are considerin the adoption of an older child 5-7.

We both feel very attached to Brasil, we love everything about them, their language, their culture, the people. We KNOW that culture. Portuguese and Spanish speaking poeple CAN understand between them because they are similar.

Then there is Russia. Culturally speaking we are far away from that culture, we don't know the language or the country. All we know is just facts from books! and then we have fallen in love with the children from many waiting lists. T

he big question is: do you think the language barrier in the first place and second not being able to give them "their" culture from the heart would be a big issue? The thought of having a child coming home to us, hearing us speaking English and Spanish without understanding one single word and not being able to comunicate makes me feel terrible. Of course we would learn some Russian but....

We strongly believe that one big commitment for any adoptive family is to always have in mind the child's culture...I do not think that is something you can or should try to erase.

Please please write to us with any thoughts you may have about this, we would greatly appreciate it!!

Thank you!

Kyoko-

[yeysk]

Kyoko,
It seems to me an important aspect of culture for your child is the culture he/she will live in and be surrounded by once the child is living with you. You can't be something you aren't.

I had a friend who adopted from Guatemala. She tried her hardest to BE Guatemalan for the child's sake, but she isn't. So ... her child is American, with Guatemalan origins.

Your thoughts?

[kyoko]

Yes, I think your are right. After many conversations with people who have gone through adoption, we also came to the conclusion that Brazil was the best option for us. It would come so naturally to give him his roots....

Kyoko-

[yeysk]

Kyoko,
Be sure to post an update as your Brasilian adoption progresses! Hope it goes well.

As for me, we are pursuing a Russian adoption. (grandparents on my dad's side were Russian) ...

However, Russia has such an alcohol problem that it is a scary thing to determine whether a child has been affected. FAS is a permanent retardation that can't be cured by love.

We are examining our first referral right now and from her small hc our doctor suspects she may have FAS. I don't yet have the heart to say no, but my dh does not want to proceed.

Regards -

Y.